June 1st - June 19th
It's almost summer! The last few weeks of school have come, and students will need to study hard for their final exams! Don't let up yet, or your grades won't be what you want them to. Of course, the weather is almost perfect and pristine, in attempts to lure students away from their studies.
Lucian was sixteen now, and he had been since 3:05 am that morning. Lucian had hardly been able to sleep all night, not necessarily because it meant he would be turning sixteen, but because he was in a relationship, which meant that this day would be particularly special. Lucian found that he absolutely loved every waking moment that he spent with Armand, but now it was practically a given that the day would be ten times better. It wasn't Armand's duty to take everything into his own hands, but Lucian did hope that they'd spend a lot of time together being lovey dovey. Lucian wasn't the type who enjoyed large parties, or even small ones. After all, who would be invited to a party for him? There were only a handful of people who knew him that he wasn't petrified of. Lucian felt that maybe a day spent just with Armand would be best.
Not that Lucian had had much time to think about his birthday recently. He had been busy helping Armand through his trials. Lucian had been so busy trying to be there for Armand that he had almost completely forgotten about himself. His grades had been slipping, because when he wasn't with Armand, he was worrying about Armand. Lucian had always been quite adept when it came to things like worrying, especially when they were things that he cared about. Lucian's strong feelings for Armand were only clarified with the fact that he was always worried about him. It had been an owl arriving on the first that had reminded Lucian that his birthday was coming up. Lucian had nearly dropped the letter in his plate of bacon and eggs when he read John's words. "Happy Birthday man! I'll send you an awesome present. Don't worry." Naturally, Lucian had run to the Slytherin table to tell Armand right away, earning himself a few disgruntled looks and leers. But Lucian had been completely oblivious to those looks.
Sixteen was an important age, but most of the time girls were the only ones that benefited. In the muggle world, when you were sixteen you got your driver's license. Lucian should probably look into getting one of those over the summer, because he came from a muggle home and would be expected to drive around running errands for his family. Lucian sighed slightly, wondering what it was like to have a 'Sweet Sixteen'. "You can be a boy and have a sweet birthday right?" Lucian had asked himself when the clock hit four am, after singing himself a quiet 'happy birthday to me' song. He had shifted in his bed and flopped onto his pillow, hoping that Armand would spend the whole day together. What would they do? They had agreed to meet in the Student Center to spend some serious cuddle time together, but they couldn't spend the whole day cuddling, could they? I wonder if I'll get any presents... Lucian had wondered suddenly as he put his hands behind his head. No you shouldn't expect a present stupid! It's too late notice. Armand wouldn't have had a chance to get anything. Lucian had smiled to himself, perfectly content with just spending the day with Armand. No Presents attached.
The mere fact that the two would be spending the day together was present enough. Lucian and Armand had saved their relationship, and Armand had finally opened up to Lucian. Lucian had learned about Armand, and Armand's past, which was certainly enough to make Lucian deliriously happy. So, as he was heading down to the Student Center several minutes early, Lucian wasn't expecting anything particularly special. No material present could surpass the fact that they were together.
Lucian shuffled his way to the Student Center. It was just before lunchtime, so he was getting a little hungry. He had grabbed his Christmas present from his sister, and slipped into the new clothes that his mother had sent him. No matter what holiday it happened to be, his mother seemed to send him clothes. And they were always welcome, because Lucian usually had either worn through or grown out of his previous clothes. Now, he was wearing his new light blue jeans and a white t-shirt that had pink-burgundy sleeves and a small matching pink-burgundy square on the front. Half-on top of the square, there was a box, outlined in the same pink color with different patterns of HTML. At home, Lucian was regarded as the only person aside from Amy or John who knew about computers. John and Amy had moved out, so his mother was regularly calling upon him to help her when the computer went dead. Often, Lucian wondered how she survived when he was away at school and had no one to help her out. From his sister, he had received the usual weird fashion gifts. She sent him a strange string-like bracelet from India and a strange black fuzzy hat that looked as though it had giant dog ears on either side. Lucian felt slightly guilty for not wanting to wear the hat, so he had tied the bracelet around his wrist to make up for it.
As Lucian poked his head into the Student Center, he saw that it was deserted. Lucian smiled, happy to have the place to himself for a few minutes. He practically skipped over to the couch in front of the unlit fireplace, flopping down and kicking off his shoes before pulling his legs up onto the couch. He looked at the box in his hands, turning it over. His sister was in Japan researching the new popular bohemian fashion. She was a fashion designer, so it was her duty to stay up on such things. Being the loving big sister she was, she had sent him something from Japan, that had been identified by one of Lucian's friend as something called Pocky. It was strawberry flavored, apparently, but Lucian still had no idea what any of the writing on it meant. Lucian opened the box tentatively, looking at the small pink and silver pouches inside. He frowned and pulled out one of the long plastic-like bags and opened it, revealing the pocky sticks. He pulled one out, eyeing it for a moment. Half of it looked like some sort of bread substance, and the other half of it was covered in some sort of strawberry frosting thing. He grabbed the bread end and stuck the tip of the strawberry end into his mouth, biting it off.
