Muslim marriage as a second wife
I recently took Shahadah in Aug. 2003, and got married in Dec. 2003. My husband explained to me that he had a Christian wife and wanted to stay with her, and I accepted that. I was lead to believe a lot of things before the marriage, and after we wed, my husband was like a man that I had never met before. He treated me worse than I have ever been treated in my life, and I prayed and tried to discuss the problems with him, but it would usually end in an argument. My husband never spent one night at my home, he did not help me out financially, or otherwise, when I needed to get in contact with him I would leave messages and he would never get back to me, insults me on a regular basis when I do see him. I am in such great pain, because I know that Allah hates divorce, but I tried everything that I could think of before it came to this. This was my first marriage and I told my husband before the marriage that when I get married it will be forever, and now I have to go back on my work, because he does not want to treat me fairly as his second wife. I know Islam does not allow dating, but at this point for me I do not wish to ever marry another Muslim man and be misused the way I was, I will take my chances with a Christian man, or someone that I have known for years, because it seems to me that a man whether his is Christian, Muslim, or any religion will tell you what he thinks you want to hear and when he has you the game changes, and I do not think that is fair to woman, or vice versa the man.
changable02
Unregistered User
(2/9/04 7:10 am) Reply
should i marry him?
I was born and raised in the USA. I am a young white american who is helplessly in love with a muslim. I am a christian and our relationship is strong and is going onto nearly two years. We dont care about what other people think of our relationship. We have talked about marriage and family. Should I say yes?
Sister W
Unregistered User
(3/1/04 11:16 am) Reply
Of course you shouldn't marry him
You are not ready for marriage. Clearly. How can a group of strangers tell you what you should do??? And, if you have to ask, that means there are problems already. Christian women married to Muslim men are rarely successful; even women who convert have grave problems with Muslim men. Why the desperation? This isn't healthy. Wait until your thirty, AND, STUDY ISLAM, and THEN decide.
Do not marry him!!!
Are you ready to share him if he decides to take 1, 2 or 3 more wives? It is permitted for Muslims to abuse their wives, you know. Go rent the movie "Not Without my Daughter", starring Sally Fields. It's a true story about an American marrying an Arabian Muslim.
nancynancy1222
Unregistered User
(3/5/04 12:26 am) Reply
you say if you should marry
hello to all sisters and brothers i been with a arabic muslim man for 15 years.im american puerto rican woman. im not even marry, no kids, i dont even live with him. he comes to see me when he can. allah as my withness i hurt cry every second. i hate what he is doing to me .he promise me he will marry me . do you think i beive that. what keeps me with him is that im real in love with him. even we are in sin , but this country new york usa dont marry us. ( but yet the gays are fighting to get marry, why dont women like me do the same fight so we can marry the man we want even if he does have a wife...... ) so what do i do i wait for something good to happen i dont know what. i met him when i was 21 years old today im 37 years old. yet nothing good out of our so call love. all i know sister if you love him marry him. but make sure you sign your marriage paper that he cant marry no other woman.in god willing you have all you wish for .god knews im still waitting for my day. i hope i made a friend or frinds. if you wish to talk more any sisters or brothers you can email me roblesabdul@msn.com cause we all can use a friend to talk to god knews i do.
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