kalimando P st
Resident Telepath
Posts: 1006
(3/5/06 3:13 pm)
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Kumquats
Author: Kalimando
Title: Kumquats
Challenge: Education (for flashfic on lj)
Universe: Could be any
Rating: G
Summary: Jubilee started young
Notes: Thanks always to H for looking this over and making a few suggestions.
You may be surprised to discover that I started getting into trouble in school early in my academic career. Long before Xavier’s even. As shocking as it may seem, it’s true. The one memory that stands out from all the others happened when I was about 4 years old. Now that I think about it that’s really where my taste for pranks began… at the Child Study Center
Before I tell you what happened I think it’s important that you know a little bit about where I went to pre-school. Since my mother and father were undeniably wealthy I was sent to the best of schools even for pre-school. The Child Study Center must’ve had a waiting list several city blocks long and the only way to get your kid off the waiting list and into the school was if one of the kids in the school died or moved. That didn’t happen very often. The Child Study Center was just that. Our parents paid loads of money for a bunch of psych and education majors to spy on us from behind this big huge mirror that ran from one end of the wall to another. All of us kids thought the mirror was there for the sole purpose of making horrid faces and laughing at our reflections. The day that I found out what the real purpose of the mirror was… well it’s like finding out there’s no Santa Clause or in my case, that dragons didn’t exist. God knows what those spies behind the mirror were writing and although I can’t actually prove it I totally think that I’ve had articles written and published about me.
Anyhow, at 4 years old I had a steady boyfriend named Derek. Blonde and blue eyed, he had that whole ‘All American Surfer Boy’ look to him. Sort of like Bobby Drake. But besides good looks Derek had a wicked 4 year old mind like me. The two of us… well let me just say that at least two teacher aides quit on our account and I think we made countless others cry. Forget about that whole ‘one of my students ate glue’ or ‘they finger painted the table!’ Oh no. That was so beneath us. But never had we caused such uproar as we had that one day when I came up with the most brilliant plan ever.
Every day it was the same thing for recess- slides, this giant log structure, or Follow the Leader. B.O.R.I.N.G. There were also strict boundaries, which was simply an invitation for me and Derek to ignore them. Past the boundary were several fruit trees and I think they were kumquat trees but I could be wrong. Anyhow, we were irresistibly attracted to them and instead of joining in with the rest of the sheep playing Farmer in the Dell, me and Derek took off and climbed the trees were we enjoyed a wonderful 20 minutes of feeding one another kumquats. And when our classmates lined up and followed the teacher inside we didn’t move. Why would we go inside and ruin a perfect afternoon free of teachers telling us what to do and not to do?
It wasn’t long though before we must have been missed. Maybe it was too quiet inside and the teachers realized we were gone. All I know is that Derek and I were having silent fits of laughter in the kumquat tree as a search party was organized and sent forth. It was better than watching a movie and all of the commotion was because of us! Of course we didn’t answer to any of their frantic calls, not even when our parents arrived. We just sat up in that tree stuffing ourselves silly with kumquats. Honestly, I don’t know how long we were up in that tree before I made the mistake that got us caught.
I’ve never been one to sit still for very long, even in a kumquat tree with the love of my life (at that time). I didn’t even realize that my left leg had swung down in full view and that I was kicking it back and forth quite happily. It was actually my shoe, a black leather MaryJane, that caught the attention of one of the aides. I don’t think that I’ve ever been dragged out of a tree so quickly in my life. And the lectures… those weren’t too bad because I had learned to tune them out so that they sounded something like this, “Jubilation Lee! Blahblahblahblahblahblah, Ms. Lee! Blahblahblah…” It’s basically the same thing dogs hear when you scold them. Both Derek and I probably wouldn’t have gotten a month’s worth of inside recess if we’d been able to keep from grinning at one another. Probably the worst punishment though was that they put Derek in a different pre-school class so that I hardly got to see him anymore.
Looking back, I would’ve only done one thing differently. I wouldn’t have got us caught. And to this day I can’t eat a kumquat without thinking about all the things I learned in pre-school:
1. Mirrors are not your friends.
2. When hiding in a tree from your teachers make sure to wear camouflage.
3. Kumquats are best shared with someone you love even if it means getting nabbed by the pre-school teacher Nazis.
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