"Mmf." He murmured pleasantly, enjoying the dry-strawberry flavor. Soon he had wolfed down the entire stick, and had licked his finger of it's crumbs. Sixteen Sixteen Sixteen.. Lucian repeated in a sing-song voice over and over in his head. One year closer to making my age gap with Armand seem less weird! Now he's only two years older! Hah. Lucian smiled cheerily and popped another pocky stick into his mouth, munching on it as he waited for Armand.
So. Armand had decided he was rubbish when it came to wrapping gifts.
He'd made this decision a few years ago, but he'd just thought he'd remind himself once again as he glaced at the badly wrapped present he was supposed to give to Lucian in a few minutes. The exact shape of the object was just about unknown and it seemed to have lumps where there probably shouldn't have been. Armand had also run out of wrapping paper and, having been too much in a hurry to go out and get some more or find someone with paper, had finished wrapping the present with pages from the newspaper as well as some of his less-attractive essays he'd gotten back. All in all, the gift looked like a complete mess, but, as he stared at it, Armand supposed it was what was in it that really counted, and he knew Lucian would love what was in it. Well, knowing Lucian, he would love whatever was inside no matter what it was and Armand knew that. But he'd caused so much drama in the poor boy's life already, not to mention he really cared about him and wanted to give him something special. It was his sixteenth birthday, after all.
Although it probably didn't mean as much in the Wizarding World, Lucian was, after all, Muggleborn, not to mention it just felt like a special year. It meant he only had one more year until he came of age in the Wizarding World, meaning one more year of being a child. Once he was seventeen, Lucian would be able to do things he hadn't been able to do previously, like get his apparition license, do magic outside of school, among other things. And then, a year after that, he would be legal in every sense by the laws of Britain. So, in a sense, becoming sixteen was the beginning of the end for Lucian, and Armand was going to be with him for it.
The two had gone through quite a few trials lately and at one point Armand hadn't been sure things were ever going to work out. But Lucian had helped him and taken care of him and Armand wasn't about to forget that. If anything, all the problems they'd had to go through had made the couple become closer and Armand was feeling better than ever. He hadn't fully recovered from all the trauma, not to mention he'd decided to simply ignore his father, but still, he was getting better and Lucian's support was helping his recovery. The drugs were gone and the addictions were disappearing again. Although Armand would probably never be fully weened off of alcohol, he'd brought it down to the level it had been before, with him just drinking when he had a reason. He would have been lying if he said he hadn't thought of sneaking some whiskey to the Student Center to celebrate Lucian's birthday, but he'd decided against it. Besides, he didn't want Lucian to become like him. True, Armand had somewhat rubbed off on the Hufflepuff, but just the same, Armand wanted it to be the good stuff.
Finally deciding that his wrapping was not salvagable, Armand just changed his shirt (he had some strange desire to look halfway decent today) and picked up his present before heading out of the door. The gift was rather large and Armand found himself having a bit more trouble than usual, but he somehow managed to get out of the dormitories and down the stairs with the minimal amount of bruising. Once he was in the corridors though, he was in the clear. He managed to straighten out his olive green collared shirt before heading in the general direction of the Student Center. Things seemed to go fine unless someone happened to be walking down the same hallway, but Armand somehow managed to manuever his way around so he didn't completely maim anyone. There might have been a little maiming, but not a lot. And Armand remembered to apologize. Not that that fixed any broken bones that could have been caused by the situation, but at least he was being polite.
Upon reaching the door to the Student Center, Armand, once again, wrestled with the present until he managed to get in the right position to actually get in. And once he did, he was pleasantly surprised to see that the room was empty, save the ginger-haired boy who was plopped down on the couch. Grinning, Armand moved toward the couch, set the present on the floor to give him maximum movement range, and leapt onto the couch. He was careful not to crush Lucian, but it was in his nature to be a little rough and he pinned the boy to the couch before grinning and giving the boy a light kiss. "Happy birthday," he chirped. "Feeling any older? Any epiphanies? I hear those things are always nice to have on sixteenth birthday." He laughed before straightening up so he wasn't lying on top of Lucian anymore and, rather, was sitting back on his heels on the couch.
