indicaspice420
Registered Member
Posts: 16
(3/19/03 5:07 pm)
Reply
|
HUMOROUS TAKE ON THE IRAQ WEAPONS INSPECTORS
Guns cause crime like spoons cause Rosie O'Donnell to be fat!
Have you noticed anything fishy about the inspection teams who have arrived
in Iraq? They're all men!
How in the name of the United Nations does anyone expect men to find
Saddam's stash? We all know that men have a blind spot when it comes to
finding things.
For crying' out loud! Men can't find the dirty clothes hamper. Men can't
find the jar of jelly until it falls out of the cupboard and splatters on
the floor.... and these are the people we have sent into Iraq to search for
hidden weapons of mass destruction?
I keep wondering why groups of mothers weren't sent in. Mothers can sniff
out secrets quicker than a drug dog can find a gram of dope. Mothers can
find gin bottles that dads have stashed in the attic beneath the rafters.
They can sniff out a diary two rooms and one floor away. They can tell when
the lid of a cookie jar has been disturbed and notice when a quarter inch
slice has been shaved off a chocolate cake. A mother can smell alcohol on
your breath before you get your key in the front door and can smell
cigarette smoke from a block away. By examining laundry, a mother knows more
about their kids than Sherlock Holmes. And if a mother wants an answer to
question, she can read an offender's eyes quicker than a homicide detective.
So... considering the value a mother could bring to an inspection team, why
are we sending a
bunch of old men who will rely on electronic equipment to scout out hidden
threats?
My mother would walk in with a wooden soup spoon in one hand, grab Saddam by
the ear, give it a
good twist and snap, "Young man, do you have any weapons of mass
destruction?" And God help him if he tried to lie to her. She'd march him
down the street to some secret bunker and shove his nose into a nuclear bomb
and say, "Uh, huh, and what do you call this, mister?" Whap! Thump! Whap!
Whap! Whap! And she'd lay some stripes across his bare bottom with that soup
spoon, then march him home in front of the whole of Baghdad. He'd not only
come clean and apologize for lying about it, he'd cut every lawn in Baghdad
for free for the whole damn summer.
Inspectors my ass... You want the job done? Call my mother.
|
Email This To a Friend
Topic Commands
Click to receive email notification of replies 
Click to stop receiving email notification of replies