June 1st - June 19th
It's almost summer! The last few weeks of school have come, and students will need to study hard for their final exams! Don't let up yet, or your grades won't be what you want them to. Of course, the weather is almost perfect and pristine, in attempts to lure students away from their studies.
A Traitor's Death (ISO Anyone who knows Lianne) 2/3/09
Lianne gazed out the window, chin resting on her hand as she pondered life. She couldn’t help but wonder why she kept coming back to the owlery. True, it was one of the only places she could find peace among a life of classes, prefect duties and Quidditch. However, she could also remember several events that had taken place here. Some more significant than others.
She’d made an enemy of Mack Raelene here; a tussle over the girl’s cigarettes and a resistance to follow the rules; the book from her brother that Mack had attempted to toss out this same window. And then there was that time with Atticus, as well, when she’d ascended the stairs to send a letter to her brother. Her last letter. Now that she thought of it, Atticus had probably sent for the flowers at that point.
However, that wasn’t the important thing. She and her friend had had an interesting conversation, where he had given her some excellent advice without even realizing it. Lianne had decided to wait, sure that Atticus would see how she felt in his own time. Two months, at least, had gone by since then, and it didn’t seem like he was about to admit any feelings of ‘amour’ towards her.
She sighed and closed her eyes, resting her forehead on her arm. She was beginning to think she’d been wrong. Perhaps Atticus really didn’t return her feelings. She’d had a crush on him for over half a year, now, and he didn’t seem to have noticed. She’d certainly given him enough signs; asking him to the Halloween Masque, discreet signs, powerful conversations … Atticus wasn’t obtuse, and she had to admit that it really was beginning to seem like she had been wrong.
That didn’t diminish her feelings for him. No way. But perhaps it was time to begin putting them aside, locking them away. In a small fiasco last month, Lianne had been enamoured with Devon – as had Puck, she remembered now with a smile. Even now that the effects had worn off, Lianne was still feeling something for him. It could’ve just been friendship, yes, but there was something else.
All thoughts of this flew out of her mind when an owl swooped in through a different window. Not paying it any mind, she tried to return her attentions to the weather outside. However, she felt a gentle peck on her shoulder a moment later. Grimacing, she took the envelope and turned it over, looking for any notion as to who it was from. When she saw the name, she sighed, closed her eyes briefly, and then slid the letter out of the envelope.
Dear Lianne,
It is unfortunate that I must write to you with such devastating news so soon after our first loss, but it cannot be helped. I recently received word that your Aunt Eliana was killed. Her husband, Terrance, wrote to me himself. He sounded devastated, poor lad; even so, he was able to tell me that your aunt was killed by an invasion of deatheaters. He sounded wracked with guilt for not being there to save her, but I doubt there was anything he could have done.
There is, unfortunately, more that I must tell you. This was not just a random murder; Eliana was a Deatheater herself, and it is believed that they thought her disloyal. It is not really a surprise, I suppose, considering our heritage, but I had hoped that lifestyle had died with our parents. Even so, I’m sure this is difficult for you to hear. If you wish to come home, I suppose you may, but I think you would do best to stay at home. I –
Lianne crumpled the letter in her hand without reading it further and tossed it on the cobblestone floor in front of her. She covered her face with her hands and leaned back against the wall.
~~
December 16th, 2008
“I can’t do this, Terrance. My niece – our niece – may be on that train!” The stocky young woman paced the floor of the cramped living room, her once-pretty face lined with years of pain and stoniness. “This is no way to live.”
He strode forward and grasped her shoulder tightly. “If they hear you talk this way –”
“I don’t care,” Eliana shrieked, whirling away from him. “Don’t you get it? I don’t care anymore!”
“They’ll kill you.”
“I can’t let them do this, and if it means I die …” She gazed into his eyes, lips pursed tightly. “Then I do.”
“But what about us?”
“What about ‘us’,” she said softly, raising a gentle hand to his cheek. “There is no more ‘us’, Terrance. I loved you since I was a girl, but I chose Launce, and I had my reasons for that. When you walked through that door and killed him …” Her hand dropped. “What little of myself left that I had abandoned me.”
“You would really betray this force, this beautiful uprising, simply because you feel guilty?”
“If there is anything beautiful left …” She took a deep breath. “It resides in my niece, for she has been able to stay strong; her friends, for who they will become. I won’t fight this fight anymore. I’m going to try and stop them.” Eliana’s look turned to one of pleading as she grasped his shoulders. “Help me, Terrance. Stand beside me and help me fight.”
He looked into her eyes, and for a moment, she saw the boy he once was. The flicker disappeared, and he shoved her away, tugging his wand free as he did so. Holding it at her throat, he backed her against the wall. “There can be no disloyalty.”