Dark eyes glanced over to the large, somewhat awkwardly wrapped thing on the floor and the Slytherin grinned. "And, since it's your birthday, it's only natural that you get presents, so..." he jumped off the couch and walked over to the present that was a bit aways from where the couch was. He kneeled down and gave the thing a push and watched as it slid across the floor before lightly bumping into the couch and coming to a halt. "I got you a present that kicks arse." Armand grinned. Indeed, he believed the present was very kick ass and Armand had to use a lot of willpower not to keep it for himself. Using the money his parents had given him for Christmas, Armand had bought Lucian and brand new acoustic guitar. It hadn't exactly been cheap, but the Slytherin hadn't cared whatsoever. Besides, he felt Lucian deserved something like this from him for all he did, so it was more like a thank-you plus birthday present.
The acoustic guitar was the typical acoustic guitar shape, but it was a sleek black in color and had a design of a humming bird drinking from a vine of flowers engraved in white. Armand had even gone as far as to buy Lucian a nice, hardshell case for it, since he always thought that an instrument always required a hardshell case. No serious musician would ever leave their most prized possession in the cheap, cloth case that came with it. One would have to be suicidal. And although Armand knew Lucian didn't play guitar, he had the talent for it. After all, he was a singer and knew music, thus it wouldn't be that hard for him to pick up an instrument. And what better instrument than the guitar?
"I thought it was about time you got one," Armand said, giving Lucian a wink.
Re: Risking Absurdity [2.03.09] ISO: Armand
Having someone to spend his sixteenth birthday with was enough to make Lucian's day. He didn't have a particularly large amount of friends, so he couldn't imagine what he would have spent his day doing if he didn't have Armand to hang out with. Most likely, he would have hung around Fefe, and maybe Devon. In the past, Lucian had been a little frightened of Devon, but now that Lucian had gotten to know someone like Armand, Devon seemed like child's play. I wonder how I could show Armand how happy and thankful I am now.. Lucian wondered to himself as he leaned back against the couch, flicking his ginger hair out of his eyes. The past few months had been tough. Things had seemed to fall apart one after another when December hit. It had started with Armand getting in that fight, and then spiraled down from there. Lucian supposed that the 'being secretive' part had begun right from the start of their relationship, but Lucian hadn't really noticed any of it until December.
But now, Lucian felt as though he had nothing to worry about. Nothing was exploding, nothing was falling apart. Lucian could just be content. It had been tough, initially, to pull Armand apart from his addictions. Most of this was because Armand had fallen so far so fast, and it was a huge struggle to get himself back to a ledge where he could then work back, away from his addictions, with a little more ease. Lucian had become more worn out from helping Armand than he had ever felt from practicing hours upon end at Quidditch. Lucian supposed that that was because that this climb was an emotional one, and a physical one, where Quidditch just focused on your physical skills. Well at least I can cross 'save our relationship' off of my resolution list. Lucian thought, munching on another pocky stick while he waited. If he didn't slow down, he'd probably need a glass of water soon. Now I should probably work on that 'buff up' one... Not that I need it to keep Armand interested anymore. Maybe. Mmf.. Lucian still wasn't sure what type of person Armand preferred, but whatever it was, Lucian didn't want to fall short of expectations. He certainly had a lot to live up to.
Lucian was lost in his thoughts, like usual, so he hardly noticed the sound that the guitar made as Armand placed it lightly against the floor. Lucian frowned lightly at the light noise and glanced over to Armand in time to see the older boy leaping into the air, sailing for Lucian and the couch. "Aaghpth" Lucian exclaimed as he was pounced, falling back easily under the weight of Armand. Lucian laughed and tried to push Armand's face away, tempted to try and push him completely off of the couch. "Happy birthday," he chirped. "Feeling any older? Any epiphanies? I hear those things are always nice to have on sixteenth birthday." Lucian grinned at Armand, "Oh yes, I feel ages older. And I've had bunches and bunches of epiphanies just since breakfast!" In reality Lucian hadn't had any earth shaking epiphanies. He had merely grown a bit nostalgic, and had started to miss being a little kid. The older he got, the further he got from having absolutely no responsibilities. He was actually accountable for his actions now. For some reason, Lucian felt a little older. In the first few hours, he had felt no different, but now he felt like he carried himself differently. He wasn't sure if this was because of his age, or because he had been hanging around Armand a lot since January. When they had been apart, Lucian had fallen back into his old habits ever so slightly, but now he was becoming himself again. He supposed that this proved that he needed Armand as much as Armand needed him.
