He's Fallin but he's not fallin Ch3
After finishing the slushie, I felt....resonably good for someone who had just choked down what tasted like an old leather sock and left an incredibly foul after taste.
Ugh. Now, it was time to move on to my daily chores- brushing Wolfgang, (who was still sleeping), and trimming the branches on the pine tree out back. (Not that I had to trim the branches daily, but only every so often, and today was just one of those days.)
I sighed. First things first. I picked up the "Kitty-Brusheroo" which sat on its shelf in the closet next to the WD-420, (whatever that is. I've never really wanted to find out...) and sat on the couch near Wolfgang.
"Hey, Wolfman!" I said quietly. Then I paused. That didn't exactly sound right. It sounded more like the name of a guy in a cheap wolf suit running out of the woods, but I kept talking. "Wanna be brushed?"
Wolfgang looked up into my eyes, sneezed, shook himself like a wet dog, then jumped off the couch and ran into Erika's room.
I sometimes think Wolfgang was raised in the woods by dogs.
"Well then!" I said to myself, "I guess I should get started on the tree."
I hate going outside. You always have to choose the right thing to wear. After about fifteen minutes of endlesss thought, I decided on my spring-green jacket, black sneakers, and some brick-red work gloves, all of which clashed badly with my faded blue jeans, cerulean-blue long sleeved, three-button shirt. Not to mention my green sunglasses with the red lenses, that made my blue eyes look purple. On top of all that, my hair was sticking out from everywhere and the hat I was wearing had about 39 plastic flamingoes with springs for necks on the front of the brim. I looked kind of cool, considering that the flamngoes were battery-powered, so their heads would just pop up and hang down in my face at random moments.
Ah well. I had to get on with the tree-trimming. Taking the strongest clippers we had, along with a tarp, a hobbled outside, collapsing flamingoes and all, and did my work.
I walked inside about a half hour later, feeling as though I had been attacked by ravens. (Actually, I had been chased by a runaway chainsaw, bitten by a badger and I had stepped on the spikey side of a rake, causing it to jump up and hit me in the face.)
I sighed. I had already decided to eat some leftover pizza, take a shower, then destory the flamingo hat and repace it with the one with a huge crocodile on it that opens its mouth and wags its tail when you pull a string.
I wolfed down the pizza, then walked towards my room, which could not be done without walking right into Erika in the front hall.
She took one look at me and burst out laughing. "You should SEE yourself, Skyler! Your clothes don't even match, your hair's all messed up, your sunglasses have one lens that's hanging on by a piece of adhesive, you've got an imprint of a rake handle right up the middle of your face, your shoes untied, you have a flamingo head hanging in your face, and you've got pine needles in your hair!"
I scowled. "I'm glad SOMEONE'S enjoying this." I stormed into the bathroom, took a quick shower, threw on some clothes, and walked out into the kitchen, where I found mom, standing there looking at me like an angry cat stares at a mouse.
Uh oh. "Hi mom!" I said semi-cheerfully, "I finished everything except-"
Mom gave me a worse look. "Skyler, put a shirt on. Then we'll talk."
But I had already- Oh....THAT'S what I had forgotten to do! I threw on a shirt and walked back out into the kitchen. "Okay...Now what?"
Mom was still frowning. "What HAPPENED to the tree?"
"Oh THAT!" I said, stupidly, "Well, I was being chased by dad's chainsaw and I kind of jumped out of the way and threw it at the tree. I didn't realize it until it was too late. Now the what's left of the chainsaw is out in the yard." I pointed out the window and indicated the smouldering, disfigured piece of metal that sat on the hill.
Mom frowned again. "I think it's wise to say that you didn't lie this time, like you do every other time you talk to me, but I'm only suppporting you this once, because if your dad sees that saw he'll-"
Dad burst through the door just then. "Great news! We've been invited to visit England for two weeks! My sister just called today and said we haven't seen each other since I left England, (I guess this would be a good time to say that dad has an English accent.) and that was about 20 years ago, since I remember I was 21 or so when I started living in Toronto, then moved here about..." Dad trailed off, talking about England and stuff.
Mom smacked my shoulder and started gesturing for me to go outside and hide the saw. I nodded and was out the door in less than five seconds.
"....And we'd leave on the 12th of and come back on the 21st. And this is November, so the kids better start packing, since that's a week from now, and they- Hey! Where's Skyler going?"
"Ummm....to take the trash out?" said Mom.
"Okay. And then we'd-"
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAUGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
"Oh my! Skyler must have found the squirrels that have been living in the trash. I'll be back."
That's not what happened at all. The chain saw had come back to life all of a sudden and began to chase me again. Mom ran outside and grabbed the handle. "What did you DO?!"
"I dunno!" I grabbed the saw and heaved it into the shed. "Ok, NOW it's been taken care of. Say-when should we tell dad about this?"
"20 years from now, I'd say. Lets just go in, so Erika doesn't have to distract him anymore."
"Sounds good to me!" I said, running ino the house.
Weekly Words of Wisdom by Undakin: (duh, it's me, stupid.)
"I'm not an opinionated person. I just know that I'm always right.
Ths is a classic! A Master Chain Chomp classic! (it's not over yet. There's still alot left.) I admit I've never had more fun working on a story than with this one. And this is only part one! It's a trilogy! So if you like Elijah Wood lookalikes, then sit right there and read this fic!
Buck Futter? I don't get it. Oh, I think you do, Trebek- I think you do.
Posts: 103
(12/14/02 10:38 pm)
Re: Zzzzzzzzzzz
Woo Hoo! I Get to sit back and relax!
, show freak
Prizes won: Gold Charizard Plushie, a 5" Charmander light(it's tail lights up), a zinc Sandslash scale, a "Magikarp's revenge" trophy, a Crystal Celebi trophy, a frozen Kabuto and a magic Magikarp
WHA?!?!??!
You LIKE Elijah Wood lookalikes? Wow. I didn't expect that...I personally would be kinda freaked otu if I saw someone who looked like Elijah walk down the street...must be a tough life, though....
Buck Futter? I don't get it. Oh, I think you do, Trebek- I think you do.
Posts: 117
(12/25/02 2:28 pm)
Re: WHA?!?!??!
Well actually I think Elija Wood is a really ugly guy. I don't remember why I said that...
, show freak
Prizes won: Gold Charizard Plushie, a 5" Charmander light(it's tail lights up), a zinc Sandslash scale, a "Magikarp's revenge" trophy, a Crystal Celebi trophy, a frozen Kabuto and a magic Magikarp
Re: WHA?!?!??!
WHAT?!?!?!?!?! Elijah Wood is way too cute to hate! How can you say THAT? Well, maybe because you're a guy, I think.... Well... oh well.
Words of Wisdom by Undakin: "IF someone annoys you, just remember; it takes forty-two muscles to frown, but only four to punch him in the face." :D
, show freak
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