Crystal War-Prolouge
Crystal War is a registered trademark of DarkWizardmon and MegaWargreymon Story Enterprises. It is a copyrighted story and is not to be used in any way other than for entertainment. The story is not to be re-made or copied and passed on as someone's own work except by the workers of DarkWizardmon and MegaWargreymon Story Enterprises. If any form of this story is found by someone other than workers of that company, a lawsuit will be filed.
Now, read on:
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Prolouge
The heavy wool cloak clutched against his body as he walked down the empty, cold, dark alley. He glanced at the shadows as they seemed to take form of wild beasts, ready to strike upon any easy prey. He almost tripped over a black cat, which was eating the carcass of a fish. He turned away in
disgust. The smell of fish mixed with the stench from the sewer systems made his skin crawl and he had to cover his face with the cloak not to throw up. He hurried down to the end of the alley, as he stepped out onto the empty street he gasped for air as he looked around.
"Where does person find a place to sleep in this world?" he said to himself.
Abrupted in his thoughts by two men laughing viciosly at him, he turned around and stared at them. One of them were holding a flaimg sword, while the other held a laser chain. Both grinned at him as he had turned towards them.
"Well, look at what we gots here," the one with the chain said.
"Give us what you have, or, do ya want to die?" the other said.
The boy just stared at them, under silence. Then he threw down his only possessions; a blanket, a pillow and the coat. But, when he had thrown the coat on the bare ground he had also pulled out his Katana. The two men still glared at him viciously, ready to strike.
"This Katana has been sharpened by lasers. You bastards will die by it," he said grimly.
"Shut ya mouth boy!" one of the men said nervously.
"Make me."
The two men charged at him filled with rage - the chain carrying scum tried to force him to the ground by using his chain around his left anckle while holding onto the other side of the weapon while the carrier of the flaming sword aimed at the boys neck. With a hard kick he made the chain man lose
his balance and fall to the ground and in the meantime he had succesfully got out of the way for the sword which had been aimed at his neck. Now, both of the men lay on the ground, defeated.
"You can call me Blue. Remember the name. As it is who wields the sword that will kill you!" the boy shouted.
The man with the chain threw it again like last time, however this time aimed at Blue's hands. Blue slashed and cut the chain in half. He charged at both men and slashed, cutting both of the men in half. The upper portion of their body falling off like a ball rolling down a hill. Blue walked back to where he dumped his blanket and pillow. He returned his sword into it's sheath, then bent down to pick up his stuff.
"Dumb bastards. Picking on anyone who stumbles by. Now, to find a place to sleep..."
He stepped over the carcasses of the fallen men and continued searching for a place to sleep, in this place which God forgot. Many hundred years ago this region of the town had been the center of the town, blooming with office buildings and such. Now it was a deserted wasteland, the damaged buildings were monuments which kept the memory of what this had been. Gangs and other thugs ruled these neighbourhoods now, graffiti on every wall, showing the territorys for each gang. The sight may not have been pretty, but atleast it was a place for those who needed somewhere to stay for a couple of nights as it offered protection against the weather, if you stayed
inside that is.
I could go to the library! I can read a good book while trying to fall asleep. Blue thought to himself.
Blue ran towards the left, then kept runing straight. The streets were full with people, most of them were drug addicts, bums or just drunk. Most of them cursed as Blue ran by them. It took him only a short while to reach the library. Unlike most people in this city, Blue was strong and fast. Blue has been to the library about two times. No one ever goes there. Everyone thinks reading is a sin.
The library was battered like everything else here. Walls torn off, books everywhere, pages everywhere. It was still standing strong though. Atop the roof was a long silver pole. At the end, there was a flag. Parts of it were torn, however enough was left for Blue to know what flag it was. The EFA flag. The flag representing the Earth Federation Alliance. The Alliance united all of the nations. From Earth, Mars, and the moon.
Time to go to sleep. Blue though to himself.