Lucian nearly planted a kiss on Armand's lips when the older boy rocked back onto his heels, pulling away from Lucian so that the Hufflepuff was being pinned. "And, since it's your birthday, it's only natural that you get presents, so..." Lucian's eyes widened slightly at the word 'present'... He had a present? Armand had bought him something. Had Lucian been a dog, his tail would have most definitely been wagging at a mile a minute. Lucian neared the arm of the couch as Armand hopped to the floor, walking over to an extremely misshapen package. Lucian choked back a laugh, and hid his mouth against the arm rest as he saw the poorly wrapped package. Merlin, Armand was terrible at wrapping presents. Lucian's efforts to keep from laughing failed as he caught a glimpse of a few essays wrapped around whatever his present was supposed to be. Lucian began laughing, before he sat up and covered his hand with his mouth.
"I got you a present that kicks arse." Lucian grinned, trying not to laugh as Armand slid it over to the couch. "It's lovely," Lucian murmured, his voice quivering on the verge of laughter as he slid off the couch, so that his back was against the base of the couch. "I didn't expect a present," Lucian confessed, "I told you kind of last minute... I have to say; I'm quite impressed." He sat on the floor and turned toward the present, setting his pocky box on the floor before unwrapping it without hesitation and flinging the horrible excuse for wrapping paper off to the side. His eyes grew slightly as he recognized the shape of the present. It was a guitar, no doubt about it. When Lucian finished sending the last traces of wrapping paper sailing into the air, he paused, staring at the case. He had absolutely no idea how to play the guitar, and only had a vague idea of what it was like from hanging out with his new Emerald Flame friends. Lucian looked up at Armand, sending him a look that said 'I can't believe you got me this' before he shifted so that he was crouching by the case, opening it slowly.
Lucian's dark eyes nearly doubled in size at the sight of the gorgeous acoustic guitar in front of him. The shape was that of a traditional acoustic, but it appeared sleek in both color and general appearance. Lucian was almost afraid of touching it, because he had spent fifteen years being an extremely clumsy person. He drew his finger lightly along the white vine of flowers and hummingbird engraving before he looked back at Armand. No one had ever gotten Lucian something so expensive. Normal acoustics could end up being rather pricey, but something classy and sleek like this? How much had Armand spent on it? More importantly, how had he gotten it on such short notice? "I thought it was about time you got one,"
"Armand!" Lucian exclaimed, "This is brilliant! I don't think I've ever gotten a better present--" It was absolutely true. Lucian was used to receiving more humble gifts, and if they weren't humble then they were gag presents. Lucian scrambled forward, around his guitar, and threw his arms around Armand, "Thank you! It's brilliant! I love it! It's absolutely--amazing!" Lucian held onto Armand tightly before frowning and letting go a little so that he could look Armand in the eye, "It wasn't too expensive was it? Because you really shouldn't spend money on gifts like this, especially when you're so close to graduating and living on your own--"
Re: Risking Absurdity [2.03.09] ISO: Armand
Sixteen. Armand could hardly remember when he turned sixteen. It had been the year before he and Bobby had broken up, though he couldn’t quite remember what he’d done. No one had actually thrown a party for him or anything, and he’d had to plan one himself, which hadn’t been all that bad. It wasn’t as if the Slytherin was lacking in the ability to plan parties, after all. But despite having the big party, it had been a bit lonely without the one person he’d wanted to spend the day with. He would have had it the other way with being able to spend the day with Bobby and not having a giant party, which was exactly what was happening with Lucian. And that was one of the reasons Armand wanted to make this day good. He didn’t want anything to ruin it and wanted Lucian to look back on this day a few years in the future and smile at the memory. Perhaps it wouldn’t be the most memorable and perhaps it wouldn’t be the most exciting, but at least it would be a good memory. That much Armand wanted Lucian to have.
Of course, he also knew the memory of this day would be somewhat tainted by all that had gone on in the past month or so, but Armand was determined to brush those thoughts away. He had been, for the most part, sober since Lucian had thrown those drugs out the window and he didn’t intend on getting back into his addictions. He hadn’t completely wiped it out of his vocabulary, but Armand was determined to keep things down to a minimum. He didn’t want to risk getting dependent again, not to mention he didn’t want to risk nearly losing Lucian again. For all he knew, the next time, there could be no getting back together, and Armand didn’t want that.
But Armand didn’t want to think of any depressing thoughts right now. Right now he was just focused on making this day work and tackling Lucian. The let out an, "Aaghpth" which was perfectly satisfying to the older boy and he couldn’t help but laugh. Lucian was laughing as well and attempted to push Armand’s face away, but Armand wouldn’t be pushed. He remained where he was, occasionally dodging Lucian’s hands by moving his head and kept himself firmly planted atop Lucian. "Oh yes, I feel ages older. And I've had bunches and bunches of epiphanies just since breakfast!" Lucian replied and Armand just laughed. He could tell the boy was just joking. After all, no one really felt all that different on their sixteenth birthdays unless they were the protagonist of a chick flick, in which case, all their wildest dreams would come true on (or a day after, in Molly Ringwald’s case).
