New Start...
Hello Everyone. My name is Breana and I am a seventeen year old senior. My sister (19) has an eating disorder. It gets better, then it gets worse, then better, then worse. Right now it is worse. We are slowly growing apart and I miss her. I miss me. But I mostly miss how all of our lives used to be.
My sister is beautiful, intelligent, and so much more. However, she can not see this. My father is slowly giving up. He spends most of his time at work, where he can get away from it all. My step-mom, well it's almost as if she condones my sister's behavior. Sometimes, I think she wishs that I was anorexic. And sometimes...I wish I was too.
This is beginning to tire me out. My sister needs help. I love her so much. I still look up to her. She is everything I've ever wanted to be. Funny, smart, beautiful, athletic.
This is all I am going to write for now. This is actually harder then what I thought it would be. I will post again soon. Thank you to all of those who take the time to read this. Best Wishes....Bre
Meggs M Admin/Moderator
Posts: 43
(25/3/04 2:14 pm) Reply
Re: New Start...
Hey Breana,
So glad that you posted and visited this site. It is the hardest thing to watch someone you love struggle in this way.
I have to warn you, we don't really have many members on the site yet as its fairly new, and as you've mentioned, posting on such a sensitive topic can be really hard, but I will try to post as much as I can until we get more members.
As you've obviously guessed and refered to in your post, it is most likely that your sister is struggling to cope with the whole situation and it sounds like bulimia might be her "control" mechanism right now. I also know what you mean when you talk about how it gets better, and then worse etc. So true...sometimes you wish it was a more straighforward illness that you could just get a shot or a pill for and it will go away, but unfortunately its not like that.
I can just say, I know what you are going through. One of the worst things for family and friends is the way the person isolates themselves and pulls away. All I can say from my experience is you've just gotta keep trying to stay close and show them how much you care and will always be there.
Hope you can browse around the site and find some useful info.
Re: New Start...
Thank you so much for replying. I feel almost horrible...I am the one who is on this website seeking encouragement and advice..when in reality it should be my sister doing this. She is the one with the eating disorder...but yet I am the one seeking some sort of attention. Why is that?
My sister (Alex) is getting thinner day by day, and day by day my heart is breaking. I am no longer able to function properly in every day life. I feel like her sickness is taking over me as well as her. I feel as if I should not be feeling this way. She is the one who needs help...and I don't know how to help her. She always yells at me telling me how I think I am perfect, and that I haev no worries. That is not true. I don't think I am prefect and I too have worries.
I'm probably not making any sense right now, and for that I apologize. It is getting late, and I have had a long day. Again, thank you for posting. I have notived that this is a new site and I wish you the best of luck. Thanks. Breana
Meggs M Admin/Moderator
Posts: 49
(25/3/04 3:35 pm) Reply
Re: New Start...
Hey Breana - You are not seeking attention - you are seeking SUPPORT - and that is what this board is for. I have been/am going through this with a close friend, and I can only imagine the pain of going through it with a sibling who you obviously love so dearly!!!
It seems that you are still living with Alex - does she know you know about the bulimia???
Re: New Start...
Alex goes to a university but she commutes and still lives at home, with me, my step-mom and my father. We are the only ones who know about her eating disorder, and I am not supposed to tell anyone. I promised Alex that I wouldn't.
I'm not having such a good day today. Alex said some hurtful things, and my appetite is slowly decreasing. I'm home on lunch break but I have to get back to school now. Thanks. Breana
Re: New Start...
Hi
My name is Bec and I just want to welcome you to Megg's site. I am glad you found it.
I have had ED's (mostly anorexia with small bouts of bulimia) for over 10yrs now.
I am a very close friend of Meggs and she has been there for me through my ED and admissions into the treatment clinics. She is very understanding and I know you will get a lot of support by coming here.
I am sorry to hear about your sister and I know how tough it must be for your whole family.
Hang in there babes.
Re: New Start...