Re: A Traitor's Death (ISO Anyone who knows Lianne) 2/3/09
One letter a week was all that Tucker was supposed to worry about. Just one letter, and his mother wouldn't get at his throat for not keeping in contact. So he had assembled another letter, filling it with vague details about things just to subdue her rage. She was still rather sore with Tucker for not coming home over break, seeing as she wanted to spend the holiday with her only child, but Tucker felt that going home with Cory had been much more important. There would be dozens of Christmases with his family that he could look forward to. That one with Cory would probably be the only one ever, as sad as it was to admit a fact like that. Relationships at such an age were fleeting. Very, very fleeting. Tucker liked it when they lasted, but they hardly ever did. He and Cory were doing pretty good though, minus their little spat at her house... Ugh he didn't want to have to remember that.
He climbed the long staircase to the Owlery, his letter clutched in hand. If only Hoot had decided to sleep in his dormitory the night before. But no, the bird had decided to go "socialize" with his other birdie buddies. And now Tucker was wasting his time climbing stair after stair after stair. Oh well, once he got up there and mailed the letter, he could go back to doing whatever he was planning on doing. Note to self: Figure out something to do.
Tucker finally reached the top of the steps, and entered the Owlery. There was someone already in there. Tucker came to an abrupt halt, surprised at catching someone in the Owlery at such a moment. Usually there was no one there. He could enter, do his business, and then leave without having to make small talk or discuss formalities. Maybe he didn't know this person though. Hopefully.
Wait. He did know this person. It was Lianne. Tucker's stomach dropped, but he couldn't turn around and run away. He had come all that way, and everyone knew that getting to the Owlery was much more difficult than it was worth. Talk about being out of the way. He needed to simply mail the letter to his mother, and he could be on his way. Taking a breath, Tucker entered the Owlery, searching the rafters for Hoot. He made an occasional glance at Lianne, wondering if he was going to get away without saying a word to her, but he almost felt guilty in doing so. Lianne had tried so many times to reconcile, but Tucker couldn't get over what she had done. It was so...like him. That's what scared him the most probably, knowing that he had done such a thing to people before, mainly Cory. It had been slightly different with Cory, but it probably had a similar effect.
"Hey Lianne," Tucker finally said, his voice sounded almost defeated and tired. However, once he took another look at her, he realized that she looked a lot worse than he ever could. "Erm...do you uh...need to talk to someone?" He asked gently. Part of him hoped that she said no. Well, the majority hoped, but then a small fraction did really care. It was probably the most sympathy he had felt for Lianne in a long time. But she really did look distraught. He couldn't just walk away...
Re: A Traitor's Death (ISO Anyone who knows Lianne) 2/3/09
OOC: MWEE! Tucker and Lianne, another encounter. XD I can't help it, I love these.
Lianne was unaware of what had truly passed between her aunt and uncle that fateful night; the only thing beating itself inside of her brain was that not only had she lost yet another family member, but they had been a Deatheater. A murderer. A bringer of evil. Her father had made sure to tell her about their Slytherin heritage once she had been sorted into Gryffindor, and she’d made a point of locking it away. Though Tim had brought it up once or twice, she had ignored it mainly.
She was the first in both sides of her family to be placed in Gryffindor; even Tim had been in Ravenclaw. Rubbing her face with her hand, she struggled to deal with this new piece of information when she heard someone ascending the steps. Damn it, she thought. She spent so much time in the Owlery because it was usually empty, and now she would have to explain herself to someone. Stubbornly, she looked out the window; perhaps the person would enter, do what they had to, and then leave.
Indeed, it seemed at first that they would do just that; she heard scufflings, but no wingbeats. Why wouldn’t the person just send whatever they had and get on with it? Part of her knew that this was unfair, that the owlery didn’t belong to her, but she couldn’t seem to help it at the moment.
”Hey Lianne,”
Oh, now that was just perfect. Tucker Pence was the last person she needed to be near right now. She’d lost track of how many times she’d tried to make things up to him, but she could never seem to quite get there. Lianne had never hurt anyone before him, and she hadn’t since … well, once, with Puck, but still. The one thing that Lianne hadn’t really portrayed to him was how much it had hurt her to hurt him. She had gone through pure agony for months, thinking of how she must have hurt him, and agonizing over ways to apologize.
Part of her had given up, decided that the timid friendship they’d once had before their doomed relationship would never be restored. Part of her, though … the part that made her Lianne … made her wish that they could be friends again. Besides, maybe this wouldn’t be too bad. He sounded tired, for some reason. There would be no battle today.