As Armand jumped off of Lucian to go fetch the present, he heard Lucian trying to suppress a laugh. With a feigned sigh, Armand said, “Laugh if you must,” and sure enough, Lucian seemed to be unable to suppress his laughter. Armand himself had to admit, his wrapping was quite ridiculous, but the point was, it was wrapped, right? It was always the thought that counted and Armand had had a very big, expensive thought. But Armand hadn’t cared. It wasn’t as if he were going to use money to actually buy himself something useful, anyway. He always got money to buy new clothes or some extra food when he went down to Hogsmeade, but the Slytherin only spent a fraction of the money on those things and, instead, spent it on other, less necessary things. So buying something useful for Lucian seemed the best way to spend his money, not to mention he just wanted to buy something nice for him. The boy definitely deserved it and Armand wanted to show him how much he meant to him.
"It's lovely," Lucian murmured, and Armand stuck his tongue out at the Hufflepuff. "I didn't expect a present,"Lucian confessed, "I told you kind of last minute... I have to say; I'm quite impressed."
Armand grinned, sitting back on his heels as he lowered himself to the floor. “Hey, this is the great Armand you’re talking about. I have great and mystical powers,” he said with a wink. “Now open if before I do.”
Armand watched eagerly as Lucian set some sort of box he was holding on the floor and sat down. He immediately began tearing off the various different things Armand had used for paper. It seemed to take quite a while for the whole thing to get unwrapped, but Armand could tell the Hufflepuff was beginning to realize what it was. And when it was finally unwrapped, the Slytherin could have laughed at the look on Lucian’s head. “Go ahead,” he said, coaxing Lucian to open the case. And the boy complied and Armand almost leaned forward as Lucian slowly opened the case. The boy’s eyes suddenly got very wide and Armand grinned. Merlin, he was cute when he was surprised like that. The Slytherin continued to watch in silence as Lucian rain his fingers over the details of the guitar, obviously in complete awe of the instrument. Armand would have been too, if he’d gotten something like that. But he didn’t mind. When he’d first seen the guitar he wanted it for himself, but he’d already had a guitar, not to mention his love had always been with his bass, not his guitar.
"Armand!" Lucian exclaimed, "This is brilliant! I don't think I've ever gotten a better present--" Armand wanted to stand up and take a bow, but instead he just shrugged as though it were not big deal. Of course, then Lucian threw his arms around him and the Slytherin laughed, happily returning the hug. "Thank you! It's brilliant! I love it! It's absolutely--amazing!" But Lucian’s excitement was put on hold for a moment as he leaned back to look at Armand with a frown. "It wasn't too expensive was it? Because you really shouldn't spend money on gifts like this, especially when you're so close to graduating and living on your own--"
“You,” Armand interrupted. “Should not be worrying about that, my dear. It is your birthday and you should be overwhelmed with joy. What I do with my money is none of your concern. But if you insist on badgering me about how much I spend on certain things, do it tomorrow. Today, you just enjoy yourself.”
Re: Risking Absurdity [2.03.09] ISO: Armand
Throwing those drugs out of the window had possibly been the best action that Lucian had ever taken before in his life. Obviously, the two had spent the past few weeks recuporating from their split, but most of Lucian's time had been spent worrying about Armand. He had done everything he could to get Armand's mind off of drugs, and alcohol. Of course he knew that it was impossible for Armand to stop drinking completely. Drinking was a way to be social and to celebrate. All Armand had to do was limit his drinking habits to that they were not detrimental to his, or anyone else's health. The drugs were far more worrying for Lucian. Alcohol was something that someone could abstain from, but drugs? That was another matter. Drugs had undeniable cravings. At least, that is what Lucian had concluded from his time spent with Armand. After the drugs had been thrown out of the window, the cravings had begun. It was almost animalistic, the way Armand had responded to the lack of stimulants in his body... Lucian had no idea what sort of permanent damage the drugs had done to Armand's body, but he didn't want to worry about that.
All Lucian could do was be happy that it was his sixteenth birthday, and that he was spending it with Armand. Lucian knew now, almost definitely, that he cared for Armand more than he cared for anyone. Lucian knew what love was, because he had loved his brother John and he had loved Temper. They were two very different forms of love, and Lucian was now positive that love was not quite as easy to read as he had once assumed. There were certain manifestations of love, and each one meant a different thing. Did Lucian love Armand? Lucian's dark eyes locked onto his boyfriend for a moment, and he smiled. Yes. He did. He loved everything about Armand. The way his hair fell, the way he wore his uniform, and especially his devil-may-care attitude. Was it the same love that he had felt for Temper? Of course not. She had been special, she had been different. She had been the first. Lucian's feelings for Armand were almost completely different than they had been for Temper, but they were described with the same word. Love.
