Elements - Chapter I
Well, here it is. The moment of truth. This will be my greatest work so far. Although, I still have a feeling that there will still be mistakes. Oh well, we learn from our mistakes, correct?
By now you must be a little impatient so I will quickly start the story.
Watch and be amazed of the first chapter of-
Elements
Chapter I
Mastering of the Element
"Ahh!"
No one likes pain, do they? It is something that no one every wants to feel, however, they will feel sooner or later in their lifetime.
crack
"Ahh!!"
The wind swept around me like a tornado. It picked up leaves from the ground, and they then danced through the air around me. As the wind caressed my hair, the bones in my back hurt like hell. This pain that I feel gets worse the farther I progress. Bones cracking sounds painful doesn't it? Well, it is.
"AHH!"
My pupils widened to twice their normal size. The skin covering my shoulder blades were had a set of wings, one on each blade, sticking out. They were about one foot in length. They were small, and not what I wanted.
"Ahh!"
Suddenly my bones hurt again. I fell onto the ground, my arms forward so as to not have my face meet the ground. I felt as it though something was being driven into my back. I felt the skin on my shoulder blades stretching In ten seconds flat, the pain left. Getting up and brushing the dirt from my hands and knees, I turned around.
On the grass I found a white feather. The curved wing turned dark as a shadow formed over it. Looking up, I saw the face of a young girl. Her dazzling blue eyes reflected the light from the sun. Even though she was young, she had long white hair. She had a slim figure that made her into one thing: perfect.
Lifting her hand to take an apple from the round, brown basket she carried, she spoke. Her soothing voice made my legs tremble and my mouth go dry.
"After weeks of practice, all you manage to get is a feather?" she said. "Not very good is it? Oh well. I heard your screaming all the way from the forest. I came to see if anything was wrong and I saw your progress. Here"-she handed me the apple-"eat it. You need to regain your strength."
While I crunched my teeth into the apple she turned and walked away. Her kimono covered much of her body. The upper part of the kimono was colored goldenrod, while the lower portion was red. I started running to her.
"So what have you been up to Sapphire?" I asked.
Smiling, she responded. "Not much. Just talking gossip with the girls. And you?"
"Well, aside from cracking my bones to grow wings, not much."
She laughed at my remark. As we approached the river, she flicked her wrist. The river parted in two. As we crossed, some birds flew from a tree and flew right by us. The area was heavily forested. More than half of the trees were full of fruit. The sun shone brightly onto our hair. The sun also reflected off of the water; wrinkles coming now and then with the movement of the water. I took another bite of the apple.
screech!!
As I looked up, I saw figure in the sky. From the main body, wings spread out. The creature had a hooked beak that could rip off the meat from a carcass. It's plumage was a kind of mixed white, gray, and silver. Three of the feathers atop of the bird's head streaked straight up and then bent down near two thirds near the tip, giving the bird's head an image of it having a "crown". As it flapped it's wings to keep it from plummeting down with a hard smack to the ground, I held out my left arm.
"You never put a glove over your arm to protect your arm from his talons. Though I have asked many times, I ask again; why?" I heard Sapphire ask.
I shrugged. "I just don't feel like wearing a glove. Besides, his talons aren't that painful."
She rolled her eyes and smiled.
Apparently, the eagle understood, because when it landed on my outstretched arm, he made his claws dig into my skin. I led out a loud yelp. As Sapphire turned and saw what happened, she opened her mouth to speak.
"You deserve it." she said.
I scoffed. I scratched the eagle's head with my fingers. "So, what have you been up to Gust?"
scree!!
Went his reply. I smiled. The clouds were moving slowly through the sky. The sun hid behind a titanic cloud. From the corner of my eye I could see a group of small kids playing around.
scree!!
Like an arrow, Gust shot straight into the air. He started circling around the area. It seems he found some food. I ran to catch up with Sapphire.
"Hey, need any help with the fruit?" I offered.
"I can manage, thanks," she replied. "Hey, have you talked with Jet?"
"No, why?"
She looked at me worriedly. "Christine told me that he has not been himself lately. That he has been feeling more. . . . more dark. I was thinking that maybe you and Leon could go hang out with him?"
I nodded. "Sure. I'll go find Leon now so we can go see Jet. Tell Christine that he will be alright."
"I will."
Taking the last bite of the apple she had given me, I started running to the training grounds, to the left of where Sapphire and I were at. She called to me, and threw two apples to me. Catching them, she told me to give them to give one to Leon and another to Jet.
screech!!
I looked up and saw Gust flying down next to me. He started flying with me, keeping up at the same speed as me. I chuckled and then conjured up a wind to speed me up. Gust noticed that I started running faster than he flew and sped up as well. A race had just comenced.
"Come on Gust! Think you can beat me?" I taunted.
I would regret taunting him, as he hated being taunted. The trees were a green blur. The leaves swayed in a rough motion as the wind I conjured up rushed by them. The flowers and the grass swayed as well. Many leaves fell off of the trees. As I kept running, I came to be in the lead. Gust flapped his wings harder and harder.
