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Nidavellir Warclan > Public Ale House > a nother chuckle....hopefully with more laughs. :P) |
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Gloag Dirtnapper
Clan Protector Posts: 199 (7/19/05 2:18 pm) Reply |
a nother chuckle....hopefully with more laughs. :P) Dwarves go to war. Durin Ironshield of the iron hills pays a visit to the Elven King of Mirkwood. "Sir", says Durin, "We have decided to go to war with ye." The elven king looks incredulous, but takes war seriously. "We? Who is this we?", he says sternly. "Well, that would be me, me brother Thorin, his son Durin, our cousins Olin and Golin, and our pop Thrain." "My good Dwarf, I have 1100 elves at my command that can be ready to move on a moment's notice.", says the king. "Oh.", replies Durin. "Let me get back to ye on that." The Dwarf leaves, but returns two days later. "Ok king, I have rounded up two more cousins and we a few axes between us all." "Sir Dwarf, I have 300 of the finest archers around, plus my royal guards are all spellsingers, armed with swords of sharpness." "Oh, well, I see." The Dwarf lord thinks a bit. "Let me come back to ye." And he leaves to return again in two days. "Ok king, we have rounded up a few more swords and I think we are ready". "You should know my good dwarf that I have since raised the size of my elven army to 1300." "Ah fok!", and the dwarf leaves. He comes back the next day. "Well king, I am afraid we have to call off the war." "I am sorry to hear that. Was it the power of my elven army to changed your mind?" "Nah, I spoke to all my kin and we decided that we just did not have the room for 1300 prisoners." |
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Smorri Nosebiter
Dwarf-at-Arms Posts: 132 (7/19/05 2:46 pm) Reply |
Re: a nother chuckle....hopefully with more laughs. :P)
Har!
But seriousinatin, dat kind a thing happens all da time ta Smorri! Smorri Nosebiter ("Spellcasters?! Bah! Smorri stuns wit Smorri's good looks!!") Edited by: Smorri Nosebiter at: 7/19/05 3:04 pm |
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Hargdal
Ale Fetcher Posts: 5 (7/20/05 10:17 am) Reply |
Re: a nother chuckle....hopefully with more laughs. :P) A troll captin was marching his entire army to attack Jordy. Dey were passin an old abandoned city when dey heard a voice within the ancient city’s walls, "One dwarf is better den ten troll soldiers!". Da captin was enraged and immediately sent ten of his best troops over da walls while the remainder of the company waited outside. Den came the sounds of a terriffic fight going on, and soon all was quiet. Den the voice spoke again "One dwarf is better den a hundred troll soldiers!" Well, the captain sent a hundred of his best troops over the walls. Soon came the sounds of a fight and then silence again. The voice spoke up again "One dwarf is better den a thousand troll soldiers!" The captain was furious! He immediately sent the remainder of his troops over the walls save only himself. (one of the advantages of rank!). There came the sound of a fierce battle, and then silence, followed by the sound of a dwarf laughing. Finally, one lone troll stumbled back from the battle and collapsed at the captains feet. "Speak! What happened?" asked the captain. The soldier replied with his last breath. "It....was... ....trap....der's....TWO....of....dem...." |
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Gloag Dirtnapper
Clan Protector Posts: 200 (7/20/05 11:44 am) Reply |
Re: a nother chuckle....hopefully with more laughs. :P) <chuckles>...silly trolls wil never learn...DONT MESS WIT DWARFS |
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Hargdal
Ale Fetcher Posts: 8 (7/21/05 3:57 pm) Reply |
Re: a nother chuckle....hopefully with more laughs. :P) So two trolls were eating a Darkwood Trickster, and one says to the other, "Does this taste funny to you?" |
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Gloag Dirtnapper
Clan Protector Posts: 204 (7/21/05 6:37 pm) Reply |
Re: a nother chuckle....hopefully with more laughs. :P) Gloag and Sherlynn are senior citizens, and Gloag has always wanted an expensive pair of alligator cowboy boots. Seeing them on sale one day, he buys a pair and wears them home, asking Sherlynn, "So, do you notice anything different about me?" "What's different? It's the same shirt you wore yesterday and the same pants." "What's different?" Frustrated, Gloag goes into the bathroom, undresses and comes out completely naked, wearing only his new boots. Again he says, "Sherlynn, do you notice anything different?" "What's different, Gloag? Your penis is hanging down today; it was hanging down yesterday and will be hanging down again tomorrow." Angrily, Gloag yells, "Do you know why it's hanging down? 'Cause it's looking at my new boots!" Sherlynn replies, "You should have bought a hat!" |
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Hargdal
Ale Fetcher Posts: 9 (7/22/05 10:55 am) Reply |
Re: a nother chuckle....hopefully with more laughs. :P) HAR! dats a good one! |
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