June 1st - June 19th
It's almost summer! The last few weeks of school have come, and students will need to study hard for their final exams! Don't let up yet, or your grades won't be what you want them to. Of course, the weather is almost perfect and pristine, in attempts to lure students away from their studies.
::Can't Touch This:: -- The Diary of Sir Tucker Pence
Who could ever be more unlikely to have a diary than me, SIR Tucker Pence? Yeah, that's pretty much no one. Which is exactly why this diary is under extreme privacy protection. Anyone who reads that pages that isn't me? Their eyes may just fall out of their head. Or melt. Not really sure what the jinx does quite yet. I guess I'll find out when someone tries to read it, not that that's a comforting thought. Don't hold ME responsible though. If you're reading these pages, it's your fault for being a nosy git. So don't turn the page unless you want to be blind in a very painful fashion.
Re: ::Can't Touch This:: -- The Diary of Sir Tucker Pence
August 1, 2008
Dear...er...journal...book...thing,
So...I've been ordered by my LOVELY (or not) Mother to write in a journal. Yes, me, the masculine Tucker Pence writing in a journal. I wish I were kidding. But I'm not. I promised her I would write at least one entry in this stupid thing. And she said I have to properly introduce myself so when I look back in twenty years I can see who I was at age 16. Really, I think she's trying to make me some sort of Nancy Boy.
Anyways, the name's Tucker. My hobbies include snogging in broom closets and hooking up with random girls. That's about it. Well, I guess you can't exactly call it hooking up with random girls because none of them have really been random. Except for one girl but I'm not going to talk about that since she currently hates me with a fiery passion that's hot enough to burn the entire world. But I maintain that that mere occasion was random whether she (unnamed female who hates me) will admit it or not. Anyways it's not exactly random. I mean, I actually DO like most of them before I date them. It's not my fault that I may like a different girl every week.
But now the only one is Lianne Apsey. And I just so happen to have a date to the Haunted Harbour with her in two days. Three cheers for Tucker. Scoring yet ANOTHER date. Should be interesting. Everything about Apsey is absolutely adorable. Even her minor little speech impediment. She's a bit tall for a girl, but I don't really care anymore. I owled her a couple of days ago about going on a date and she agreed very quickly. Almost like she had been waiting for it ever since she met me or something. Who knows. I don't. I'll make a point to find out though.
Anyways I'm going to end here, close this book, and burn it to pieces so I never have to write in it again. Hopefully my mom won't find out that I did. We'll see...
Re: ::Can't Touch This:: -- The Diary of Sir Tucker Pence
August 4, 2008
Dear...you.
Yes. Writing again. I know it's a huge shocker. Sometimes I just totally and utterly disgust myself. Right now is one of those times.
So. I had my date with Lianne. How did it go? Ask me. I dare you to.
Pretty good. Scale from one to ten, maybe a 7. But she invited Puck Goodfellow to come along. Yes, PUCK! She invited her to chaperone or something since she seemingly doesn't trust my reputation. But what can I say? Every guy's got a black mark on his record some how. I guess snogging girls is one of the things that taints mine. Who knows. I would think that experience would be a good thing, but maybe to some people it's only to a certain extent.
But I kissed her. On the top of the ferris wheel. Sad thing is I tried to snog her too and she told me to back off. You'll be the only one I admit this to, of course. But I've never been...rejected like that before. It was a really strange feeling for me. Almost...too strange. I don't know how long I can hold out on a no-snogging thing. But I'm still crazy for the girl. I think I may ask her to be my girlfriend on the train. Which given that this is me, that's a long ways from now to like just one girl. Almost too far away. Maybe I should fit some random hook-ups in between. With some of the pretty muggle girls that live down the street. Just to, you know, pass time.
Since I'm completely bored right now (It's pouring rain outside. It's supposed to be the summer. Why should it RAIN in the summer?!) I'll do some descriptions of people at Hogwarts.
Lianne Apsey- Of course you've heard about her already. Tall with dark curly hair, a pretty face, and an adorable speech impediment which makes her say her r's like w's. My hopeful future girlfriend. Why do I say hopeful? I mean my future girlfriend. Of course she'll say yes if I ask her out.
