Well, that's a shit situation you're in. Personally, I'd try to get him one to one and explain that you can deal with being friends. Mind you, you need to decide if you can... Be honest with him - if you pretend to lose all feelings when you still fancy him you're treating him badly, don't do it.
Quote:first and foremost, he is my friend. I never want to lose that.
Make sure you tell him that.
If he won't speak to you in person, then send him an email. Explain your feelings. Get it all out in the open. Make sure he knows how much this whole situation has upset you.
No one can help who they fall in love with: Undeniable truth of the universe No7. I'm sure every single person who has ever roamed the earth has fallen for someone who doesn't feel the same. Chances are your best friend has experienced this as well - Explain to him that you cannot help the way you feel, but make it clear that you know there can never be anything between you. And tell him you need him in your life as a friend.
If he is any sort of mate, he will be there for you when the dust has settled and he's got his head around the situation.
Re: Losing My Best Friend
If it's any encouragement this sounds like something that happened to me some years ago.
You can't help the way you get to feel about someone, and spending a lot of time together and enjoying things together, well the emotions just take on a life of their own.
I eventually told my friend about how I felt. he didn't flip, but afterwards distanced himself, painful though it was for me at the time, but we did have enough of a bond that the friendship didn't totally disappear. It was a wise thing, in this case, to do because it gave me time to "get over him" so to speak, by not seeing him very much and not being in more intimate surroundings together.
Eventually we became closer again - and he's now been one of the closest friends anyone could ever have for a long time.
People will react in different ways to this sort of news, but hopefully once it's all calmed down you'll be ok again.
As said above, if he's a good friend he won't abandon you! Just give things a little while to settle.
Hope it works out, because I can fully understand how you're missing his friendship.
re
I agree with what's been said above. Maybe he's just distanceing himself from you to allow you both to get your feelings straight. Try to start thinking of him as a friend and not a pottential partner. Then hopefully you'll realise he's more valuble as a friend than a partner. Sometimes haveing close friends as partners can only make things more complicated. What if you two had a bad break-up someday? If you think things are tense now then pisture what it'll be like then.
You can't help the way you feel about him at the moment but a bit of time apart may do you some good. It's not a crush as you said but maybe it could be an infactuation?
Either way he needs some time and space, give it to him. Your friends are probably trying to get him to speak to you again anyway.
If he hasn't come to you in a few weeks then maybe it would be a good time to speak to him face to face. Tell him that you value a friendship with him more than you would a relationship.
Hope it all goes well for ya mate
Pooky X
I too was in a similar situation, but I was on the other end, my friend said that he fancied me.
I was horrible to him, reacted in a similar way to your friend. I just though I'l let you know what I felt and why I distanced myself.
Like i said I was horrible to him, I blanked him out completely - we actually didn't speak for a year - nearly two. Her had told me and I felt as if I had been betrayed - I kept thinking all the times that we were sharing he was looking at me in a different light. I don't know why this freaked me out but it did. I know that I was out of line but it took me all that time to realise it. Time, the great healer worked for me and my friend. He go in touch and we caught up on the times that we had lost. We are not as good friends now as we used to be, but almost. I think the only thing stopping us is that our life styles are different now.
Enough about me, the one thing that made me see how silly I was when he got a boyfriend. I realised that he no longer wanted to go out with, and all he wanted was to be friends, I don't know why but I was extremely jealous. Pathetic.
You friends just needs to know that you actually do want to be friends and that you have no ulterior motive. But if you do have one then it might be best to leave it for a while - by no means leave it as long as we did.
Sorry if I have rambled on about myself so much, I thought you might be able to learn from my experience - probably not knowing my life.
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