She looked away from the window and into his eyes. A stray black curl fell into her eyes, and she made no move to push it away. Hands clasped in front of her, she cocked her head, waited for him to say something further.
"Erm...do you uh...need to talk to someone?" He asked gently.
Lianne raised an eyebrow; why was it that every time she tried to apologize, he got all hot-headed, but when she really needed something … he showed up and acted like golden boy? She was tempted to spurn him, send him away, but the truth was that this was the first move he had made towards her in months. She wouldn’t send him away now.
“I can’t say that I would know how to start,” Lianne said finally, her voice flat. She leaned forward, picked up the wadded ball of paper, and tossed it to him. “My aunt was killed. She was a Deatheater, apparently.” She let out a quick, hoarse laugh and rubbed her forehead with her fingers. “I always try to forget about that side of my family. Dad thought it might’ve died out with my grandparents and my aunt’s marriage.”
She shrugged, slipped off the windowsill. “I guess it didn’t.”
There was something further bothering her, but to give voice to it, to even think it … no, not yet.
Re: A Traitor's Death (ISO Anyone who knows Lianne) 2/3/09
[ooc: I had a feeling you would like Tucker busting in. Haha. I love these too. They're so much fun! I love him being all ego-wounded.]
Lianne didn't respond to Tucker's greeting for a few moments, and he was starting to figure that it would be best if he would just...back away slowly so to say. If she didn't want to talk at the moment, let alone to him, then he better leave. No wait, he better run like hell. Send the letter and run like hell. Because if he didn't send the letter, then he would have two females that were ready to rip his heart out and display it in a jar. Lianne finally looked away from the window, and at him, but she didn't say anything. Well, this was a sufficiently awkward moment. Tucker resumed searching for Hoot, and finally found the owl snoozing toward the top of the Owlery, in one of the highest rafters. Stupid bird. Tucker whistled, and Hoot reluctantly turned his head toward Tucker, weighing if it was completely necessary to leave his comfortable perch to come down and see Tucker.
Once Tucker asked his question, Lianne raised an eyebrow. Get down here Hoot, Tucker thought frantically, because I'm about to get my arse FRIED. Yes, talking to Lianne had definitely been a bad idea. Bad, bad, bad. Now what? Hoot was still looking down at Tucker, but didn't seem very inclined to come down anytime soon. Tucker partially wondered if Hoot did that just to spite Tucker, but then again he had never done anything to the bird to make it hate him. It was always very affectionate and kind toward him when he hadn't just woken up. Maybe that was the catch. Hoot had been sleeping, and didn't like to be woken up. But then again, who DID like getting woken up before they were ready? Tucker couldn't help that Hoot was nocturnal. It wasn't like he could adjust his schedule to make sure he caught his owl when he was awake...
“I can’t say that I would know how to start,” Lianne started to reply. Oh praise Merlin, she wasn't going to bite his head off and kill him! Tucker made a mental note to go a bit easier on her from then on. Well, actually, it was probably a necessity that he would forgive her. How long had it been since then? Well, let's think. September, October, November, December, January, Feb...uary. Well. That was pathetic. Even Tucker had to admit that to himself. It had been a good five months and Tucker was still sore at her. But then again, it was probably one of the first major blows to his ego that he had ever experienced! Marks like that didn't go away too easily. Those were the kinds of things that just left scars. But Tucker needed to move on. It wasn't like he still had feelings for Lianne. But then again that wasn't really the issue ever. It was the fact that she had snogged him and dumped him in the same five minutes. It was...deceitful.
“My aunt was killed. She was a Deatheater, apparently.” Tucker grimaced. That was a rough blow. “I always try to forget about that side of my family. Dad thought it might’ve died out with my grandparents and my aunt’s marriage.” Wait, there was an whole side of Lianne's family that was rotten to the core? Tucker was suddenly happy that his entire family was comprised of muggles. There was good and evil even in the muggle world, but none of them had actually killed anyone. The worst was probably Great Aunt Margie who went klepto in her nursing home. Apparently she had an affinity for other people's dentures. It was embarrassing, but she was old so the Pence family didn't experience any grief for it, luckily. “I guess it didn’t.”
Tucker didn't really know what to say in response to the whole situation. At one side he felt that he was being overly invasive into Lianne's life, but the damage had already been done and she had already told him, so what else could he do? Nothing. "I'm sorry Lianne," Tucker replied, feeling that was the only thing that he could say. "It doesn't define you in any way if that's what you're afraid of," Tucker said with a shrug.
