Jokes... and how they aren't funny at all.

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Posts: 82
(11/3/01 11:32 pm)
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Jokes... and how they aren't funny at all.

OOC: This fanfic is set a week after the infamous "E.T. Just Can't Win" fic. If you are totally clueless, look back a few pages, read that fic, then come here. This ficcie offers much better spelling and grammar.

Scene One: Fallout

In a large, barely light room, there is laughter echoing all throughout the chamber. A trained and learned ear detects the voice belonging to Erik Tatsuodo; Odaiba Japan's human nightlight and impromptu super hero. His voice is almost coarse, warn to the point of loss. The walls of the chamber vibrate along with the laughter, but then suddenly ends. Two light claps are heard then light is given to the dismal room. We see Erik sitting cross legged on the floor, back hunched forward and arms ontop of thighs, fingers pointing upwards in a meditative style. If one was present, they could smell the air, a slight tinge of sweat is present; the kind one would find in a hockey locker room. We focus quickly back on Erik and examine his lerched over figure. With slight mental calculation, one could determine that he had been in this position for quite some time.

We look away from the unmoving husk and towards the apartment. The kitchen is clean and organized, bathroom clean, livingroom tidy. Then our perspective is thrown into Erik's bedroom, or the remanants of it. Clothes are torn and in disarray; bedding in a heap on the carpeted floor, dresser drawers broken and in splinters. A large, wall mounted mirror was shattered, leaving only a small sliver in the frame, but in a spider-webbed pattern. We look to the walls and see holes all over the placed, beneath the holes we see chunks of plaster and jiprock. Several of these holes; obviously human in origin; had slight stains of blood on them, Not all that much, be enough for detection.

We return our focus to Erik, still in his meditative position, but now a chuckling can be heard coming from his thoat, but to call it a chuckle is almost an overstatement. The teenager's voice is raspy and weak, almost inaudible. Finally, Erik straightens himself, and we see his face, it's a tear streaked, yet smile ridden sight, a cause for consearn and unease for anybody to interloap in theses once fabulous quarters. Erik stands, barely under his own power. His joins screamed with the motion, creeking and making sounds almost totally reserved for senior citizens. He walks towards the kitchen, a smile still on his face, lips perfectly sealed. He opens the fridge and takes out a bottle of purple gatoraide, drinks from it briefly, then returns to the living room, carrying the thirst quencher in his hand. Erik reaches for the tv remote, turns on the tube and channel surfs, landing on a few sitcoms. "Crap, all utterly unoriginal crap!" mumbles Erik "Not funny at all.."

In a swift motion the remote is launched into the TV set, blowing up the device and sendind out electrical sparks all over the place. Erik stands up, minus one remote, and walks over to his 40th story balconey. With a smile still planted on the young man's face, he crosses both legs over the railing and falls to the hard cement below.

End Scene One.

Scene Two: Unlikely Advice from an Unlikely Source

Erik can be seen falling from above, but for only a brief second. To the more aware spectators, time becomes sluggish and every meter of the teen's fall increases the likely outcome of this unspeakable action. But then a flicker of intense light emerges, from but of all places, the falling boy. This light almost excellerates his fall, and changes his position so he shall strike the surface head first. Erik's arms are at his sides, increasing the aerodynamics of this fall. Then, just inches from the surface, the light makes its creator stop dead in his tracks while launching him back up towards the balconey. Once landing there, the light deminishes to reviel glowing red eyes. These eyes, however, suddenly change to a soft, white glow, then returns to a complete normal.

"Why did you have to go and stop me?" said Erik, in a soft, disapointed voice.

"Why do you ask questions that you already know the answers to, foolish mortal?" replied a forceful, threatening voice.

"The joke was told, Diablos. 'Erik Tatsuodo goes out on the town on his last night alive, whinds up drunk at a gay bar and hooks up with an obviously highly homosexual man. He, while under the influence, thinks he made a new friend. Turns out this 'friend' just wanted to ride his ass, literally. Once Erik sobers up and finds that his ass is in a great ammount of pain, the comes to the startling truth of what happened the night before.' Purely and totally hillarious. Dont you agree?"

"Tatsuodo, you've really lost it now. You've spent the last three days laughing like a madman and tearing your apartment up. I just had to save you from becoming a roadside pancake. Sure you got screwed over by surcomstances, but now is the time to put that behind you and go out into the real world again."

