Oh God enough already. Just let him wallow in his own self pity and leave him to it. This post will get closed soon enough if all this argueing continues...........
DirrtyCA just because someone doesnt say you are thin, or comments on your looks doesnt mean you are fat, maybe this guy had lost a lot of weight or toned up and your friend noticed that so thats why they commented ?!
and the only thing that matters is what you think, if you think you are thin then thats ok, if you dont like the way you look then do something about it. but if you was fat then wouldnt your boyfriend make some comment........................
so just relax, if you think you are fat then thats gonna affect your confidence and thats what will drive people away!!!!!
Quote:I know next to nothing about Dirrty, but one thing I can say is that he probably isn't 'just lucky' or 'not living in the real world' because he has money. At some stage either he or his parents had to work very hard for that money and status - and that's the reality. That didn't come about from sitting about in a slum and not going for what they want in life because 'this is reality' and 'this is how life is meant be'.
I hate the phrase 'living in the real world' with a vengance. What on earth is the 'real world'? Isn't it getting a bit sad when we label the 'real world' as being poor, probably living in a counsel house, and surving on Asda Smart-Price baked beans? Ok I know I was filling in the gaps there, but why set that as the standard for 'real life'? If someone has money, does that make life any less real? Any less viable as a person, or make their life any less real? It really doesn't...I know most people don't have money, but that doesn't make it more of a reality. Surely it's very self limiting setting that as the basis for life, and that's more arrogant than enjoying success?
As for judging his problem - it obviously is a problem for him, and he did no harm by posting it. It's not for us to decide how important it is. It doesn't help by getting into a game of 'my problem is better than yours', and self pitying.
It's been said that Dirrty has made sarcastic comments to other members of the group - but has anyone apart from him had an entire post hijacked by flaming?
As for Image - I don't believe that looks are important at all. Personality is what counts - it's said so much it has become trite.
However, image is a completely different thing. Not, of course, to a value a person by their image, but as a means to an end. It's probably a semiotics thing, but how a person dresses can be very important in certain fields. Celebrities, for example... Could you ever imagine Brad Pitt being a recognised actor if he was a south london scallie with a fat bum and a big nose? No less value as a person of course, but certainly more likely to be successful if he is good looking.
Sorry, I don't like to say it, but there have been many studies on it - good looking people are often seen as more successful, less likely to commit crime, less likely to have mental health problems, and look mentally intelligent.
In some fields, looks are very important.
And back to the semiotics, how a person dresses is important in this case not only to how a person looks, but to what that signifies. It's another step in self improvement if you want to promote yourself for a career or social goal - there is no harm in refining an image. Once all of life's big problems are out of the way, why not refine a gauche, bottom rate image and dress for success? It certainly isn't arrogant to learn that the way you dress can manipulate a better life, as part of a communication tool.
And on a final note, this problem aside... Dirrty seems very happy with his life - even if we don't agree with his attitude. So what's more important? To have a happy life, or to have everyone think like you? Or are we getting at him because he is actually happy, and we can't handle that?
Rich
I'm sorry dude, but that's a load of bullshit.
You say he's "happy", yet such a small thing as gaining a bit of weight makes him unhappy. That's not what I'd call happy. That's what I'd call a little fucked up in the brain. This is someone who needs help. It's not someone who is "happy".
The real world has many different variations, but when people say "the real world", they mean the world where people have to work hard for what they want to achieve, and very often don't reach their goals. They suffer lots of setbacks, because in reality, goals aren't easy to achieve, and in reality, a large amount of people don't achieve their goals. They have to put up with real shit - and that is what the real world is. And when they have gone through the bullshit and pain of trying to reach their goals, problems that once mattered no longer matter, because they now know what's important in life.
Dirrty clearly doesnt know what's important in life. Gaining a bit of weight is not an important thing, and to be honest no-one gives a shit. And if he thinks that it is important, then he needs medical attention. I mean, how the hell will he cope when he has to face a real problem, if he can't even deal with this]??
A world where gaining a bit of weight is seen as a problem is not the real world. It's a warped view of how the world should be. A world full of shallow individuals who get upset at the most insignificant amount of pain because they have never experienced real hardship.
I'm sorry mate, but there is a real world. I think you yourself have yet to realise that.
Quote:Your problem is that you think you are a diva. And all divas think everything is about them.
come of it will you scott?
maybe your the one who thinks your the diva.
Quote:well this isn't about you, its about me
oh, theres my point proven! you just sed that all divas think everythink is about themselves, and then you go to put 'this is all about me' jeeez, siome people.
to be honest with you dirrtyca, you are totally getting what you deserve.