Shooting a glare at Hoot, the owl finally obliged and come down, landing on Tucker's arm. Tucker held out his letter, and Hoot clamped it in his beak, giving Tucker a look of annoyance. "Come on, don't look at me like that. You know mum'll kill me if I don't send a letter every week," Tucker told the bird. "Go on," Tucker said, urging Hoot off of his arm. Hoot took flight, and disappeared out the window. "So uh..." Tucker started once again, unsure of what to say. "Is that all that's bothering you?" That probably wasn't the right thing to say, but you could hardly rely on Tucker to know what to say at what time.
Re: A Traitor's Death (ISO Anyone who knows Lianne) 2/3/09
Lianne knew she had been blunt in her admittance to her aunt’s identity; she wasn’t even really sure why she’d told Tucker in the first place, other than the fact that he was there. But it wasn’t like she would have told anyone who had come up the stairs. Puck, most definitely, now that they had made up – Atticus, possibly – Devon? Would she have told Devon? She didn’t even want him to enter into the equation, but the fact of the matter was, he was turning into a variable.
The thing was, Tucker had asked. He had actually reached out to her, and that was more than she had been gifted with by his royal highness for months. Though she still felt bad for hurting him, she was more angry now. Partly at him, but … mainly at herself. She watched his reaction to her news; a grimace, and something else in those handsome eyes. She wasn’t quite sure what it was.
Lianne wasn’t always sure why she was in Gryffindor; more and more, she was beginning to wonder if maybe she shouldn’t have been. It hadn’t exactly been brave and wonderful to snog him and break up with him all in the same day, let alone the same five minutes. And there were other things entering into things as well.
"I'm sorry Lianne," Tucker replied, feeling that was the only thing that he could say. Of course he was. What else were you supposed to say when you just found out that your ex-girlfriend, ex-friend who had caused you a lot of angst, was half of evil, rotten heritage? It wasn’t exactly what you expected to find out when you went to mail a letter. "It doesn't define you in any way if that's what you're afraid of," Tucker said with a shrug.
“No,” Lianne said softly, “But my actions do.”
She looked out the window again and closed her eyes as she listened to Tucker’s brief exchange with his owl, Hoot. "Come on, don't look at me like that. You know mum'll kill me if I don't send a letter every week," Tucker told the bird. "Go on," Tucker said, urging Hoot off of his arm.
Quite amusing, really. At least she wasn’t the only one who liked to mess up Tucker’s perfect little lifestyle every once in a while. Wait a minute … that was exactly what she feared. This was exactly what Deatheaters lived for; hurting others and enjoying it. Had she really done that? No, she admonished herself. There was no way in hell she had enjoyed hurting Tucker.
However, in a way, she had set out to hurt him, and wasn’t that the first step? Lianne opened her eyes but remained looking out the window as Tucker attempted to speak to her again. This was definitely an awkward situation, but she couldn’t say that she really cared. "So uh..." Tucker started once again, unsure of what to say. "Is that all that's bothering you?"
Her aunt was a Deatheater and was killed, and Lianne’s best friend and older brother had been murdered merely months before. Combined with the remembrance of a certain memory, what else would be bothering her? Oh yes, that was a prize question, to be sure. “You know, my father always used to tell me how like my aunt, I am. I was proud of it. She was a beater, too, you know. Quidditch captain, too; good at school. I’m even named after her.”
She turned away from the window and looked at him. There was emotion on her face, in her eyes, but even she didn’t know what all it was. There was anger, fear, sadness, rage, and possibly more. “I didn’t want to hurt you, Tucker, or Puck,” she said levelly. “But I did. When Tim died, I almost cursed another student when all she tried to do was talk to me. What’s to stop me from snapping?”
Re: A Traitor's Death (ISO Anyone who knows Lianne) 2/3/09“No,” Lianne said softly, “But my actions do.” Tucker remained silent, watching Lianne. What she said was true, so what was Tucker supposed to say? It wasn't like Lianne was out there being a Death Eater. It was her aunt, not her. While some people are quite like their family, Tucker couldn't fathom why Lianne seemed to think that this incident sealed her fate or something. It all came down to the choices, didn't it? Lianne could choose to be a respectable person, or she could choose to become a Death Eater. No one else could write the end of her life story for her.
“You know, my father always used to tell me how like my aunt, I am. I was proud of it. She was a beater, too, you know. Quidditch captain, too; good at school. I’m even named after her.” Tucker swallowed hard. Okay, maybe that was why it was hitting so close to home. But still. It wasn't Lianne's life! Why did she seem to think that she was so condemned? So cornered? So...stuck in a lifestyle that she didn't want to live? It was all ridiculous. Each and every person had control of their own lives. It was astounding to Tucker at how few people actually took advantage of that. Tucker wasn't the prime example of course, but he tried as much as possible to monitor his own feelings and well being. It had just been a bit more difficult to do so recently. He would have to make a point to stop letting other people effect his happiness. Yes, that was a good goal. A late New Years' Resolution so to say.