Puck Goodfellow- For some reason, the girl tolerates me. Just as a personal observation she tends to hate guys like me. The kind that are always with a different girl each week...change them fast than underwear if you know what I mean. But she's nice enough and she and I are friends. She's just not my favorite chaperone. Unless a famous Quidditch player that she admires is within the vicinity...
Cory Weiss- This girl HATES me with a burning passion. And it's almost...attractively so. She really is cute when she gets her panties in a twist, which of course only inspires me to twist away...
Oh, Merlin! Amber Jenkins is outside in the rain with her little friend Casey Monahan. Never thought I would say it, but I think I may be going out for a walk in the rain...
Re: ::Can't Touch This:: -- The Diary of Sir Tucker Pence
September 1, 2008
Dear...book.
So, been a while since my last entry, hasn't it? Well, it would have been much longer, but my mom made me promise once more to write in my journal after the first day back. Which has been a pretty good day back, I've got to admit, so it won't be a half bad entry.
In the morning I got on the train, sat in the Prefects compartment, and who to show up but Lianne? Next thing I know, I'm asking her out, and she's saying yes. So that's right. Lianne and I are official now. And I have a good feeling about this one. Honestly, I do. It's not going to be just another week-long thing like I usually have. At least, I hope it won't be.
Then at the Welcoming Feast I had a high old time provoking Cory. Merlin, that girl is...what's a word to describe her without sounding like I'm smashed over her... Er...Outrageously Intriguing? Yes, that's a good one. She got rather violent though, and I realize now that had Lianne not stepped into the conversation, I would have gotten a dinner knife wedged in between my ribs. That would have been a painful thing to explain to the nurse on the first day back at school.
So for right now, I guess that's it. Not gonna write later, so don't wait around for me.
Re: ::Can't Touch This:: -- The Diary of Sir Tucker Pence
September 4, 2008
Dear...you,
Okay, I know I said I wouldn't write again, but I realized that I need SOMEWHERE to write down my frustrations. Since I already have enough of a reputation for being a snog-o-holic, I figured it wouldn't be very smart to express my feelings to real, concrete people. So here goes.
LIANNE. WON'T. SNOG. At all. I've been entirely, 100% cut off. As much as I don't want to over exaggerate the improtance of snogging in my life...oh forget that.
I'M GOING TO DIE!
I'm going to wither away into NOTHING. Thank Merlin I had that little summer fling with Amber three weeks ago, or else I would want to commit suicide with a broomstick. Yes, a broomstick.
SOMEBODY SAVE ME! I already feel the life draining out of me through my fingers...
Maybe I'll write later, if I still feel starved of what I need most in life.
Re: ::Can't Touch This:: -- The Diary of Sir Tucker Pence
September 8, 2008
Dear You,
Lianne dumped me. She dumped me. I...I don't know but...she dumped me. I've NEVER been dumped before, but SHE DUMPED ME! AFTER SNOGGING ME!!!!! Yes, the self-focused little bitch met me in an abandoned classroom, snogged me, and then DUMPED me!
I can't think straight right now. We had a bit of a row afterwards, and I can't really remember what I said. Merlin, my head hurts. I'll write later when I don't feel like I've been chucked off of the Astronomy tower.
Re: ::Can't Touch This:: -- The Diary of Sir Tucker Pence
September 15, 2008
Dear Book,
I hate being a teenager. Seriously, I hate it more than anything. I would rather eat brussel sprouts while sitting on a giant stage naked in front of the entire wizarding world than be a teenager for another day. Sadly that's not an option. If it were? Bring on the brussels and the nudity. Talk about a better option then living with effing hormones and relationships and fights and...bugger it all. Basically I'm still upset that Lianne dumped me.
At least I'm not the only one suffering. It seemed like Puck was having a pretty hard time too. But get this. She and Servil snogged. Last year. In a broom closet. Puck and Damien Servil! I was practically speechless when she told me. I didn't know what to say. It didn't make sense. It was just...sick. And she was completely upset that he up and left without saying anything, and I didn't have the slightest idea as to how to console a crying girl and...well, it was somewhat interesting if I must say so myself.
