June 1st - June 19th
It's almost summer! The last few weeks of school have come, and students will need to study hard for their final exams! Don't let up yet, or your grades won't be what you want them to. Of course, the weather is almost perfect and pristine, in attempts to lure students away from their studies.
Upon opening the footlocker at the end of the blue-curtained four-post bed, a small, pocket-sized leather-bound book is revealed. The corners of the front and back covers are gilded and the page ends are gold-leafed. The ifirst page has a gold line on which to write the author's name, which, in this instance, is faded with a line through it. Below it is written:
Jeremiah Edward Tate
To Edward - my only grandchild.
I hope this journal brings you as much
imagination and joy as it did when I was a child.
Write in it whenever you need to tell
someone something but can't ever
find a listening ear.
There are a few noticeable pages missing but the first present pages have few scribbles on them as if a young child had been writing on them. Not until the 7th page in is there distinguishable handwriting and page nine is the date clear. On the last inked page there is a note barely legible:
15/2/2002
I'm eight! It was my birthday today! I got a toy broom from mommy but dad laughed at me! I dont no why he though it was funny I guess and mommy talked to him when i played with it mommy said I can fly on the broom and I laughed too but now I no why daddy laughed! Mommy is crazy you cant fly on brooms alwell I am going to go play now!
I'm packing now. I know I haven't written in you very often - or at all for that matter - so I'm going to put you in my trunk for when I get to Hogwarts. I'll write in you when I get there.
Wow, are you old, or what? Found you in my trunk - mom must have put you there before I went away this year. That's weird. Heh, the last time that I wrote in you was when I just turned eight. Mom was right to not laugh, I did fly that day, even if it was only for a few seconds. I still have the scar to prove it! Anyway.
With the recent turn of the month I've felt myself growing more and more lonely. Maybe I'm not right to keep myself locked away in this shell of mine. Maybe I should run into the common room and serenade the first pretty girl that I see! And then later we can go to the Christmas social together and after that date for two years, get married, have children, and die while sleeping in our comfortable bed! What a laugh. Nope, I'm content with me, myself, and I. Well... not entirely, but I think I can make it until Christmas.
Binx and I haven't talked since the Maque. I get the feeling he's trying to avoid me. I don't really like it. I wish he would at least acknowledge me. I dunno. Hopefully he'll come around.
checkyourpockets
Edward "Ed" Tate
4th Year Ravenclaw Resident Wallflower
I think I had the best time I've had in a very long time tonight. ♥ That was a little bit gay, But I can't help it! He's too great. I mean, regardless of my feelings for him, he's got to be the coolest friend I've had in a while. Seeing as how I can count them all on one hand alone. We actually got out our assumptions and now we're gonna hang a lot more, or at least that's what he said. I'm glad. We have a partner class in Divination, I think we'll be partners. And plus, before we got punch he said that he had a character in one of his stories after me! Even if it's not a good one, I'm in there! We danced, well, I wish, but I mean with other people. And we talked a lot. Even after the dance we sat outside in the Entrance Hall and had a fun group of people around us. It's the most social I've been in a while.
Well. I'm off, it's late, I have dancer's feet haha.
checkyourpockets
Edward "Ed" Tate
4th Year Ravenclaw Resident Wallflower
Jason Cromwell
5th Year Slytherin
Prefect/Seeker Strictly Slytherin
"Oh, You Are The Roots That Sleep Beneath My Feet And Hold The Earth In Place"
I met you through a common friend
In the attic of my parents' house
And though I didn't know it then
I soon was finding out
Oh, you are the roots that sleep beneath my feet
And hold the earth in place
Each time a faucet opens
Words are spoken
The water runs away
And I hear your name
No, nothing has changed
There was this book I read and loved
The story of a ship
Who sailed around the world and found
That nothing else exists
Beyond his own two sails and wooden shell
And what is held within
All else is sure to pass
We clutch and grasp
And debate what's truly permanent
But when the wind starts to shift
Well, there's no argument
Now, I sing and drink and sleep on floors
And try hard not to be annoyed
By all these people worrying about me
So when I'm suffering through some awful drive
You occasionally cross my mind
It's my hidden hope that you are still among them
Well are you?