“I didn’t want to hurt you, Tucker, or Puck,” Lianne continued. Tucker's eyes widened for a moment, but he quickly wiped the shocked look off of his face. That was one way to fuel Lianne's flame. “But I did. When Tim died, I almost cursed another student when all she tried to do was talk to me. What’s to stop me from snapping?” Tucker let out a sigh and ran a hand through his hair, a traditional sign of either confusion, frustration, or ego. At the moment, it was confusion.
"What's to stop you from snapping?" Tucker asked, repeating Lianne's questions. Oh great, that sounded like he was mocking her. Not wanting her to get the wrong impression, Tucker continued on quickly. "YOU can stop yourself." Tucker paused for a few moments, trying to organize his thoughts, but also giving Lianne some time to soak in what Tucker had said. Hopefully she would get the picture from it. "I mean, you may be like your aunt, but you don't make the same decisions as she does. You don't live a parallel life to her." Tucker took two steps toward Lianne so there wasn't such an awkward, large gap in between them. Tucker also felt the need to add that she didn't hurt him, but that would be lying, and Lianne would see right through it. But what could Tucker say? It DID hurt. Even if they were only dating for, what, a month-ish or less. Yeah, it still hurt.
"As long as you know what you want to do, just do it. Don't do things that, well, you don't want to do," Tucker explained, trying to sound philosophical and smart, but failing miserably. The words to express himself just weren't coming at the current moment. Maybe that was a good sign to turn around and bail...
Re: A Traitor's Death (ISO Anyone who knows Lianne) 2/3/09
Maybe it sounded silly to him, everything that she was saying. Lianne knew that everybody had a choice, that they didn’t have to be defined by their heritage. She wished, sometimes, that she had a heritage that she could be proud of, but for that, she had always had her brother. Now, she was forging her own way. She was the beginning of a new line.
It was a scary thought, but it was true. Years from now, if she was lucky enough to find someone who would put up with her, her descendants would talk about her as the first one to break the mould. Lianne would be the beginning of, hopefully, a family without Slytherins and cruelty. Though this didn’t voice itself in her brain exactly like that, the essence was there, and it scared her. She could either be the beginning or fall into place and be a continuation.
She didn’t want to be that person, but she’d begun to scare herself this year. Before this year, she had never really hurt anyone. That was why she was a Prefect, for Merlin’s sake. She used to be fair, just, a good student; she still kept her grades up, though it had been difficult after her steep decline after Tim’s death. She used to be a bit scary, it was true, but simply because she was so odd. But this year, everything had changed. She had hurt the first boy to have a crush on her, her first boyfriend and her best friend. Besides, she couldn’t forget how she had almost hexed Fyora. The girl had only been trying to help, and Lianne might have killed her. She didn’t know how it had started, but she knew she wanted it to stop. She just wasn’t sure how.
"What's to stop you from snapping?"
What good would just repeating the question do? Well … it hadn’t really been fair to ask him in the first place. After all, they hadn’t even been talking for months, and then he had come to mail a letter and she had lain everything on him. How fair was that?
"YOU can stop yourself."
I wish I could, she wanted to say, but she didn’t know how to say that without sounding like a whiny bitch. She knew that she should have control over her own life, and for years she had believed in that, but it seemed like every day, more control slipped from her fingers.
"I mean, you may be like your aunt, but you don't make the same decisions as she does. You don't live a parallel life to her." She didn’t say anything as he stepped towards her, though her mind whirled with confusion and crisis. "As long as you know what you want to do, just do it. Don't do things that, well, you don't want to do,"
“I know that,” Lianne said after a few moments. “I know that I have control of my own life. I’ve known myself – corny as it sounds – better than most people know themselves for years. You knew that.” She brushed the curl out of her eyes and crossed her arms. It wasn’t a defiant gesture, more defensive. Not against him – she didn’t care if he hurt her – but against everything else. For one of the first times in her life, Lianne was well and truly scared. “But it doesn’t explain what I did. I kept feeling over the past year like I did what I had to do, that I had no choice. Trying to justify it, I guess.” She sighed, looked down at the ground. She knew that if he saw the tears that tried to leave her eyes, he would probably hightail it out of there. Lianne was known for not crying.
“But I did it anyway. Before this year, I would’ve hated myself, would’ve hurt myself, embarrassed myself, before I did anything like I did to you guys. I think I just feel like I’m falling down a muddy slope; I have no idea how to stop, and I don’t want to reach the bottom.”