"But the punchline of the joke hasnt been told yet, we've only come to its climax. 'The life of Tatsuodo was one of great pain and misery. But one which he survived with rezilliancy, determination, and faith in that some huge, omnipotent force would guide him. His instintive resource in times of need were his whit and ever sharp mind. He was able to diffuse the most tense of situations with mearly a funny jesture. Maybe a swordfish out of a hat one night, a monacle and a british accent the next, and the list goes on.' My question to you is, when is a good time to end a bad joke?"

For once, the mishchief deamon fell silent then spoke up in a surprizingly careful tone. "I do not know of what makes a good joke or bad. You're life has been one that,,,, frankly, usually end in choises like this. To end the joke now would be a waste of a perfectly good chance at making it better as you go."

Erik giggles at the demon's comment. "Sinse when have you become the optimistic type, Diablos? Usually you're full of putdowns, insults, and general BS. I know why you care now though. Your one and only host wants to die. He cant handle his life anymore, but hes not willing to submit to you. So your in a fix, hes in a fix, but the world is better off if you're both gone. Ofcourse your logic is sound, in time the joke that is my existance could be turned into something to be proud of, or alteast less ashamed of, but there is a problem in that. I dont feel like waiting."

Diablos snorts within Erik's body, and shifts into control of the vessel. "Heh, neither do I, however, the rewards for paitience are always a million fold greater than those for hedonistic action. Imagine how time passes for me for a moment. Every one of your minutes is almost an hour to me. In the speaking of this very sentence i had the ability to prepare myself extencively. What were you thinking during those three days of laughing?"

"Well,,,, mostly at how funny getting @#%$ by a guy while drunk sounded if it happened to someone else, and about the needed punchline for this joke. I thought my death would have been fitting. I considered what your reaction would be, and more or less figured that you'd stop me. But I had to try anyway."

"Hehehehe, you're a smart one, you know that? Erik, you have an ability that most lack. You can cut through all the BS in life and find the deep down core. You're a self made orphan multi-millionaire, with super powers and a young body, but no one to share anything with. I believe that's the answer right there. You're lonely."

Erik jumps over towards a wall and punches striaght through it. "How dare you examine me like that!!! Even if it is true, the last person I want to hear it from iis my own body's roommate...."

"Sinse you somehow managed to get yourself hated by all the local females, maybe a change is in order. Perhaps its time to leave Odaiba. You could use a change, and alittle relief from the daily chores of trying not to be killed."

"You propose an interesting arguement....I'll say that much. Perhaps a change would help... I've always wanted to return to Canada. Maybe I could live there for a while. But then again odds are Id manage to have some kind of catastrophe happen there. Ive done too much too fast. Ive killed other living beings, digimon, humans, monsters, all in self defence, but they shouldnt have had to die just because I saw them as problems to overcome. God what I wouldnt give for some kind of comedic relief right now... I need more time to deal with this..."

"Erik me-boy, you have all the time in the world, why note use it? And in the meantime, maybe be alittle productive. Clean yourself up, not to mention get the place fixed up. It would do you good to be moving again."

"Heh, alright demon, you win. I wont die today, and neither will you. You're an extremely good conversationalist by the way, and you helped me learn that I never grow tired of hearing my own voice. Hahehahahe.."

"Hehehehe, neither do I. Now seriously. Take a shower man. You reak."

"Heh, yeah,,,"

Erik strips down on his way to the bathroom. he runs the hot water and mixes in the cold, getting it at just the right temperature and jumps in.

~Soon Diablos....Soon I'll have you out of my head and my life. Then, maybe I can rest in peace...~

End Scene Two.

Status: To be Continued

OOC: There.... well then. That looks mighty overly complicated. Its best that you read my first fanfic in order to understand this one. Scenes Three and Four shall be up soon enough.

Edited by: Duncan MacLeod of the Clan MacLeod at: 11/4/01 9:41:56 am

Logan Howlett

Digital World Visitor
Posts: 1
(11/6/01 4:04 pm)
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Re: Jokes... and how they aren't funny at all.

><!!!!! Stupid little brother deleted what I was typing up for part two. Ill have it up by the weekend, hopefully this much sofar has someone interested. ^^

Chibimon Allstar

Pimp Daddy Aly
Posts: 1443
(11/9/01 6:04 pm)
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Re: Jokes... and how they aren't funny at all.

*runs by, kicks Steve in the shins, then runs off*
*heard in the distance*
HA!!! >.< That's what you get for deleting things!!!