Blue walked through a hole in the side of the building. He looked around and found no one inside. Perfect. No one to bother him. He put down his pillow and his blanket. He laid his Katana next to them.
"Lets explore a little," he muttered under his breath.
Blue walked around the building, picking up any books he saw and looking at them. There were many subjects. He picked up a book entitled "War". He flipped trhough the pages and then put it back where he found it. It did not really interest him.
clunk
He turned. Blue found a metal triangle on the ground. Blue bent down and picked it up. It was dusty. He blew air on it and examined it. He turned it to the side, flipped it over, to the other side. He found a blue button.
"I wonder...."
He pressed his thumb against the button. Nothing happened. He waited a few seconds and still, nothing happened.
"Must be busted."
Blue threw it to the ground.
bzz, bzz, bzz
Blue turned around to find a hologram of a person emanating from the triangle. Blue looked at it strangely. He walked over to it and the hologram looked at him. The image was that of a man. He had blood red eyes and dark, black hair. He was wearing a white shirt with the EFA flag on both sides of the shoulder. His pants were black. His head was shot back with white hair.
"Where am I"? the hologram asked.
Blue did not respond.
"Well?"
"You are in a library. Located in Central City." Blue responded.
"What year is it?"
"It is the year six thousand."
"Six thousand.....it has been a long time."
Blue looked at him strangely again, trying to figure out who he is. "What do you mean, 'long time'?"
The hologram sighed. Although no air comes from his mouth.
catsMarch5 And the cats go marching on...
Posts: 15
(10/31/02 5:21 pm)
Re: Crystal War-Prolouge
YEAH!! First reader to post!!!
I have found several problems,
The use of he, Blue, and his are used very frequently. Yes, you need a subject with every sentence there is but try using different subjects. For example instead "Blue thought to himself" Try, "The 15 year old though to himself". You can also combine two actions together like so "Deep in his thoughts about the future, he weaved his way around the crowd" Or something to that matter.
Also, another thing, Blue to me seems like a name. I have no idea what he looks like, You do have a personality for Blue but nothing about description. Like I don't know if he's skinny as a rail, he has long flowing white hair or very short black hair.
Those are the problems that I see. Despite all that, you two do have awesome description for the backgrounds and buildings.
Re: Crystal War-Prolouge
DarkWizardmon is the describer. I set the scene and the actions and he describes them. However you are correct. Not to worry, you will find out what he looks like later............much later.
The Other Other White Meat
Posts: 8
(11/16/02 7:02 pm)
Re: Crystal War-Prolouge
I like this. Futurisitc stories like this always grab my attention. My only complaint is that the fight scene was hard to follow. It went by too quickly, and the peoples actions were kind of fuzzy. other than that, I can't wait to see how this story turns out.
Re: Crystal War-Prolouge
I like the mysterious quality that it has.
To come to my place, click here. I got stuff that Pojo now lacks, and previous chapters of my stories. Also come over to AOLSB's site:Chaos and Destruction. They have stuff you probably won't find anywhere else
Both of us are members of F.B.I. (Funky Boards Inc.), along with Surfpata island and Gatomon's tailring's board, The cave of wonders and insanity.
If you want a part in this alliance, talk to AngelOfLightStrikesBack
Buck Futter? I don't get it. Oh, I think you do, Trebek- I think you do.
Posts: 55
(12/4/02 7:03 pm)
Re: Crystal War-Prolouge
it is very good, and I think Meloaf and Cats caught all the problems. I vote for Blue to be like Gary since thats what he is in the game =P. j/k
, show freak
Prizes won: Gold Charizard Plushie, a 5" Charmander light(it's tail lights up), a zinc Sandslash scale, a "Magikarp's revenge" trophy, a Crystal Celebi trophy, a frozen Kabuto and a magic Magikarp
Re: Crystal War-Prolouge
Re: Crystal War-Prolouge
, show freak
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