I’m scared, she wanted to say. But what could he do? If it were Puck, or even Atticus, she knew that she would get some sort of physical connection from them, maybe even an embrace, but it was far too much to expect that from Tucker. Merlin, she missed Tim. Just knowing that there was someone out there that would have dropped everything to come to her.
OOC: ... when I started this thread, I did not see Lianne's whole crisis happening. O.o Finally, another plotline for her ... and one that doesn't have to do with romance. XD
Re: A Traitor's Death (ISO Anyone who knows Lianne) 2/3/09
Lainne paused for a few moments before actually responding. Tucker was desperately wondering what he had gotten himself into by asking her what was wrong. But still, it felt like the right thing to do. And he had a lot of lost time to make up, being Lianne's friend. They did have some personal issues that would probably never be worked out, but Tucker couldn't forget that he and Lianne had once been friends, and right now, it seemed like Lianne really needed one to be there with her. “I know that,” Lianne. Okay, then what was the problem? Tucker kept his mouth shut, however, and waited for Lianne to continue. “I know that I have control of my own life. I’ve known myself – corny as it sounds – better than most people know themselves for years. You knew that.” Wait. Tucker knew? How did he know? She hadn't really dont much to show him that, what with snogging him when she really meant to break up with him. Talk about mixed signals.
“But it doesn’t explain what I did. I kept feeling over the past year like I did what I had to do, that I had no choice. Trying to justify it, I guess.” Lianne sighed and looked down at the ground. Merlin, she looked like one of those big-eyed lost puppies that hadn't eaten in days! It was impossible to not feel sorry for her, but Tucker was still feeling a bit sorry for himself. How selfish could he be? Apparently that fault was endless in him. Oh well, as long as he didn't openly express it, no one had to know right? Well, hopefully he didn't openly express it. He couldn't help it if it just slipped out on accident. But that didn't mean he wouldn't have to pay for it afterwards anyways. He would hope things never came to that.
“But I did it anyway. Before this year, I would’ve hated myself, would’ve hurt myself, embarrassed myself, before I did anything like I did to you guys. I think I just feel like I’m falling down a muddy slope; I have no idea how to stop, and I don’t want to reach the bottom.” Tucker still had absolutely no idea what to say. He wasn't the advice person. Puck was. He would have to channel Puck's thoughts...think like Puck.
"Circumstances change," Tucker answered lamely. That was a bad impression of Puck's advice. But really, what was he supposed to say? "Maybe stop making excuses for your actions and figure out what you're really trying to do," Tucker said. Oh man. That was harsh. But it was true, wasn't it? She obviously subconsciously wanted something, but was covering her actions up with excuses and excuses. "And think about what you're doing before you do anything. If you always jump blindly into things, then, well, you never knew where you're gonna wind up." There. That was good enough.
"And uh...that's all I've got," Tucker said, finishing with a "bang". Smiling sheepishly, Tucker continued. "Sorry, I'm not so great with advice. I get credit for trying though, right?"
Re: A Traitor's Death (ISO Anyone who knows Lianne) 2/3/09
OOC: Brief PG language.
"Circumstances change," Tucker answered lamely.
Lianne smiled; a tiny one, but it was still there. Yes, circumstances did change. She’d gone from thinking that her family was okay, that they would manage to pull through, to finding out that her brother had been killed in the line of duty and her aunt had been killed supposedly from a change of heart. From what she knew about Deatheaters, you did or died. There was no turning back once you had become one.
She wished that her uncle had been there to stop them. But really, what good would that have done? He probably couldn’t have done anything. Lianne didn’t know her aunt that well. She’d met her once, maybe twice that she could remember. So she wasn’t exactly sure why this was hitting her so hard. It could have been the fact that, little by little, her family was being whittled away. But no, that shouldn’t matter; it wasn’t like her father was suddenly going to get hit by a bus, and her mother … well, Lianne didn’t know where she was. She hadn’t seen her for years, or heard from her.
Lianne was scared that circumstances WOULD change, as they had been over the last year. She didn’t want to hurt anyone anymore, and she didn’t want to be alone. And there were days where she felt so terribly alone, despite all the people in class with her and chatting with her in the hallways. No, she wasn’t scared. She was terrified.
She did, however, feel bad for putting Tucker in this position. Honestly, they hadn’t talked for months, and now, just because he chose this time to mail a letter, he ended up in an uncomfortable situation that he would probably do almost anything to get out of. “Maybe stop making excuses for your actions and figure out what you're really trying to do," Tucker said.
Oh, fucking Merlin, didn’t he know that’s what she was trying to do? It seemed like all he ever told her was to stop making excuses; well, if he wanted her to do that, then he should stop moping around and being angry at her just because she’d made a fucking mistake.