Thanks so much Bec. 10 years huh? Wow, that is a long time. I can't imagine going through this with my sister for one more day...let alone even a year. This is such a hard "issue" to deal with.
Alex turns 20 in 3 days. She's just falling apart...I don't know. I'm sorry I can't do this right now...Best wishs to all...Bre
It surely is.. for both the sufferer, family and friends.
It is very hard because the disease is so mis-understood. A lot of people think that it is an attention seeking thing, but really there are so many underlying issues surrounding the disease.
You know what.. most of the time it is not even about the weight, the calories ect it is about filling our minds with these thoughts to numb out the emmotional pain we are going through.
Take care of yourself hun. You need to try and be strong for your sister.
I know you will get a lot of support and information here.
Re: New Start...
Hi sweetheart I am sorry I am so late to this. You are in a really hard position and you are not attention seeking, you need support too. To watch your sister fade like this has got to be very hard for you. I am worried about a couple of comments that you have made about your own eating habits, do you feel that you may be in danger of starting an eating disorder of your own?
Re: New Start...
Thank you for replying Annie. No, I do not feel that I am in danger of an eating disorder. I am fine really. Thanks.
It is hard watching Alex go through this. But she will be fine, she has too. And so will I. Eventually everything will work out.
Meggs M Admin/Moderator
Posts: 50
(29/3/04 1:47 pm) Reply
Re: New Start...
Hey Breana,
(Sorry I don't post on the weekends as I'm on the computer all week at work and don't have any desire to check it on the weekends). Hang in there, it's incredibly tough when you are worrying yourself sick about someone...I know...
Just know we are there for you...
With regard to your "not being supposed to tell anyone" well I have two things to say about that. Firstly, this board is pretty anonomous (I mean, I'm not going to bump into an "Alex" on the street and go "hey, is your sister Breana?? etc) so the chances of her ever finding out is pretty remote and secondly, this is something that is really worrying you and sometimes you have to be able to talk about these things objectively with people who understand. The best thing you can do is try to talk to her/ask her about why she is doing this to herself, and if she knows what both the short and long term consequences are?? Then, if she wants help, you're in a position to give it.
Most of all you just need to keep loving and supporting her.
Well I am glad to hear that babe, sometimes it is hard not to get triggered into these things by others. Does your sister get any proffessional support?
Re: New Start...
I had a horrible day. And to answer your question annie...no my sister does not get profession help. Too tierd to write right now. Hope everyone is well. Bre
Re: New Start...
Well, Alex seems to be getting worse, and we are fighting more and more. We are supposed to leave this Thursday for spring break to cancun. Alex, me, my step- mom our friends, and some of our friends moms. I've been looking forward to this, but the more I think about it, i was looking forward to it so I could get away from here, and yet all of the people that I wanted to get away from- are going with me to cancun.
I will make the best of it though. I bought a new bathing suit today....I don't really like how it looks on me now that I've tried it on a billion times. I've been going to the gym to try and shape up....did a good work out tonight-2 hours- made me feel good- but I am a bit tired now.
I think I am majorly stressed. I was in the showe rthis morniong (getting ready for school) and I was washing my hair....I pu the shampoo in it, washed it, and then stood under the water to rinse it out- well a clump of hair fell out...I literally screamed. It freaked me out.
I'm hoping tha tis normal, concidering the amount of stress I am under. But still- it scared me.
Anyways, I hope all of you are having a good week so far. Take care Breana
Meggs M Admin/Moderator
Posts: 51
(31/3/04 4:08 pm) Reply
Re: New Start...
Well mine falls out all the time too so I HOPE its normal hehe...
Have you talked to Alex about his at all?? Does she know what she is doing is dangerous? Does she know how it is affecting you?? I'm sure even though you are fighting a lot (which is pretty normal if she is pushing you away which is often what happens) she knows how much you love her and will appreciate (maybe not now but eventually) you butting in...
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