Quote:You say he's "happy", yet such a small thing as gaining a bit of weight makes him unhappy. That's not what I'd call happy. That's what I'd call a little fucked up in the brain. This is someone who needs help. It's not someone who is "happy".
I am perfectly happy and I don't think this has anything to do with my parents, what they do or whatever silly preconceived notions you have about my background. The whole fabric of my life hasn't fallen apart yet based on one snag but this is a real problem. I really don't understand why people don't get it. Obviously you have never been in a situation where you are respected for something and then without warning it is taken away from you (wrongly) My life is about the persuit of beauty - I live to acquire beautiful things (clothes and furniture) and I do so looking, I think, looking pretty damn good myself.
Therefore Striderface - yes this is is something important and it is a real problem for me because I was brought up to think taking care of yourself is is just the most important thing ever. I was brought up to believe it is about respect for yourself - my parents brought me up to believe if you are overweight that is like abusing the body God gave you and that there is no excuse for not loosing the weight. I don't necessarily agree with that - I honestly don't care if someone is over weight...because I don't give a fuck about other peoples life but it matters when it is me because that is not who I am.
As I have already said I know perfectly well that I am not fat and that I am not unattractively thin but I am being victimised to feel that way. My boyfriend prizes my boyish frame and if I got fat he would be the first to tell me - then I would really worry - but that doesn't stop my friends disrespect upsetting me.
My body is so important to me that it has become a problem for me but I'm proud of the attention to detail I observe. I don't abuse it at all. I won't even breathe alcohol fumes, I avoid smoke like hell and I have refused to go into shops with bad lighting having convinced myself it is bad for my skin - because if I don't I will lie awake at night worrying about stupid things like the state of my internal organs. I want them to be clean and healthy and in perfect working order not just like the outside.
It might sound compulsive, obsessive or neurotic but those are my beliefs. The real thing here which I should worry about is the fact today nobody respects another persons beliefs no matter what they are.
This is turning into just one long thread where DIRRTY proves he is mentally ill and everyone else retaliates because hes making himself look like a minge...can't see this post staying open for much longer..
Quote:Well said, and I was only expressing my opinion!
Quote:I'm sorry dude, but that's a load of bullshit.
Sorry guys, didn't mean to offend anyone.
I know I have a habbit of shoving my opinions in peoples faces, and I know it was a bit of a controversial post, but I just wanted to show things from the other point of view.
Re: Upset
I know I have won when you have to resort to completely pitiful and unexplained statements such as your a "waist (geddit?) of space" and "your mentally ill."
And that is the only reason anyone would ever close this topic....because you have to resort to those name calling tactics. It is nothing to do with me.
Re: Upset
it is if you go around jumping down other peoples problems, telling them what is and what isn't. (for exmaple what is and isn't photography to the one guy..which went on to upset him about a course he wanted to do)
and then you expecting us to be nice to you about something as silly as your friends not telling you that you're thin.
I don't need to hear my friends tell me i'm fat everyday...and nor do i...it doesn't lead me to beleive i'm thin. The fact that they don't comment on my body for the most part is fine by me, it is afterall my body.
of course, the odd time i do a new hair style, or am wearing new trousers/shirt they askabout it, say if it lokos good or bad, but that's it. That's how life works. It's nothing to do with respect.
Narcissistic Personality Disorder: Behavior or a fantasy of grandiosity, a lack of empathy, a need to be admired by others, an inability to see the viewpoints of others, and hypersensitive to the opinions of others.
in a way i bet dirrtyCA is loving this thread because everyone is posting and some getting a bit heated because of him!!!!! so somehow all this attention hes getting must make up for the tiny bit he lost when his friend didnt comment on his good thiness!!!!
and to be honest i wouldnt find someone in size 9/10 yr old top attractive, to me they would be too thin, but then each to their own and if he thinks he looks good like that then thats his life.
Quote:And that is the only reason anyone would ever close this topic....because you have to resort to those name calling tactics. It is nothing to do with me.
lol keep telling yourself that!
It has everything to do with you. And by the way, I did not once resort to name calling.
I'm just reading your "I know I have won" comment....
Well at least we now know that you see this as some game that either you or everyone else is going to win. I knew you couldn't have been being serious.
Oh by the way, I said ''mentally ill'' because you're inconsolably upset by a bit of extra weight. That's not normal. That's a little crazy, to be honest. i.e. mentally ill.
And I said ''waste of space'' because you're taking up space on this forum with ''problems'' that aren't actually problems.
There you go... they're not ''unexplained'' anymore.
By the way - what exactly were you hoping to achieve by posting your ''problems'' here? Was it just because you needed to talk? Or were you hoping for something else.....?
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