She blinked. When had she ever been so vulgar? Things were just getting worse. Besides, tears were fighting to break loose, and she didn’t want them to. Not yet, anyway. Not until she was alone. She didn’t want the Great Tucker Pence, Golden Boy, to see Lianne break down and cry. With her luck, he’d see it as another fu – bloody excuse.
"And think about what you're doing before you do anything. If you always jump blindly into things, then, well, you never knew where you're gonna wind up."
Oh yes, it was so easy just for him to say it. But had he ever been in a situation where he felt like he was losing control? It was like she was driving a car and the brakes weren’t working, and the steering wheel kept slipping out of her hands. She knew he was right, she did, but she couldn’t help but feel like that was what she was trying to do. It helped a little bit, she supposed, to hear it from someone else.
Lianne had always been cautious. She never used to leap before she looked. Truth be told, she supposed that she’d gotten caught up with the rush of it. And now look where it had gotten her. She was turning into a crude, cruel young woman. These were supposed to be the years that shaped her life; it felt like playdough. You could never quite mould it into the shape you wanted.
"And uh...that's all I've got," Tucker said, finishing with a "bang". Smiling sheepishly, Tucker continued. "Sorry, I'm not so great with advice. I get credit for trying though, right?"
That was the thing. He had tried. And that was definitely more than she’d expected from him. Pulling her hair away from her face, she ignored the fact that she felt hot and flushed and glanced over at him. “You don’t give yourself enough credit. You tried, with someone who you aren’t exactly fond of, and I think you did help.” She looked out the window, letting a breeze cool her face.
“Congratulations, by the way,” she said, forcing herself to try and think of something else. “You and Cory. I seem to remember that I once had to distract her from stabbing you with cutlery.” Of course, that had been when she and Tucker had been a ‘couple’. She remembered that day. Their first day back at Hogwarts. He’d kissed her on the cheek as he came to a table. What would have happened if she actually had ended up liking him? Would they still have broken up? Would he still be with Cory right now?
It didn’t matter. “So how long did it take before she realized that you weren’t just tormenting her and that you actually did care?” It was an honest question, said in the manner it was meant to be thought of as; despite what he might think, Lianne did still care about Tucker, and she always would. That was one part of her that would never change.
Re: A Traitor's Death (ISO Anyone who knows Lianne) 2/3/09“You don’t give yourself enough credit. You tried, with someone who you aren’t exactly fond of, and I think you did help,” Lianne said, still looking out the window. Wait, he got credit for trying? Here he thought Lianne was going to be made at him for telling her to stop make excuses. Maybe she was mad, she just wasn't in the mood to show it. And risk having another row with Tucker when this was the most civil conversation they had had since, oh, December. And that conversation had only been partially civil. Lianne trying to work things out, Tucker trying to negotiate, but finding out that he was still severely pissed off at how she had acted. It wasn't that easy to forgive someone for "casually" breaking your heart. If only Lianne could realize that. She was the first girl to actually break Tucker's heart by breaking up with him. The second was Cory. For not taking him back. Man he was on a roll that year.
“Congratulations, by the way,” Lianne said, evidently changing the subject. Tucker quirked a brow and watched her, waiting to find out what he had received the kudos for. “You and Cory. I seem to remember that I once had to distract her from stabbing you with cutlery.” At that, Tucker couldn't help but let out a laugh. Yes indeed, the first day back at Hogwarts, and the first day Tucker and Lianne were together for that matter, Cory nearly pinned Tucker's hand to the Gryffindor table with a knife. A very sharp and probably painful knife. Lucky for Tucker, he never found out how it felt. Lianne came in and engaged in conversation with Cory before she could dismember Tucker in any way. Oh man. That was a good memory. Even if things didn't end so well with Lianne, at least he had some memories like that to hold on to. “So how long did it take before she realized that you weren’t just tormenting her and that you actually did care?”
Tucker laughed again. "Oh um, probably until I actually stopped tormenting her and showed her that I cared." Thinking for a while, Tucker counted out the months. "That would mean about the end of November. Would have been beginning, but certain issues with Trey Jennings kind of got in the way. He and Cory had developed a "thing" and I caught him snogging Armand D'Angelo when he was pissed off his arse," Tucker explained. Why was he telling Lianne all of this? Oh why not? She had told him about her aunt, about how she feared that she was losing control. He could share a little bit of juicy details regarding his love life. Then again someone like Tucker, who prided himself in always having a love life, was never very reluctant to hand out the facts and details. Hey, it was his job to inform the public, right? Spread his name, spread his fame. "And then I punched him and Cory got mad at me for it. Lover, not a fighter apparently," Tucker finished ironically with a wry grin. Cory was ANYTHING but.