Lucian's cheeks flushed lightly as he thought about this, his arms wrapped tightly around Armand. Love. Right. How was he supposed to respond to something like that? How was Armand supposed to respond toward that? Lucian knew that Armand probably didn't love him... He knew now that Armand cared deeply for him, but caring for someone and loving them were two completely different things. Loving someone meant that you wanted to give the world to them... Caring for them meant that you never wanted to be apart from them. Lucian knew that, more than loving Armand, he was in love with him. What was the difference between the two? Loving someone meant that you wanted only their happiness. There was no selfishness involved. But being in love with someone? There was a sense of longing that was undeniable. A desperate need that made you want to be with them as much as possible.
Merlin. Lucian couldn't tell Armand. Armand would probably turn tail and run away as soon as the words 'I love you' left Lucian's lips. In reality, Lucian knew that it wasn't this way, but he couldn't help but be afraid. He hadn't been afraid of telling Temper... He had been so sure of her reaction, there had been no fear. It had been so simple. So easy. How could it possibly be so difficult now? Did he love Armand more? Lucian sighed softly. Just don't think about it... He told himself silently. Just.. Ignore it and it will go away?... Haha right. That's a stupid thought. Way to go Lucian. All you can do now is let it work itself out. Don't ignore it, don't deny it. Just. Don't tell anyone. He closed his eyes for a moment before glancing back at his present. He grinned and resisted the urge to let out a happy chirp before he tightened his hold on Armand. "I love it. Now all I have to do is learn guitar, eh?" He was still silently worrying about the money aspect of the present... He suddenly felt as though he needed to buy something expensive for Armand in return.
“You,” Armand interrupted. “Should not be worrying about that, my dear. It is your birthday and you should be overwhelmed with joy. What I do with my money is none of your concern. But if you insist on badgering me about how much I spend on certain things, do it tomorrow. Today, you just enjoy yourself.”
"Mmf." Lucian grunted happily, "Well someone needs to worry about it.." he muttered quietly. "Merlin knows that you certainly don't worry enough." He sat there in silence for a moment, his arms still around Armand, "Thank you." He added, "A lot. This is probably the best present I've ever gotten." It was a perfectly true statement. Lucian's family was always low on money, so they had usually made presents or bought cheap gifts. Lucian of course was thankful for everything he ever received, but for the past few years he had told his parents not to spend their money on him. They needed their money for more expensive presents for Simon and Laurel. Being younger, presents were more important to them. For Lucian, gifts (expensive or not) had somehow lost their importance. Lucian wasn't known to have many friends, and although the friends that he had gave him great presents, they weren't anything like this.
"Do you happen to know where I can get someone to teach me guitar?" Lucian asked with a grin, planting a giant kiss on Armand's cheek. He paused for a moment, glancing down at his discarded box of pocky. "Hey, Come on, let me share these with you." He untangled himself from Armand and snatched the box up from where he had dropped it on the floor. "They're great. My big sister Amy sent them to me for Christmas." He hopped onto the couch, curling his feet under him. "They're delicious." He held out the box, wiggling it temptingly in front of Armand.
Re: Risking Absurdity [2.03.09] ISO: Armand
Even more than Lucian, Armand worried about his withdrawal. He knew the inevitable cravings that came with trying to quit drugs and he knew that it wasn't easy. He'd done it once already, but that was with professional help. Of course, this time, his drug use hadn't been as extensive and as long as it had been the first time, but his body had gotten used to having the stimulants in his body nonetheless and being suddenly deprived of them was difficult. The first few days had been especially hard and Armand found himself shaking and shivering, unable to calm his nerves, and oftentimes breaking into a sweat. This usually happened at night and the Slytherin would toss and turn in his bed, trying to fight the cravings to find some artificial way to calm himself. But he'd fought and during the day, Armand did whatever he could to act like everything was fine. He would put on his Slytherin mask and go on as though nothing was wrong, and sure enough, as the days wore on, Armand was starting to feel better. The cravings were still there, but he was able to resist them easier.