Oh, you are the roots that sleep beneath my feet
And hold the earth in place
Each time a curtain opens
Sunlight pours in
A lifetime melts away
And we share a name
On some picturesque grave
I dunno, you just make me feel this way. All for you.
checkyourpockets
Edward "Ed" Tate
4th Year Ravenclaw Resident Wallflower
Jason Cromwell
5th Year Slytherin
Prefect/Seeker Strictly Slytherin
Re: Understandably Edward TateSo I've been feeling pretty good about myself lately, and even though no prying eyes will ever see these words, I'd like to share with you a story - or more of a outline of emotions and general feelings. Somewhat fictional...so bear with me.
Maybe it was his hair. Or maybe it was the fact that when he wrote for too long he put on his rarely used pair of glasses. Whatever the reason, it had to be something so perfect, so wonderful, and so amazingly adorable; something so outstanding that made Ed feel the way he did about the boy.
At fourteen, you don’t know much about love. Love is just a crush or a feeling you have when you see someone that makes you feel good. It’s indescribable to the point of intangibility. People older than such an age can quite simply grasp the notion of Love. Love – that is – being simply a notion in the eyes of one who does not understand it. For now, it’s painted by the churning of your stomach acid, finding a way to make you sickly nervous when your eyes meet the person who you long for. It’s the heaviness of your heart when you find that something has gone wrong – something hasn’t played out, as you would have liked. Love is everything that you feel that you can’t explain, including the pain you suffer through the relationship, the hatred you feel for that certain someone when they have betrayed you, and most of all, the sensation that you have when they walk up to you and just talk. Then again, a young boy can only describe such a thing this way: he knows only the tip of the iceberg.
Somehow, like every other teen with a similar amount of angst and burdens, Ed bore this Love on his shoulders. It was immense, but he carried it – like he carried his confusion, his stress, and most of all, his book bag!
“Blimey, Ed, watch the threads!” A fellow fourth year exclaimed playfully to the day-dreamy Ravenclaw as he opened his eyes halfway through the hall from the common to the tower stairs. It was a quiet Sunday morning and Ed was on his way to drop his things off in the library before heading down a few more flights of, if remembered correctly, a secret stairwell to make his trip quicker. The boy who had passed him not more than five seconds before was, as he remembered, Kenneth MacTaggart. Ed found himself analyzing boys more and more often now, ever since he started being more open about his feelings towards them and accepting his sexuality. Kenneth, he started in his mind, cogs and gears turning ever so quickly, interpreting what he, himself, thought of the boy.
He was tall, but not more than three inches taller than Ed, slightly filled out, little definition (but who could tell with all those robes – must have came from Quidditch practice,) and well groomed. Ken had what some might call shag hair. It was a great dirty blonde and flipped at the ends; maybe that was a characteristic in boys that Ed liked – long hair. Ed was still figuring things out about himself, nearly playing games with his ideas and about what he liked on his fellow mates. At this point, Ed was secure enough with himself that he could deal with being bi in fun ways. It eased the sting of abnormality.
Ed was, however, dozing off into his thought world, and was now far down the stairs, past a few odd classrooms, and heading to the sixth floor. By now he had missed the secret passage and decided to continue to the library the easy
way.
“G’mor’in’, Madam Pince,” Ed said in a natural voice, having had this schedule for the past year and a half. Ed liked to think of it as if it were his own thing, much like an old man goes to a quaint diner each morning and orders the same meal. The librarian, however, was not always on the ball each day. The woman was going batty and most people Ed knew or heard talking also figured this out. She was old. People just accepted it.
“Oh, hello, Edward. Do you have that book you took out?” She asked in a slightly crackling, average old lady voice.
“Yup, have you read it?” Ed replied with another question, holding the book out for her to check the stamp and jot something down. His wandering eyes noticed that she was writing in a small pamphlet with a special pen. After she wrote down what was required, she closed the small notebook, allowing Ed to clearly see his name written on the front, looked back up to him, and smiled.
“Actually, Edward, I haven’t. I’m not fond of vampires,” she admitted truthfully, waving her wand at the book that he had just returned and let it float out of view of to its respective bookcase, no doubt.
“That’s a shame, it’s a good one,” smiled Ed, turning to leave. “I’ll be back for another when I come to study,” voice failing with extended distance.
And that’s how it went each Sunday morning. Ed wakes up, Ed stays in bed, Ed thinks for a long time, and Ed gets up. Without fail each time, he changes into a comfortable pair of jeans and a cozy long shirt or sweatshirt, and heads down the dorm stairs to the common room. Out to the hall – daydream – library. Return a book. Down to breakfast where he sits by himself. It was nice – could be better – but it was nice.
