Year 2000 entries in the empty super award
In August 1999, a member of the Beekeepers Association of the ACT, Robert Gardiner, suggested (or at least best enunciated) that the Association initiate a gentle contest for the best/funniest/strangest/most useful story about a bee related experience.
It was called 'The Empty Super Award'. Contributions appeared in the monthly newsletter, and the entries judged by an applause metre at a presentation dinner on Thursday 21 September 2000.
Ratings awarded were:
THANKS FOR COMING(1)
AMUSING(2)
GOOD ONE(3)
SCARY(4)
YOU DID WHAT!(5)
RobertGardiner
Unregistered User
(5/19/01 5:12 pm) Reply
Entry number 1
"I had just bought a hive and brought it home. Margaret told me that I couldn't leave it on the backyard paving as it was a traffic area. Being an obedient chap I walked out , in thongs, shorts and t-shirt, picked it up and started to carry it across the yard! I first realised my mistake when the sun went dark. The buzzing caused my legs to grow to twice normal length and I somehow beat the whole mob inside without a sting. The battering on the door from the bees was a definite ‘don't come back’ warning."
Applause metre rating: GOOD ONE (1)
DerekButler
Unregistered User
(5/19/01 5:17 pm) Reply
Entry number 2
On this occasion I was shifting a hive of bees up the bush. During the week a certificate to shift the hive over the border was duly obtained. Late on Friday night I closed the hive entrance and placed straps in place on the three decker in readiness for the move. Early Saturday morning I set about loading. There is no way I can lift a three decker with stores so I was very pleased once I managed to slide the hive up a plank onto the ute without either the hive or myself tumbling base over lid. By this time the sun was getting pretty strong.
Mistake number one: I didn’t check the plastic strapping which had originally been tightened in chilly night air.
So I set off and just outside Tharwa I noticed bees on the outside of the hive. Clearly the boxes had slid on the base allowing the confined bees to escape. I stopped to adjust the hive but of course the bees were in no mood to sit tight and continued to pour out of the unplanned openings.
Then I realised mistake number two. My bee suit was in the storage box in the back of the ute with the bees.
Luckily after a quick dive for the box and a sprint along the road away from the bees I was able to suit up, close the hive without any stings and continue on my way (minus a few bees!).
So now I know – when moving a hive, check hive straps are tight in the sun (preferably metal straps and Emlocks), and always keep your suit with you, not with the bees.
Applause metre rating: SCARY (4)
RobertGardiner
Unregistered User
(5/19/01 5:19 pm) Reply
Entry number 3
Margaret and I were working the hives one peaceful Saturday afternoon, both in our space suits. After work we walk around the yard for a while to let the bees fly off our backs. Our dear old next door neighbour saw us and called out that she had some vegetables for us. Margaret called back that we would come shortly. Billie didn't hear and kept calling. Margaret went closer to say it again. Naturally the bees flew from Margaret to Billie, lodged in her hair and stung her on the lip. Margaret rushed over and in removing her glove to swish the bees away was badly stung on the hand. Sir Galahad then had to gallop into action, same glove swish, same result. Final score: bees 3, people no score, but plenty sore.
Applause metre rating: AMUSING (2)
anonymous for obvious reasons
Unregistered User
(5/19/01 5:22 pm) Reply
Entry number 4
The Scene: in bed in a Sydney hotel.
"Love..,. Are you awake?" (Thinks: aha - Australian foreplay) "I am now... what's up?" "I've been thinking.... Do the bees cap queen cells?" (With great restraint) "It's 4am. I'll look it up in the morning." "OK love. 'night." 'Night, love."
Applause metre rating: GOOD ONE (3)
EdithThompson
Unregistered User
(5/19/01 5:25 pm) Reply
Entry number 5
I have a very active beehive on my balcony near the front door. Just at sunset recently a young man knocked at the door. He was carrying a long sports bag and was wearing an identification badge. He told me through the screen door that he was selling tickets for a particular charity. He wasn’t a local boy: his approach and manner marked him as coming from Sydney. When I handed him the money I noticed he’d placed his bag on the landing board of the hive. When questioned he said "Yes, I’m from Sydney". I asked him to carefully move his bag. "Why?". "That’s a beehive!". "Oh, I thought it was a bar fridge!".
Applause metre rating: SCARY (4)
LynShiels
Unregistered User
(5/19/01 5:27 pm) Reply
Entry number 6 -How to Lose Credibility in a Hurry
Last Spring Pat and Lyn Shiels went to collect a swarm from public land near Gowrie Shops. The bees had been there for a few days and had been harassed by the local yokels throwing sticks and stones at them. They were in a patch on the ground not far from the pathway from the shops. Lyn donned the beesuit and set up a box suitably laced with sugar syrup to persuade the bees to move in. Pat took up a position on the pathway and soon collected an admiring audience and began a dissertation about how the sugar and smoke were used to persuade the bees into the box. The audience of preschoolers and their mums were suitably impressed with the skill and knowledge displayed. On cue the bees began marching in to the amazement of all. However when only about four bees remained outside the tide turned and out came the whole swarm, even faster than they had entered, took to the air and decamped to a nearby tree. Not so impressive. They were eventually collected but by then audience and credibility were completely dissipated.
Applause metre rating: Between SCARY(4) and YOU DID WHAT!(5)
Lyn was declared the winner and graciously accepted The Empty Super perpetual trophy.
Entry number 7 - How to Lose a Hive in a Hurry
Recently Roy Bray received a request to provide a pollination service for some plants in a research glasshouse at CSIRO. On Saturday Roy took a strong two-box hive to the glasshouse and settled the bees into a comfortable Spring-like environment. He was just a little concerned that the unseasonable conditions might encourage the bees into early brood raising and increase the chance of an early swarm. The next day there were quite a few dead bees around the hive and four days later all the bees were dead. Not the most successful beekeeping experience in Roy’s beekeeping life. Certainly no problem with swarming though.
Applause metre rating: Between THANKS FOR COMING(1) and AMUSING(2)
RobertGardiner
Unregistered User
(5/19/01 5:32 pm) Reply
Entry number 8 - Last Autumn’s Requeening
Doug’s talk reminded me of last autumn’s requeening. Margaret and I carefully discussed all actions and contingencies. Having reached agreement, she went off to suit up. I got out a match to punch a hole in the candy. It seemed a bit hard, so I pushed harder. BIG MISTAKE!! It was the cork end. When Margaret came out I was chasing the queen around the yard. With one mighty swipe I plucked it out of the air. Putting it back in the cage was another story. Surprise – that particular queen didn’t survive. When it was noticed that I had tried to do a delicate task without my glasses on.……………
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