I grinned. I noticed that the trees ahead of us started to spread out, making a grass plain in the middle. We were nearing the training grounds.
SCREE!!!!
"Huh?" I breathed.
As I kept running, I hit something with my right foot and went careening into the ground. My face was in the ground. I groaned as I got to my feet. I quickly brushed the dirt from my silver robe. I squinted. I touched my forehead and found that it was bleeding. My knees were bruised a little.
Gust roosted on the branch of a tree. I looked at him.
"Is there a bird god that loves you or something? Every damn time I say something that is to make fun of you-playing around though-I get hurt. If you do, then you're one lucky bird."
I heard some leaves rustling.
"Who's there?" I called out.
A tall teenager came out of some bushes. His crimson hair gave him a sinister look. He looked at me with dark brown eyes. His attire consisted of an all red kimono. He shook his head.
"What the hell is this Zephyr?" he asked.
"I tripped over a damn rock. I don't think I should have been running at that speed."
He put his hand to his forehead. "You think?"
"Shut up." I looked around. "Have you seen Jet?"
"No."
"Damn. Sapphire said that Christine told her that Jet has not been himself lately. That he has been more dark. Sapphire asked me to get you and to go hang out with him."
Leon looked up into the sky. "Now that I think about it, he has been acting strange. Lets go find him."
"Lets go to the lake. He can always be found there, meditating."
We started running in the direction of the lake. I called out to Leon and threw one of the apples Sapphire gave to me to him. I told him it was from Sapphire. We ran over a bridge that connected the main land to a small island. I could see ahead of me a large mass of water; the ocean. As we went over the bridge onto the island, he took the last bite of the apple I had given him. He threw it into the air, far in front of him and then blasted it with a blast of fire that escaped from his hands.
"Show off!" I shouted to him.
He smirked. "So, how are you and Sapphire doing?"
A puzzled look fell over my face. "What do you mean?"
"Don't play dumb. You like her, don't you? I've seen the way you look at her and the way you talk to her. Your in love with her aren't you?"
Blushing, I said, "What's it to you?"
"Nothing, nothing. I just thought that you should be a little bit more open with her. It might just work out."
I rolled my eyes. We could see a figure up ahead. The figure was sitting down. We could immediately tell that this was Jet. Although he has never had an aura around him, he had one now and it was dark. It was sinister.
"Hey Jet!" I called out.
Leon and I started slowing down. As we walked forward towards Jet, he stood up. His wardrobe was what you would probably expect, black. The clothing that he wore was a kimono.
We stoped abrubtly. We looked at his eyes and we could see that his eyes were dark, and not their hazel color. A strong gust of wind blew through his black hair.
"What are you doing here?" he asked in a voice not his own.
"We-we-we-." I stuttered before Leon cut in.
"We came here to hang out with you. Catch up on training, talk, have fun. What's with your voice?" he said.
Jet stepped forward. "Nothing is wrong with my voice. You interupted my meditation. You'll regret it."
"What? Regret it? What the hell do you mean?" I asked.
"I mean a fight you imbecile. Both of you, since it was both of you who interupted me. Now, fight me!" Jet replied.
"No!" Leon retorted.
After that, there was utter silence. The wind blew all around us, it streaked through our hair, it swayed through our clothes. My mouth was hanging open, not knowing what to say. I looked at Leon and saw that he did not want to fight. Jet on the other hand, was ready for a battle. I finally spoke.
"Lets do it Leon. He wants a fight, lets give it to him."
Leon was shocked. "But-but Zephyr! If he gets hurt?"
The wind suddenly began to whip around a lot stronger than normal.
"Don't worry. We only need to stun him." I turned to Jet. "Alright Jet, you'll get a battle. But you will regret this."
Quote:What man can conceive man can achieve.
-Jules Verne
catsMarch5 And the cats go marching on...
Posts: 158
(4/2/03 9:17 pm)
Re: Elements - Chapter I
A very interesting first chapter I must say, especially with the beginning talking about pain, then having the character go though an anticlimax.
I don't really see any problems but it seems a bit rushed. Then again you did say you were impatient so maybe it's only in my own head.
I now declare myself a reader of this fiction.
This is the space where I would try to direct people to read my fiction but the last thing that I put up was in September. It was on Pojo and is now in the land of the deleted. So I have no fiction whatsoever. Isn't that sad?
Re: Elements - Chapter I
Very intruiging... very stirring of the emotions... and a powerful start reffing to pain...
Use some eifferent things besides 'AHHH' and 'Ahhh' for exclamation of pain, is my only comment... but even that is exceptable... just annoyoing to read if it happens every other line...
The Other Other White Meat
Posts: 80
(5/4/03 9:32 pm)
Re: Elements - Chapter I
Hmm...anyone else get an anime-esque vibe from this fic? I dunno, i guess it was all the references to kimonos and other japaneseish stuff.
I agree with cats, this chapter seemed very rushed. you might want to go back and fill in exacly why the protagonist was trying to grow wings, or maybe fill us in on how that other guy (sorry, i really suck at remembering names...) could incinerate an apple core with his hands?
I'll definately be reading the next chapter when it comes out.
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