BeN bLeDsoEs pLaYtOy 4EvA 
beNsMkDmAhDoGzAsS
Posts: 399
(4/6/02 8:42 pm)
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Natural Interview
by: MikeHmpzMahMnkyzHrd
After much planning and begging, Lorrian and I were getting the chance to interview one of our favorite groups, Natural. We walked up to the bus and knocked on the door waiting for one of them, or the bus driver to answer.
*"Barbie Girl" Can be heard playing inside the bus rather loudly.*
Someone walks to the door and starts opening it. There is the loud taptap as they walk, for a second we think a girl's about to answer the door wearing high heels...
Marc: "I'm a Barbie girl, in a barbie world imagination life is your creation!" He looks at us confused. "Who are you?"
Lorrian: I'm Lorrian and this is Hailey. We're here to interview you.
Marc: *shakes his head.* "No you're not."
Lorrian and I share confused looks.
Hailey: "Yes, we really are."
*Marc slams the door.* We stand outside deciding this must be a joke, after all we knew we had an interview. We had talked to none other then Glenda herself. After waiting a minute no one came back to the door.
Lorrian: *knocks on door*
This time the music was turned off. We can hear foot steps all the way to the front again.
*Door opens an inch*
Person behind the door: "Hello?"
They said it so quietly we can barely hear.
Lorrian: "Hi... we're here to do an interview with you guys. Glenda told us you would be ready by now."
*Door opens a little bit more* Patrick's head pops out and he smiles at us.
Patrick: "Okay, I guess you can come in."
The door opens further and they let us in. After explaining a few times to Marc about what an interview is we get them to all sit around. Lorrian looks at me and I just shrug. Their appearances are some what disturbing. Marc is sitting across from us his legs crossed.
Hailey: "Why did ya'll decide to become a band?" I figured the question was easy enough. Marc jumped right in to answer.
Marc: *waves his feather boa a bit and pushes up his pink sunglasses* "To meet some sexy fellahs of course!"
Patrick: *looks at him in fear* "Please not again... that really hurt last time... I don't like men!" He bursts into tears while Marc just keeps checking him out.
Ben: *puts his arms around Patrick* "Shh, it's okay."
At that moment Lorrian looks at me. J is no where to be seen. How could we forget the adorably cute fifth member?
Lorrian: "Ummm guys, where's J? We kind of need him here to do the interview too..."
Michael: *Sighs* "Fine... I'll go let him out of his cage. But if he bites anyone he is going RIGHT back in there."
I am disturbed beyond belief at that moment and was considering leaving. But, being a good journalist means that sometimes you have to stick through the weird @#%$ so I decided to stay. It was early, there was still hope that this interview could be saved.
A moment later Michael comes back pulling something on a leash. He gives it a kick and we can hear a whimper and whatever was on the leash went limp.
Michael: "Damnit J get the @#%$ up!" *begins pulling on the leash as hard as he can dragging J across the floor*
J is laying on the floor at Michael's feet. He looks up at us with large eyes and lets out a cry like a wounded animal.
Lorrian: "Don't you think you should be a littler nicer to your band mate?"
They all look at her.
Michael: "No... he's only here for our amusement. The other day I was trying to teach him how to fetch but the damn thing is too dumb." *kicks J once again causing J to let out a whimper*
Ben: *gets angry* "What did I tell you about kicking J? If you do it again he's going to be taken away.
Michaels ticks out his tongue."
Michael: *Shakes his head* "Anyway, the other day I was trying to teach him to fetch. When he couldn't do it I wrapped him in bubble wrap and put him in the microwave."
Lorrian who was sitting beside me starts to gag and runs to the bathroom.
Michael: *laughs* "Wait! That's not even the best part. I put popcorn kernels in the bubble wrap too. So that way when it started to get hot they'd pop at him!"
Ben: "That was horrible of you! I had to take poor J out of the microwave. The kitchen smelt like burnt flesh, it was the grossest thing!"
A few minutes later Lorrian comes back.
Hailey: "Okay, let's just get this straight. We're going to ask you some questions and you're going to answer them. Please try to answer them being as SANE as possible. after all people are going to read what you're saying."
Ben: *jumps up* Hey! "Who said you could write anything down? You better not write anything bad about us! No, no put down the pen! Stooooop." Ben began to whine
Lorrian:*rubs her temples because she's getting a migrane* "Ben… in an interview, you write down what the people you are interviewing say."
Ben: *looks at her unbelieving. "Nu-uh! No way, you are sooo lying!"
Hailey: "It's true. Now will you just sit down?"
Ben goes and sits back down. Patrick has stopped crying and is sitting as far away from Marc as humanly possible. After all, he's afraid of what might happen if Marc gets too close. Sitting there Lorrian and I try to think up some questions that won't be too "hard" for them to answer.
Lorrian: "Do you have any pets?"
Right away she realizes it was a stupid question. Michael is no longer holding J's leash and he jumps up into my lap panting with his tongue stuck out.
Hailey: "Um yeah, hi?"
J: *growls when I try to get him off my lap*
Patrick: "You've got to scratch him behind his ear." He explains.
Hailey: "Holy @#%$ you are so @#%$ up!" But I listen to him and scratch J behind the ear.
J: *foot starts thumping and his tongue lolls out of his mouth*
It didn't take me long to get him off of my lap. He walked off in back no one paying attention to where he was going.
Hailey: "What do you do for fun when you're not working?"
I don't even understand why I was trying to continue with the interview, we were getting no where and it didn't look like things were going to be getting any better.
Marc: *laughs so hard that tears fall and wipes it with his finger so his eye liner won't smudge* Well hun, that depends. Some days I like to dress Patrick up in these darling little outfits. I mean, pink bows, frills… the works! He looks absolutely adorable, almost good enough to eat! *winks at Patrick and licks his lips*
Patrick: *begins to whimper once again*
Marc: And other days I like to play darts with Patrick, if you know what I mean *winks*. He's not very willing but DAMN is he the best I've ever had.
Patrick: *Starts to cry* I hate you Marc I hate you! *runs out back*
As Patrick ran away he scared a playful J up front. He came prancing forward with a half chewed up high heel in his mouth.
Marc: *furiously* "J you little mut! Give me that back! That is my $200 pair of Gucci high heels! Ugh, look the straps are falling off. Do you know how hard it is to get them in MY size? Give it back! *Starts wrestling with J*
J: *lets out a playful squeal and shakes his head back and forth not letting go of the shoe*
It seems as if J is having a game of tug o' war.
Michael: "Damnit J give it back! What did I tell you about eating shoes? That's it… you leave me no choice. *runs into the back of the bus where he can't be seen before returning* In his hand he has a menu. "I'm selling you to a Chinese restaurant so they can make Terriaki out of you!" He starts chasing J around.
Lorrian looks at me and we decide it's best if we leave. We're going to have to have a word with Glenda. We were promised an interview, this wasn't an interview it was a mentally retarded circus!
Hailey: *gags* I feel bad for Patrick's butt!
Lorrian:*looks as if she's going to hurl* Eww, butt darts… ew ew ew!
plz vote for GNH as one of the hottest 50 ezboards!
Edited by: BeN bLeDsoEs pLaYtOy 4EvA at: 4/6/02 9:04:34 pm
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