�h��m�n �ll$�®

Megabyte Village :: Old Archives > Penny Thing Crossroads > Jokes... and how they aren't funny at all.
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Duncan MacLeod of the Clan MacLeod Digital World Visitor Posts: 82 (11/3/01 11:32 pm) Reply	Jokes... and how they aren't funny at all. OOC: This fanfic is set a week after the infamous "E.T. Just Can't Win" fic. If you are totally clueless, look back a few pages, read that fic, then come here. This ficcie offers much better spelling and grammar. Scene One: Fallout In a large, barely light room, there is laughter echoing all throughout the chamber. A trained and learned ear detects the voice belonging to Erik Tatsuodo; Odaiba Japan's human nightlight and impromptu super hero. His voice is almost coarse, warn to the point of loss. The walls of the chamber vibrate along with the laughter, but then suddenly ends. Two light claps are heard then light is given to the dismal room. We see Erik sitting cross legged on the floor, back hunched forward and arms ontop of thighs, fingers pointing upwards in a meditative style. If one was present, they could smell the air, a slight tinge of sweat is present; the kind one would find in a hockey locker room. We focus quickly back on Erik and examine his lerched over figure. With slight mental calculation, one could determine that he had been in this position for quite some time. We look away from the unmoving husk and towards the apartment. The kitchen is clean and organized, bathroom clean, livingroom tidy. Then our perspective is thrown into Erik's bedroom, or the remanants of it. Clothes are torn and in disarray; bedding in a heap on the carpeted floor, dresser drawers broken and in splinters. A large, wall mounted mirror was shattered, leaving only a small sliver in the frame, but in a spider-webbed pattern. We look to the walls and see holes all over the placed, beneath the holes we see chunks of plaster and jiprock. Several of these holes; obviously human in origin; had slight stains of blood on them, Not all that much, be enough for detection. We return our focus to Erik, still in his meditative position, but now a chuckling can be heard coming from his thoat, but to call it a chuckle is almost an overstatement. The teenager's voice is raspy and weak, almost inaudible. Finally, Erik straightens himself, and we see his face, it's a tear streaked, yet smile ridden sight, a cause for consearn and unease for anybody to interloap in theses once fabulous quarters. Erik stands, barely under his own power. His joins screamed with the motion, creeking and making sounds almost totally reserved for senior citizens. He walks towards the kitchen, a smile still on his face, lips perfectly sealed. He opens the fridge and takes out a bottle of purple gatoraide, drinks from it briefly, then returns to the living room, carrying the thirst quencher in his hand. Erik reaches for the tv remote, turns on the tube and channel surfs, landing on a few sitcoms. "Crap, all utterly unoriginal crap!" mumbles Erik "Not funny at all.." In a swift motion the remote is launched into the TV set, blowing up the device and sendind out electrical sparks all over the place. Erik stands up, minus one remote, and walks over to his 40th story balconey. With a smile still planted on the young man's face, he crosses both legs over the railing and falls to the hard cement below. End Scene One. Scene Two: Unlikely Advice from an Unlikely Source Erik can be seen falling from above, but for only a brief second. To the more aware spectators, time becomes sluggish and every meter of the teen's fall increases the likely outcome of this unspeakable action. But then a flicker of intense light emerges, from but of all places, the falling boy. This light almost excellerates his fall, and changes his position so he shall strike the surface head first. Erik's arms are at his sides, increasing the aerodynamics of this fall. Then, just inches from the surface, the light makes its creator stop dead in his tracks while launching him back up towards the balconey. Once landing there, the light deminishes to reviel glowing red eyes. These eyes, however, suddenly change to a soft, white glow, then returns to a complete normal. "Why did you have to go and stop me?" said Erik, in a soft, disapointed voice. "Why do you ask questions that you already know the answers to, foolish mortal?" replied a forceful, threatening voice. "The joke was told, Diablos. 'Erik Tatsuodo goes out on the town on his last night alive, whinds up drunk at a gay bar and hooks up with an obviously highly homosexual man. He, while under the influence, thinks he made a new friend. Turns out this 'friend' just wanted to ride his ass, literally. Once Erik sobers up and finds that his ass is in a great ammount of pain, the comes to the startling truth of what happened the night before.' Purely and totally hillarious. Dont you agree?" "Tatsuodo, you've really lost it now. You've spent the last three days laughing like a madman and tearing your apartment up. I just had to save you from becoming a roadside pancake. Sure you got screwed over by surcomstances, but now is the time to put that behind you and go out into the real world again." "But the punchline of the joke hasnt been told yet, we've only come to its climax. 