Things did, however, change that morning. The night prior, Ed had bumped into Marvin Binx. Binx was the boy that everyone loved to love and hated to hate. He had no enemies, really, and rarely took that role with anyone else. It was an odd meeting, one of five minutes past nine. Both hurried to maintain a good record and be back to the common rooms by nine o’clock curfew. Of course, sometimes it felt good to shake things off and take a nighttime walk down some empty halls. Ed liked walking, be it pacing or long strolls, Ed enjoyed time alone with himself. Binx did, however, turn the experience into something much more magical. The two talked for, what seemed like to Ed, hours on end about complete nothingness but everything all at the same time. He didn’t know it yet, but Ed was about to fall for a boy who he never really connected with prior to the night before. It’s the damned hair…
This had to have been the reason for Ed’s chipper, gleeful mood this morning. He was incredibly giddy. A swarm of butterflies enveloped his already churning stomach and he couldn’t contain how excited he was. Even if Binx was not going to say anything to him this morning at breakfast, Ed would have the pleasure of eyeing the boy out of the corner of his gray pools – formulating thoughts and ideas and stories of the Hufflepuff boy who he had spoken to the previous night.
Upon the landing of the ground floor, Ed looked at the large oak doors and grinned madly. Within moments he was walking through the threshold and into the Great Hall where a din of clanking utensils to plates and munching flowed into Ed ears. The Ravenclaw table was nearly empty besides a few fourth and fifth years sitting nearer the Head table and some younger students hoarding the middle seats. Ed sat himself dearly about three seats away from the end of the table facing the Hufflepuffs. His eyes scoured the table and he was delighted to find a collection of students heartily conversing and laughing together. Of course Ed found Binx at the heart of the fun; Binx was, after all, a fun boy. Next to him were two fifth years, “Puck” and Lucian. There was a sixth year Ravenclaw talking with them as well who he recognized to be as Jereff Stranger. Completely oblivious to his rude staring, Ed turned his craned neck back around to his book when he saw a pair of eyes watch him.
“That book can’t be that interesting,” a familiar voice sounded from behind.
Butterflies.
“Oh, right…” Ed replied for lack of a better, wittier retort that might have made him sound at least slightly intelligent or cool.
“You know, you could always just go read that book up in the library. I mean, do you even eat breakfast down here at all?” Binx said sarcastically. Ed did pick up on this and was ready this time. He grabbed a slice of bacon from a nearby serving plate and bit it eagerly, “Yes, yes I do,” he grinned.
“Well, would you mind eating breakfast with us over at the other table? The more the merrier,” Binx shrugged, pointing his thumb back at the table he came from without glancing back. Ed could see the others talking, most likely about who Binx was talking to.
“I-I’d um… I’d really enjoy that,” Ed truthfully said with a smile on his face. Picking up his book, he followed Binx over to the foreign table and said his “hellos”. He was especially fond of Puck and Lucian, simply because he knew Puck at least a little bit, and Ed had heard many stories about Lucian. He was cute and, as most people said, was in a relationship with an older Slytherin. If true, Ed respected the fact that someone at that age could maintain a relationship with someone of the same sex and keep friends. To Ed, alternate sexuality was something that easily deterred friends from you, and turn the worst into enemies.
checkyourpockets
Edward "Ed" Tate
4th Year Ravenclaw Resident Wallflower
Jason Cromwell
5th Year Slytherin
Prefect/Seeker Strictly Slytherin
Re: Understandably Edward TateSecond part. I'm loving this - and I don't particularly like writing!
Breakfast was wonderful as Ed began to figure anytime with Binx would be. He did, however, have to stick to his schedule and he wasn’t about to change his life because of his new friend but more commonly felt crush. Basically floating into the library as his taken out vampire novel did back to its shelf Eddie was elated.
“Back.” Madam Pince gave the boy a furrowed brow and asked, “From where?”
“Break…fast?” Ed said confusedly, turning and thumbing out the door with his brow just as wrinkled as the old woman’s.
“Oh, right you are,” The bat replied, making Ed giggle a little bit before gathering his things and taking out a textbook. He always hated History of Magic but it was basically the only class he ever had homework in. Ed figured he had it easy most homework days and just decided to do it to get the satisfaction of being a good student.
Yes, I am a goodie two shoes.
His quill began frantically in his right hand as he started writing out his history essay on Great Wizards and Their Impact on Magical Globalization.