And Lucian helped him a lot with that. Even though Armand didn't let on how difficult trying to stay sober was, the Hufflepuff's unwavering support helped immensely. It was from him that Armand was able to draw the strength to continue. Before, the Slytherin really had no reason to be sober, except to follow his mother's wishes. But now, he had a reason. If he caved now, he wouldn't just be letting himself down, but he'd be letting Lucian down as well, and Armand wasn't willing to do that. He cared about the Hufflepuff too much to be a disappointment. For a long time, Armand had contemplated whether that feeling was love. He'd had experience with love before, but it was so much more different with Lucian than it had been with Bobby. With Bobby, the love had been wild, passionate, and intense, while with Lucian, Armand had a sense of security, like he could always count on the boy to be there for him. He was willing to sacrifice anything for Lucian.
But Armand was afraid to acknowledge whether that was really love he was feeling. Above all, he feared that word and that emotion, because admitting that he loved Lucian meant that he was giving a part of himself to someone. He was leaving himself vulnerable and they could crush him easily if they felt like it. While Armand knew Lucian would never purposely hurt him, that's what happened with relationships. Neither party meant it at first, but in the end it came down to it. And broken hearts were something not so easily healed, at least not with Armand. Because it was so hard for him to bear his soul to someone, if they happened to abuse him or hurt him, he tended to retreat farther and farther into himself. If he were to receive another blow like the one he'd received when he and Bobby broke up, he wasn't sure what'd happen to him. He might not be able to trust anyone again. Or maybe he'd turn back to abusing drugs and alcohol. Armand didn't want to go back there, but at the same time, he wanted to feel that same complete and utter happiness he had when he'd finally realized he'd loved Bobby.
"I love it. Now all I have to do is learn guitar, eh?"
Armand almost flinched at the world 'love'. His mind had been focused so much on the matter of whether or not he loved Lucian that it was strange to hear that word come out of the boy's mouth, even if it wasn't aimed toward him. But Armand decided that today wasn't the day for him to contemplate that. After all, it was the boy's birthday and he deserved to have a good day. Worrying about things like love would be saved for another day, not now. Of course, Armand had a feeling Lucian was worrying, but not about love, but rather about how much the guitar had cost. The Hufflepuff was just that kind of person, but Armand really didn't care. He himself wasn't very materialistic and didn't really need so much money for himself anyway. He wasn't one to just throw away money, but he was willing to use it on other people, especially people who had helped him so much like Lucian. If anyone deserved the guitar, it was him.
"Mmf." Lucian grunted happily, "Well someone needs to worry about it.." he muttered quietly. "Merlin knows that you certainly don't worry enough." Armand laughed, still holding Lucian close to him. Yes, perhaps Armand should be worrying more about things, but he wasn't the type to worry. He liked to just move at his own pace and do what he wanted to do. Other people could worry about things for him. "Thank you." Lucian added, "A lot. This is probably the best present I've ever gotten."
"Hey, you deserve it," Armand relied, planting a kiss on the boy's head. I'd have bought you the world, if I could have afforded it, he added silently, smiling lovingly. He wished he could just admit his feelings, but he couldn't. He was too scared. He didn't want to ruin what they had by trying to take things to the next level. What if Lucian didn't return his feelings? What if Armand was just moving too fast like he always was? Armand didn't want to scare Lucian away and he certainly didn't want to pressure the Hufflepuff into thinking that he needed to say he loved Armand back. If anything, that would kill the Slytherin even more than knowing that Lucian didn't love him. Lying about one of the most delicate and powerful things in the world was just... horrible. Like Armand had told Lucian so many months ago, love is worth fighting for. And waiting for. Armand was picking himself off the floor and giving it another shot, and he would make it work this time. He would.
"Do you happen to know where I can get someone to teach me guitar?"
"Hmm... I would volunteer my skills, but unfortunately, my heart is bestown to an instrument with four strings," he said with a grin, as he contemplated some guitar players he knew. "What about Fefe? She's in your year and she plays a mean guitar. I'm sure she wouldn't mind giving you a few lessons." He winked at Lucian, laughing as the other boy planted a kiss on his cheek.
"Hey, Come on, let me share these with you." Lucian finally removed himself from Armand, though the Slytherin made a feigned attempt to keep the boy in his grasp. He eventually let the Hufflepuff escape though, and watched him as he continued to sit on the floor. "They're great. My big sister Amy sent them to me for Christmas." Armand watched, cocking his head to one side as Lucian jumped up on the couch. He wasn't exactly sure what was in the box, but he guessed it was food of some sort. And frankly, Armand wasn't one to resist food. Eating was the hobby of any boy, especially a teenage boy who had a fast metabolism. "They're delicious."
"I'll take your word for it," Armand said, before getting to his feet and walking over to where Lucian was on the couch. He kicked off his shoes as he sat down on the couch, placing one arm around Lucian's shoulder as he leaned over to look inside the box the Hufflepuff was dangling in front of him. "What are they and what should I expect?"