And then after that, lucky me, I ran into Noah Sterling, the bloody 5th year prat. And he was pretty much spooning with a first year on the couch. It was a sickening sight, so I made a comment about it, and next thing I know, the kid (who's gotta have a temper fuse about an inch long) was getting all in my face and threatening me, and being the complete ass that he is. And he tried to attack me, but there was good old Puck petrifying him. And then there was yelling and screaming and, Merlin it was bloody annoying. I still have a pounding headache from it all.
Then who to show up other than Lianne? And she tried to shove herself into it, hurt Puck's feelings, we threw some verbal daggers at each other, and then, yep, you guessed it. Cory showed up. She came down in the Common Room, pissed beyond belief, yelled, lectured, and scolded us, then sentenced us to silence in our dormitories.
Well, everyone but me. She held me back for a bit to make sure I was all right. Since when has she cared? I mean, I'll definitely remember that she DID care for once and let it show on the record that she wanted to talk to ME, and not the other way around.
But still, bugger it all. It all sucks. I got dumped a week ago, I consoled a crying girl and realized I was totally incapable to handle such situations, nearly got in a fist-fight, and then had a sit-down talking session with Cory who is starting to make me feel really...odd. I thought that these feelings for her were completely gone, but now I don't know.
Re: ::Can't Touch This:: -- The Diary of Sir Tucker Pence
September 16, 2008
Dear You,
Bugger I hate little kids. Okay, so Devon Singer isn't exactly little, but he's a year younger. So I still claim the right to call him little. But they're all just so annoying. And they make me want to cast a silencing hex on them. Or bind and gag them in a chair in front of the common room fire. Somehow the latter sounds more satisfying.
So while I was running away from Filch this morning, I ran into Devon Singer, who apparently is a fan of hiding in abandoned classrooms and befriending dust bunnies or something like that. And he asked me to arm wrestle him. And I should have beaten him. I so could have, but for some reason his damn arm wouldn't budge. So it was a draw.
And then somehow he got onto this bet about how if I was completely secure with my masculinity, I wouldn't be afraid to, say, hit on another guy. Um. Right. Like that's going to prove anything. But oh well. I ended up accepting the bet, and I have to hit on Trey Jennings, Takahiro Konomi, and get this. Jake Mitchell. Yeah, the DADA Professor. Is Devon COMPLETELY out of his mind? Yeah, he's gotta have a screw loose or SOMETHING. That's the only explanation for all of this.
But I still got my fair share out of it. He's gotta hit on Lucian Bishop, Bryce King, and get this. Alex Summerlin. Yeah, so I threw in a girl here. But here's the catch. I swear Alex HAS to have something for Devon, and I mean, they're best friends. Maybe I'll go down in history as the Hogwarts match maker. You never know, and I'm a bit interested to find out.
Still though... I am NOT looking forward to hitting on guys, let alone my DADA Professor.
Re: ::Can't Touch This:: -- The Diary of Sir Tucker Pence
October 2, 2008
Dear Book,
Merlin. I hit on a GUY today. I am never going to be emotionally clean again. SERIOUSLY.
I finished hitting on Taka today. I admit it was kind of funny because honestly, the kid must have wet his pants by the end of it. I scared the living hell out of him. Don't think he's ever been hit on buy a guy before, much less a guy like me, who is known to be straight. At least I hope I'm known to be straight. If I'm known to be gay now, well, I'll just have to kill Devon.
At least I got to push Devon into the fountain. That was my highlight of the whole experience. But then he pulled this "Didn't know you liked to see boys wet" crap and I had to run away. I swear to Merlin I'm gonna have to kill that kid some day. I'll have to make it painfully slow too...
Two more tasks. Just two more tasks. That's it and I'm finished and home free.
Re: ::Can't Touch This:: -- The Diary of Sir Tucker Pence
October 18, 2008
Dear You,
So. Guess what...you. I finally have a date to the Masque. And no, it's not someone that you would generally expect, because she's just one of my friends. Yes, I asked Puck Goodfellow, my official sob-story buddy, to the Masque. And I don't regret it. In fact, I'm kind of glad. I know that there is no way in hell that Cory will go to the Masque with me. Not after...after what happened. You don't know about that do you? I guess I might as well tell the whole story from the start.