“Boring…”
Ed jumped, turning around to the familiar face. It must have been his lucky day.
“Forget something?” Binx wiggled, holding something behind his back. Ed quirked his head to the side like a dog might if a high-pitched whistle was made. “Book,” the Hufflepuff smiled and handed the rather fancy looking book without a title to Ed. Thanking him with a small, you-too-perfect kind of smile, Ed closed his History book to allow for a good conversation.
“Mind if I sit?”
“Never,” Ed meant sincerely. If Binx were to ask him that same question if he were king and before him sat his thrown, Ed would say never and sit on the ground. Binx gave the reply a bit of thought before taking the seat; something about the way Ed said it made one side of his mouth grin.
Cute. Mental note of this grin.
“What’s up? Was breakfast, like, 3000 times better than sitting alone?” Binx laughed, nudging Ed in his left arm.
“Yeah, thanks. Really,” Ed nodded with sincerity. “Haven’t had that much fun in a while,” he added, remembering a few jokes Jereff made that made him laugh uncontrollably.
“You needed me, didn’t ya?” Binx smiled and Ed flashed nearly seven shades of red before Binx got the picture. “I meant to open up!” he annexed, “I’m not that handsome, am I?” Binx finished, posing jokingly, combing his hair with his hand like a movie star might.
Oh god, yes.
“Oh, of course,” he said while clicking a picture using his imaginary camera. He hoped Binx didn’t think he was being truthful, but was caught off guard when Binx blushed slightly at the comment. Pretending to not notice, Ed said, “Well, girls think so. I can tell why.”
Shit. You’re through, Ed.
“Huh?”
“I mean, uh, well. You’re funny, nice, wicked cool. A lot of things,” Ed quickly said trying to hide his showing boy crush – purposefully leaving out the “and cute” part to avoid further embarrassment.
Ed, however, received the most perfect of reactions from Binx. A pair of rosy cheeks, a turn of the head to hide them, and an accepting smile to boot. Binx, though, was not the shy boy of the two, and kept up just as quick.
“Thanks, Ed. You’re “cool” too.” It now became obvious to Ed that Binx had picked up on the fact that “cool” had clearly been a substitution for “cute” and appreciated the compliment. “I’m pretty sure that Lucian thinks Armand is “cool” too,” Binx smiled wide and scooted his chair in closer to Ed. Ed’s heart fluttered amazingly fast, racing to beats faster than ever before. The two were touching side-by-side and Binx touched Ed’s left arm that was resting on the table uneasily with his right hand. The tension could have been cut with a butter knife.
Ecstasy.
And the tension was cut. Binx tapped at the bland-covered book and said, “Get to reading. I’ll see you later, ‘coolie’.”
checkyourpockets
Edward "Ed" Tate
4th Year Ravenclaw Resident Wallflower
Jason Cromwell
5th Year Slytherin
Prefect/Seeker Strictly Slytherin
“Well, do you want to go outside?” Binx asked earnestly wanting something to do. The two had been stuck inside this whole weekend and they had done everything. Talking in the library had become their new “thing”. Ed found himself liking the idea that Binx fit so perfectly into his life and schedule more and more. He was especially happy about the growing relationship that had started between the two. The past week and a half was everything Ed had wished for and more. Hell, the fourteen year olds were inseparable that past ten days and it felt natural as ever to the both of them to be together.
“Outside can be pretty private, you know,” Ed agreed, giving Binx a cute “I know what you’re thinking” grin. His ideas were in depth and very well thought out. He, and surely Binx, had been formulating such things for at least the past four days or so – Ed’s formulations clearly reaching back before the boys’ connection.
I hope kissing is on his list, ‘cause it sure as Hell is on mine.
Somehow, Ed didn’t really think that Binx would disagree with that idea. Their relationship was complicated, but it did resemble something of a couple.
“Wanna?” Binx asked, his question pertaining to the notion of going outside.
Kiss you? Yes!
“Go outside? Yeah, let’s go,” Ed smirked, letting Binx lead the way out of the library annex. As soon as he was out the library door, though, Ed realized he was alone.
“Binx?” Ed called rather astonished by the Hufflepuff’s disappearance.
“Gotta be quick if you want to keep up with me!” a voice sounded from behind a nearby tapestry. Ed wasn’t fooled as easily as one might think and he threw aside the fabric.