Re: Risking Absurdity [2.03.09] ISO: Armand
On late nights, when he was laying in his bed with his hands tucked underneath his head on top of his pillow, Lucian couldn't help but think of Armand. During the day, he could distract himself and stop worrying long enough to forget that any day, Armand might break down and get ahold of some new drugs. Lucian knew now that someone had sent Armand the drugs a long time ago, which meant that that certain someone could just as easily send more supplies. What would Armand do if he got ahold of more? The withdrawals were hard, especially because he had been so reliant on the drugs during the month that he and Armand hadn't spoken to each other. Lucian wished that he could have done something back then, before Armand began using the drugs. He mentally kicked himself over and over again for not noticing that something was wrong... But he had noticed. He just hadn't relied on his instincts. He had explained everything away, reasoning that there was nothing wrong with Armand. Armand would have told him if something was wrong -- right?
Wrong. Armand had told him very little in the beginning, and that had made matters worse. First of all it had made Armand completely alone in the matter, and second of all it made Lucian jump to false conclusions. Lucian knew now that he was partially to blame for Armand's relapse into drugs. If he had only been more understanding... If he hadn't been so selfish... But he couldn't worry about any of that now. It was all in the past, and if he wanted to focus on Armand now and help him now, then he had to stop worrying about what had happened and what could have happened. The fact was, that Armand needed someone to rely on. Before, he hadn't had anyone, so he had relied on the only thing that could take the pain away. Now that he had someone, Lucian was going to do everything in his power not to let Armand down.
The scariest part, was that Armand had seemed so much stronger than Lucian when they had first met, so why was it that Lucian was so vitally important to Armand's survival? Lucian could recognize now that Armand couldn't stand without some support from him -- at least for now. Lucian was sure that once he got over his addiction and stayed away from drugs that things would really be okay again. Lucian wouldn't have to lay awake wondering and worrying about whether or not Armand would give into temptation if he realized that Lucian's support wasn't enough to keep him from drowning. Were drugs really that amazing? Did they really numb you so much that you felt nothing? That you worried about nothing...? Lucian could see why something like that might be good for the heart in the beginning.. It would ease your mind and keep you from dealing with pain. But Lucian knew that there was nothing enticing about that for him, because he hadn't suffered pain or loss.
"Hmm... I would volunteer my skills, but unfortunately, my heart is bestown to an instrument with four strings," he said with a grin, as he contemplated some guitar players he knew. "What about Fefe? She's in your year and she plays a mean guitar. I'm sure she wouldn't mind giving you a few lessons."
Lucian grinned, "Yeah I could ask Fefe--" Lucian began, gazing fondly down at the guitar. "She might be busy breaking rules and trying to study but it could never hurt to ask." Normally Lucian would have added a 'but I don't want to impose' onto the end of that sentence, but he didn't. He had changed. He was confident enough to know that if Fefe thought he was imposing, she would tell him so herself, instead of worrying about it and being too afraid to ask for help in the first place. That is what Armand had done for him. He had brought a different level of confidence into Lucian's life. At first, the confidence had only been between him and Armand. Lucian could only act this way with his boyfriend, and had still been shy with others. Now, that confidence was branching out. He was beginning to be more confident with his close friends, and he hoped that once he became more comfortable, he could then be confident with acquaintances... He was still a bumbling fool when it came to strangers or people he didn't know. He was as shy as a rabbit when it came to them, but it was a start. The more he practiced, the more confident he could be with them.
As he hopped onto the couch, Lucian was pleased to see that Armand was very interested by the strange food that Lucian was dangling for him in the air. Lucian wasn't quite sure what they were himself, aside from some sort of foreign candy. "I'll take your word for it," Armand said, before getting to his feet and walking over to where Lucian was on the couch. He kicked off his shoes as he sat down on the couch, placing one arm around Lucian's shoulder as he leaned over to look inside the box the Hufflepuff was dangling in front of him. "What are they and what should I expect "Well." Lucian looked down at the box, "They're candy..." He pointed to the word on the front, "I think they're pronounced Pokey.. But that doesn't really make much sense because Pock doesn't sound at all like Poke. But Pocky sounds like a bit of a nonsense name doesn't it?" Lucian grinned, taking one out of the box, "Look a bit like fancy cigarettes don't they?" Lucian added energetically, flipping the stick so that the cracker-like part was between his fingers and the strawberry part was jutting out into the air like a cigarette from the 20s.
"They're a Japanese candy." Lucian added, twirling the pocky around with his fingers before taking a small bite off of the strawberry end. "Amy was in Japan for Christmas you know, so she sent me these. It's kind of like.. a cracker dunked in strawberry frosting."
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