Tucker was thinking about returning the question, and realized that he was actually intriqued to know. Maybe he could play match maker for Lianne? Wait. Hold on, there Tuck. The last time he had tried to play match maker, he had ended up pinned against the wall of this very Owlery with his soul about to be ripped out of his body by Alex Summerlin. Apparently she hadn't wanted to be made up with Devon in that kind of way. Judgement error on Tucker's part. Especially when he actually came into the Owlery laughing it off. As Tucker was sworn to secrecy, he had kept his mouth shut about it. He really didn't want to die before he had even reached his eighteenth birthday. It would be a sad, sad existence. Even if he wasn't going to play match maker though, he could still ask about Lianne, right?
"What about you, Lianne?" He inquired casually, making his way over to the side of the Owelry so he could casually lean up against the stone wall. "Found a Prince Charming that's willing to slip into tights and take you on a date?"
Re: A Traitor's Death (ISO Anyone who knows Lianne) 2/3/09
Lianne was happy to realize that she could still make someone laugh; at least that was still intact. Not that she had ever exactly been the life of the party, but Lianne had her moments, particularly among friends. Besides, to make Tucker chuckle after everything they had gone through, that was definitely a rather large accomplishment. It was good to see, too, that he could remember things about the two of them with joy as well as sorrow. They had had their moments.
When she asked him how long it had taken before Cory had actually taken him seriously, he laughed again, causing her to crack a smile. This was turning out better than she had hoped. "Oh um, probably until I actually stopped tormenting her and showed her that I cared." "That would mean about the end of November. Would have been beginning, but certain issues with Trey Jennings kind of got in the way. He and Cory had developed a "thing" and I caught him snogging Armand D'Angelo when he was pissed off his arse," Tucker explained.
Lianne raised an eyebrow. How could she have missed all of this? All this hullabaloo going on right under her nose, and she’d been completely unaware. It would seem that she could’ve been in on a lot of entertainment in those months. “Let me guess,” Lianne said, taking a moment to draw out her thoughts. “You became her knight in shining armour and clobbered the bastard?”
Oh yes, Cory would’ve taken that … well, Lianne wasn’t really sure. She didn’t have much to do with the older girl, though they were acquaintances. She did know her personality, however. Who couldn’t? Cory was Queen Lioness. And, Lianne admitted, she had been rather chuffed when the older girl had suggested that Lianne might be the one with the Head Girl badge next year. It was probably an impossible dream, but Lianne relished it all the same.
"And then I punched him and Cory got mad at me for it. Lover, not a fighter apparently," Tucker finished ironically with a wry grin.
Lianne laughed. “Thought so.” Of course, that still didn’t explain what Tucker had done to get Cory’s attention back after that, but she couldn’t exactly ask now, could she? Despite the fact that this was causing the tension to drain from her rapidly, she knew that she couldn’t expect Tucker to share any more than that. Though, come to think of it, he’d seemed almost joyful as he said it. Perhaps Tucker actually enjoyed sharing the gossip about his love life. But with her? That was the surprising thing.
"What about you, Lianne?"
Lianne turned her head to look at him as he made his way to the side of the Owlery and leaned nonchalantly against the stone wall. What did he mean by that? He didn’t mean … did he?
"Found a Prince Charming that's willing to slip into tights and take you on a date?"
He did mean it. An image of Atticus immediately popped into her head, and the smile that had maintained a place on her face faded away. She had to get over the fact that the person she did like – no, she’d come to realize that she loved him – was determined just to be friends with her. He would see what he wanted to see, and if that was friendship, then she would give him that.
It was time to let Atticus go. So she allowed herself one last look at him in her mind, and then pushed the image gently aside. “Not really,” she said, smiling at Tucker. Then she recalled one of her favourite movies, and continued, “But there’s the dream of someone. It’s just not a dream that’s going to come true.” She crossed her arms and cocked her head slightly. “It’s – he’s the same person who – well, he’s been on my mind for the past year.” And, in a way, the person who had caused their break-up. Sort of. “That’s not going to happen, I get that now.”
She glanced down, then back at him. “Of course, there’s … there’s sort of someone that I think might, just maybe, be willing to go somewhere with me, and I like him, too. But I’m not sure … it’s all very confusing, really. But I don’t know for sure. Damn, I said that already,” she muttered to herself. With an apologetic smile, she shrugged. “Doesn’t exactly live up to the same level of excitement as your tales, I’m afraid. My love life is pathetic.”
Part of her wondered if he would press her for details, if he would ask her who the person had been. Part of her wished she would, but then yet another part of her wondered what she would say if he did. Could she really admit something like that to Tucker? She’d told Puck, yes, but … well … she wasn’t sure.
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