“Got yo-“ Ed ended abruptly, bewildered again; he was facing a wall of stone instead of what he thought would have been the boy’s cute grin. “That’s not fair!” Ed shouted, looking slightly insane talking to a blank wall. Suddenly the wall faded magically and a dimly lit room with some dusty shelves was revealed.
“You really can’t be without me for more than a few minutes, can you?” Binx teased, hurrying down the nearby stairwell and calling behind him for Ed to keep up. Ed reached the landing and was again by himself. “Come on!” he exclaimed annoyed but with a laugh in his voice and a smile on his face because of the flirtation that was occurring.
By now, Ed’s idea of the pair’s first kiss was a quiet, cute, medium length peck when lounging somewhere private. He was in for a rude awakening.
A sound reverberated off of the walls of the small room but Ed wasn’t fast enough to turn round. A pair of fairly warm, soft, comforting hands placed themselves upon Ed’s laughing face, covering his eyes and hiding him from the world.
“Guess who…” Binx said with and obvious smile on his face. Ed knew from the way his voice sounded.
“I’m guessing… someone especially wonderful. Cute. Perhaps… a little goofy?” Ed replied, half complimenting and half teasing. Binx removed his hands slowly from his companion’s eyes and flushed a dark pink. It was an amazing feeling to Ed and Binx at that moment. Ed knew this was it and apparently the feeling was mutual because Binx moved in close, obviously taking control of the situation to spare Ed the embarrassment of doing it wrong.
Heart Failure
A warm hand again brushed his Ed’s soft, pale skin. This time, however, it was more of an inviting and careful touch. Instinct took Ed over and he felt weightless as he shut his eyes. Finally, as if he had been waiting a century, Ed felt a gentle, soft pair of sweet lips meet his. Subconsciously, he wrapped his shaking arms round Binx’s waist and kissed lightly back. This couldn’t be anymore perfect, Ed thought – his mind swelling and his heart racing. Neither boy wanted the feeling to end, but both pulled away regardless. Each smiled and blushed a bit. As suddenly as the kiss was over, Binx turned for the next set of stairs the lead out to the ground floor.
“Keep up to get the full deal!” Binx chuckled as he rushed down the stairs. Ed was dumbfounded; he was swimming in emotions. More? he thought. The smile that stretched across his face was perpetual but he was smart enough to follow the boy to figure out what the “full deal” was.
Re: Understandably Edward TateNot finishing the story. Not in the mood much, anymore. I leave you with this - guess who it's about!
"All Hail The Heartbreaker"
I had the notion that you'd make me change my ways
My bad habits would be gone in a matter of days
I had the feeling that you'd open up my eyes
To a whole new world that had since been in disguise
But that day will most likely never come for me
And it's just my luck to end up getting stuck
To everything you are
So tonight I'll sit and pick apart your pictures
And overanalyze your words
But the truth is that I've never fallen so hard
It's taking everything in me
Just to forget your sweater so far
I had the notion that you'd make me forget the world
But your undecisive mind shows me that
You are "just another boy"
I had the feeling that those looks you gave me were real
What if I ripped your heart apart at the seams
Maybe then you'd know how I feel
But that day will most likely never come for me
And it's just my luck to end up getting stuck
To everything you are
So tonight I'll sit and pick apart your pictures
And overanalyze your words
But the truth is that I've never fallen so hard
It's taking everything in me
Just to forget your sweater so far
I can honestly say
That I never, ever, ever felt this way
Your lips, your eyelashes, your skin
These are the parts of your body
That cause my comatose to begin
I can honestly say
That I never, ever, ever felt this way
Your lips, your eyelashes, your skin
These are the parts of your body
That cause my comatose to begin
I will sleep another day
I don't really need to anyway
What's the point when my dreams are infected
With words you used to say
I will breathe in a moment
As long as I keep my distance
I wouldn't want to go messing anything up
So don't go worrying about me
It's not like I think about you constantly
So maybe I do, but that shouldn't affect
Your life anymore
I knew it the moment you walked into the door
So don't go worrying about me
It's not like I think about this constantly
So maybe I do, but that shouldn't affect
Your life anymore
I knew it the moment you walked into the door
I'll let you get the best of me
Because there's nothing else that I do well
I'll let you get the best of me
Because there's nothing else that I do well
I'll be the giver and you'll be the taker
I guess that's how this one's gonna go I'll be the giver and you'll be the taker
You've got me down on my knees and I proclaim
All hail the heartbreaker
Email This To a Friend
Topic Commands
Click to receive email notification of replies
Click to stop receiving email notification of replies