Last year I was a newly appointed Prefect, and Cory was a sixth year Prefect, meaning we both had access to places like the Prefects Lounge and the Prefects Bathroom. And this one day, we happened to meet up in the Prefects Lounge.
So for a while it was just some lighthearted teasing, and then it turned into some sort of battle of the wills. I wanted to kiss her, but refused to be the one to make the move just for fun, and I guess she was doing the same on the other side. It went on for quite some time actually, before I finally won (yes, I maintain that I one even though she insisted that she did) and we ended up snogging in the Prefects Lounge. Afterwards, just because I knew it would piss her off, I got up, went to the door and made to leave. She never thinks very highly of kiss and run people. But right before I left, I asked her to Hogsmeade, but she said maybe next time and then slammed the door in my face.
Yeah, I deserved the door part for kiss and running. But then I started thinking about it, and I guess I even got a bit...intimidated. I mean, most girls that I had ever dated were dependent little prisses. The ones that completely fall all over you and you don't even have to try. With Cory, I had to try. I had to try bloody beat my brain out to get just one kiss. And I guess I wasn't quite emotionally ready for it. I was a prat.
The next day Amanda Collins came into the picture, and then Cory walked in on me snogging her in an empty classroom. It was...a painful experience. But now Cory hates me. And now I can't get anything out of her. I can't get her to talk to me, nothing, unless I completely provoke her. Which is probably why I do it so much. Just because I miss her, I do. I used to have a lot of fun just teasing and joking around with her. But it's completely gone now.
Back to the present, I was feeling all mopey about that, and I found Puck and was telling her about it, and finally decided to ask her to the Masque for her birthday, and then give her some great present since it's her Sweet Sixteen. Hopefully it will make her stop thinking about that stupid Servil prat.
Anyways, that's about it for now. I'll write later.
Re: ::Can't Touch This:: -- The Diary of Sir Tucker Pence
October 30, 2008
Bloody hell, I feel sick. I just tried to make the apology of my life to Cory, and she didn't seem to even give it a second thought. She's never going to forgive me. Ever. And even worse, I think she's dating Trey Jennings. My life is over. I officially and completely hate myself.
Re: ::Can't Touch This:: -- The Diary of Sir Tucker Pence
October 30, 2008
Um...well...after that entry I was down in the Prefects Lounge -- got locked in by Peeves, the nasty bugger. But I got locked in with Cory. Yeah, after I basically threw my heart out on the ground and had her walk away from me, I ran into her. But the strange thing is, she was being insanely friendly to me. I really think I may be making progress. Maybe she will learn to forgive me after all. I mean, I know what I did was bad, but it wasn't worth castration and the death sentence like Cory seemed to think, right?
Right. Why do I even ask a book questions? I think I need to see a shrink. So they can ask me how I feel about that. And then I can feel even more ridiculous than I do right now.
Okay now I'm really going to bed. I'll write later.
Re: ::Can't Touch This:: -- The Diary of Sir Tucker Pence
October 31, 2008
Happy Halloween! Oh bloody hell, I'm losing it. I just told a BOOK Happy Halloween. Like a book is really going to respond and give me good tidings to a great Halloween as well. Or even respond to anything I'm saying at all. Having a journal is utterly worthless, you know, but oh well. I'm too bloody happy to care.
Ask me why.
I dare you.
Oh come on, you know you want to.
Fine. I'll tell you.
The Halloween Masque was tonight. Puck and I went together as pirates (Argh, ye mateys!) and we met up, I gave her part of her birthday present, we sat and talked for a while...and then there was this really weird all-magic black out. But it only lasted for a few minutes. A lot of people were really panicking though and some even lost parts of their costumes. Forgive me for laughing. But then...then I saw Cory. And guess what she dressed as. Just guess.
A STRIPPER.
Well, at least I think she was a stripper. She was wearing a leather costume that showed so much skin that it didn't leave much for the imagination. That's the way, uh huh, uh huh, I like it, uh huh, uh huh. Um...anyways. Well, maybe she wasn't a stripper. I mean, that outfit would have been pretty hard to get off in an attractive manner. Trust me, I watched her and I analyzed how long it would take to get it off. My estimate is forty seven seconds by herself. Twenty nine with help. My help preferably.