'The life of Tatsuodo was one of great pain and misery. But one which he survived with rezilliancy, determination, and faith in that some huge, omnipotent force would guide him. His instintive resource in times of need were his whit and ever sharp mind. He was able to diffuse the most tense of situations with mearly a funny jesture. Maybe a swordfish out of a hat one night, a monacle and a british accent the next, and the list goes on.' My question to you is, when is a good time to end a bad joke?" For once, the mishchief deamon fell silent then spoke up in a surprizingly careful tone. "I do not know of what makes a good joke or bad. You're life has been one that,,,, frankly, usually end in choises like this. To end the joke now would be a waste of a perfectly good chance at making it better as you go." Erik giggles at the demon's comment. "Sinse when have you become the optimistic type, Diablos? Usually you're full of putdowns, insults, and general BS. I know why you care now though. Your one and only host wants to die. He cant handle his life anymore, but hes not willing to submit to you. So your in a fix, hes in a fix, but the world is better off if you're both gone. Ofcourse your logic is sound, in time the joke that is my existance could be turned into something to be proud of, or alteast less ashamed of, but there is a problem in that. I dont feel like waiting." Diablos snorts within Erik's body, and shifts into control of the vessel. "Heh, neither do I, however, the rewards for paitience are always a million fold greater than those for hedonistic action. Imagine how time passes for me for a moment. Every one of your minutes is almost an hour to me. In the speaking of this very sentence i had the ability to prepare myself extencively. What were you thinking during those three days of laughing?" "Well,,,, mostly at how funny getting @#%$ by a guy while drunk sounded if it happened to someone else, and about the needed punchline for this joke. I thought my death would have been fitting. I considered what your reaction would be, and more or less figured that you'd stop me. But I had to try anyway." "Hehehehe, you're a smart one, you know that? Erik, you have an ability that most lack. You can cut through all the BS in life and find the deep down core. You're a self made orphan multi-millionaire, with super powers and a young body, but no one to share anything with. I believe that's the answer right there. You're lonely." Erik jumps over towards a wall and punches striaght through it. "How dare you examine me like that!!! Even if it is true, the last person I want to hear it from iis my own body's roommate...." "Sinse you somehow managed to get yourself hated by all the local females, maybe a change is in order. Perhaps its time to leave Odaiba. You could use a change, and alittle relief from the daily chores of trying not to be killed." "You propose an interesting arguement....I'll say that much. Perhaps a change would help... I've always wanted to return to Canada. Maybe I could live there for a while. But then again odds are Id manage to have some kind of catastrophe happen there. Ive done too much too fast. Ive killed other living beings, digimon, humans, monsters, all in self defence, but they shouldnt have had to die just because I saw them as problems to overcome. God what I wouldnt give for some kind of comedic relief right now... I need more time to deal with this..." "Erik me-boy, you have all the time in the world, why note use it? And in the meantime, maybe be alittle productive. Clean yourself up, not to mention get the place fixed up. It would do you good to be moving again." "Heh, alright demon, you win. I wont die today, and neither will you. You're an extremely good conversationalist by the way, and you helped me learn that I never grow tired of hearing my own voice. Hahehahahe.." "Hehehehe, neither do I. Now seriously. Take a shower man. You reak." "Heh, yeah,,," Erik strips down on his way to the bathroom. he runs the hot water and mixes in the cold, getting it at just the right temperature and jumps in. ~Soon Diablos....Soon I'll have you out of my head and my life. Then, maybe I can rest in peace...~ End Scene Two. Status: To be Continued OOC: There.... well then. That looks mighty overly complicated. Its best that you read my first fanfic in order to understand this one. Scenes Three and Four shall be up soon enough. Edited by: Duncan MacLeod of the Clan MacLeod at: 11/4/01 9:41:56 am
Logan Howlett Digital World Visitor Posts: 1 (11/6/01 4:04 pm) Reply	Re: Jokes... and how they aren't funny at all. ><!!!!! Stupid little brother deleted what I was typing up for part two. Ill have it up by the weekend, hopefully this much sofar has someone interested. ^^
Chibimon Allstar Pimp Daddy Aly Posts: 1443 (11/9/01 6:04 pm) Reply	Re: Jokes... and how they aren't funny at all. runs by, kicks Steve in the shins, then runs off heard in the distance HA!!! >.< That's what you get for deleting things!!! �h��m�n �ll$�®