But yeah, I saw her, I liked what I saw, and I gave her a rose and asked her to dance. And she said yes, as long as there were no dirty intentions behind it. Oh come on, like she can say that when she's wearing negative clothing. Who knew where Trey had gone off too, I just know I didn't care. I was personally hoping he flushed himself down the toilet on accident and wouldn't be returning for a couple of hours. Once he crawled out of the sewage.
I really think it might be working though. Getting Cory back on good terms with me, I mean. She danced with me, right? She's been being civil to me, right? Which is why I feel so damn good. Nothing can shake this feeling. Nothing. I like Cory. I really, really, REALLY like her. And bloody Trey is NOT going to get in my way.
Re: ::Can't Touch This:: -- The Diary of Sir Tucker Pence
November 5, 2008
Bloody fucking hell. I thought I was done with this. I THOUGHT I WAS DONE! Why does the world hate me? Whenever I make any progress to make Cory forgive me, something else happens to make her just hate me again! I keep getting sent back to square one and I just don't understand it! It doesn't make any sense! I just... I just don't bloody know what to do. It's to the point where I just want to give up because I want to be able to feel normal again. Not like I'm some grotesque vegetable, stuffed in a blender set on frappe.
Cory hates me again. Why? Because I beat the bloody shit out of Trey. Why? Because I walked in on him bloody snogging Armand D'Angelo! He was cheating on Cory with ANOTHER GUY! We can ignore the fact that he was completely drunk off of his ass, but all the same. If he really cared about Cory, he wouldn't have done that. Trust me, I know. So I lost control and punched him. And it started a huge fight at Armand's birthday party, the teachers ended up breaking in, and I'm in detention for basically the rest of my life. Fantastic.
But the worst part is that Cory hates me. I have no idea what to do. All I know is that I need to stop getting so high and then so low all the bloody time. It's messing with my head. In a very, very bad way.
And this is stupid. I'm never writing in this bloody book again. I'm throwing it in the fire the minute I finish this entry. Diaries are for LOSERS.
Re: ::Can't Touch This:: -- The Diary of Sir Tucker Pence
November 23, 2008
Dear...thing.
So, you know how I said I was never going to write again? Hehe...well. We all know how long that lasts. Except I seriously was considering having a ritualistic burning of you after my last entry. Ripping out each page piece by piece and burning them in the Common Room fire, singing tribal melodies with my eyes closed, waving around inscence. But uh...why am I telling you this? Next thing I know, I'll wake up and my journal will e trying to eat my face off in the middle of the night. Lock the curtains. A mad diary is on a rampage.
Anyways, the point of my entry. Cory came and talked to me today, and apologized for blaming the whole Trey incident on me. There was a lot more to it than that, but I'll skip the formalities and get to the good part. I asked her to go on a walk with me, so we were out in the Courtyard. And Merlin, she looked so GORGEOUS. Spinning around under the fallen snow...
So I asked her if I could kiss her. I heard once that that was the way to a girl's heart. Asking her before locking lips. Because then it makes them feel like you're considerate and admirable...all those good things. But beyond that, I didn't want to get my head bashed into the frozen fountain. But then she said yes and we started kissing... I KISSED Cory!
I KISSED CORY!!!
Okay, again. Kissed Cory times two since I kissed her last year too. But still, after all the hoops I've jumped through, everything I've had to do to get her to even talk to me... Talk about a rush.
And she invited me home for break. She bloody invited me to come home with her. Double score in one night.
Except one minor issue. Um...meeting the parents? I've never done that whole deal before. Never in my life. What if her dad sneaks Veritaserum into my drink one night and starts asking me all these questions about my personal life? Urgh the whole thought of it makes me scared. But I told her yes, I told her I would go. How could I not? Oh man, this is going to be...not interesting. That's not a strong enough word. Scary as hell? Well, that's good. But what I'm looking for more is...hmm.
Monumental. That's it. This is going to be bloody monumental.
Really don't want to write later, but I know I probably will so...
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