Moderator v2.0
Posts: 2887
(4/28/04 8:19 pm) Reply
Anatomy of a Rant
My bit of creative thread locking seems to have both caused a stir and been misinterpreted, so I hope that this post will clear the confusion about what was the actual content and purpose behind my words:
Okay, now you're not even trying.
It's one thing to go off on a 'unique' tangent whining about everything under the sun and being creative about it, but I could've scooped a post similar to that out of a donkey's ass. If trolling were an art form the above post would be considered children's fingerpainting (and I must apologize to all those children out there who fingerpaint - to be compared to the above post must be traumatic for a child who's originality and imagination definitely outshine the words above). This thread is barely worth the effort it's going to take for me to lock it, but when I took the position of moderator I knew eventually there were going to be posts like the one above.
Oh and just so there's absolutely no confusion, and I'm locking this solely because I hate former trekkies who have renounced their love of Star Trek. You should've just stuck with Llabak not liking you - I'm much worse. For example, I'm mean enough that I'd do something like instead of locking a thread (let's use as a completely hypothetical example, a thread whining about their friend forcing them to watch the first two Lord of the Rings movies), I'll wipe it from the face of the earth, just because I can.
And I may also without any explanation whatsoever (remember this is completely hypothetical, of course) delete any and all new trolling threads which lack the imagination and creativity that this site deserves and demands. If you want to be a troll here instead of a reasonable contributor to this forum's discussions, you're still going to have to put as much thought, if not more, into what you write. Then again, one of the other staff members may just ban you and be done with it. I wouldn't do that of course, because I want to be certain you can read this reply.
See? It's not that hard to be creative. I start by criticizing the actually effort put into the post, nullifying its content as irrelevant, then in showing my disappointment I make a classy apology to children who fingerpaint (turning it into a further insult of your post). I then turn a previous thread you started back on you, so as to infer that had you not written it my actions would've been different (would they have really? I guess we'll never know). I then take the post that Llabak locked, and go one further by removing it entirely, showing that I am true to my word when I write that I'm worse than Llabak. Doing it under the guise of a hypothetical example was just a twist that I cared enough to throw in for fun.
Normally I wouldn't have gone back point-for-point explaining my post, but I figure that the rest of The Safehouse would understand it and didn't want you to feel left out. As a Safehouse staff member I'm caring enough to go that extra mile, especially for those with 'special' needs which require 'special' attention (by the way, that was a direct insult on your intelligence, just in case you missed it. Normally I wouldn't have felt the need to explain it, but as I just finished mentioning... ).
"Just think of me as the Dr. Hannibal Lector of The Safehouse. If you're Clarice Starling I'll respect you; if you're Dr. Frederick Chilton I'll devour you."
Orange: My creative rant, to combat the initial incredibly unoriginal rant. Sort of trying to get a Yin-Yang effect for the thread as a whole.
Gray: The actual explanation of my rant for educational purposes, point by point explaining the nuances of my writing so as nothing is overlooked.
Yellow: Well, to be honest, I was actually just on a roll here, so I figured I'd go with the flow and make it entertaining. If you can't keep the audience entertained, then there's no use in writing the post to begin with.
Teal: A metaphor. "A figure of speech in which a word or phrase that ordinarily designates one thing is used to designate another, thus making an implicit comparison". Not meant as a literal translation. Basic translation: "If you're nice, I'll be nice. If you're not, I won't."
Is it wrong to encourage trolls to strive for creativity in their rants? I hope beyond hope that I may one day open a thread to gaze upon the most eloquently written, grammatically correct, and creatively orchestrated post which after reading not once, not twice, but three times, and then saving the text to my hard drive, I'll think to myself "That's the most impressive trolling post I've ever laid eyes on."
I'd still lock it of course because that's my duty here, but just to be able to experience the Mona Lisa of trolling posts is my dream... and what is life without a dream?
Edited the colour scheme: though green is my favourite colour, I understand the objection and will do my part so that everyone can have the pleasure of reading and understanding this thread. Heil Safehouse!Edited by: Ruccus at: 4/29/04 10:07 am
Registered User
Posts: 578
(4/28/04 8:34 pm) Reply
Re: Anatomy of a Rant
well put - Ruc. I have to say, that response made me laugh out loud, and I haven't done that in a while. Down w/ the trolls.
(BTW, sidenote unrelated to the thread... has anyone else had trouble loading the SH recently? I've been having lots of trouble, and I noticed the posts per minute has decreased significantly.)
Re: Anatomy of a Rant
I thought it was a great post Ruc...and I would have posted that, except the post was locked, which made it difficult to post a response. But if I had posted a response in the post it would have been a post saying how great the post was. I was going to make another post about how great your post was, but then I thought maybe I shouldn't be posting about you writing a post slaming a troll, thinking people might think I was just trying to up my post count. Besides, I couln't have posted it in the Rant Hall, since it wasn't a rant. I didn't want to put some lame post that wasn't a rant in the Rant Hall now did I? Anyways, I just wanted to say that that was a great post. Keep up the great work!!! (and if your not careful, we might just have to upgrade you to version 3.0!)
(sorry for the above, frustration with ezboard and way too much tea...well lets just say it's not pretty)
Gravedigger? When you dig my grave, could you make it shallow so that I can feel the rain? ~ Dave Matthews ~
Registered User
Posts: 4944
(4/29/04 9:52 am) Reply
Re: Anatomy of a Rant
Now THAT was funny.
Kaielen Registered User
Posts: 677
(4/29/04 9:54 am) Reply
Re: Anatomy of a Rant
Wtf is with the dark green font? Word to the wise, don't use dark reds or greens or color blind people will get pissed off and skip the rest of your rant, Mod Nazi.
Silvorn Registered User
Posts: 588
(4/29/04 11:19 am) Reply
Re: Anatomy of a Rant
Only reason to watch Star Trek, Enterprise etc.? The hot chicks!
Vulcan128 Registered User
Posts: 15
(4/29/04 2:09 pm) Reply
Re: Anatomy of a Rant
Very nice. A color coded schitzed out reposting of a previous posting personally attacking a reader. After consulting the rules I have established two things. First that no one is permitted to personally attack anyone and secondly that nowhere does it state that you cannot discuss a moderator on a thread. Apparently we have no rights. This is what I am told. Do all of you out there believe that? I hope not. personally I don't beleive that the above posting is well written, concise or poignant in anyway. To call it creative begs the question of what isn't creative. Perhaps in the future we should all go gloating about our postings and put them up in a color coded fashion. Orange= stupid, blue= trite, red= non sequitar, green= arrogance and brown= power trip. That would be pretty cool. Oh well I've got some stuff to take care of in the real world. I understood your little metaphor my friend, but is Hannibal Lector really someone you want to be compared with? Heil Safehouse? is that a Hitler reference. At least your honest.
P.S.-
Kitty is actually better than Star Trek- I think many of you would like them.
Edited by: Vulcan128 at: 4/29/04 3:12 pm
Registered User
Posts: 584
(4/29/04 2:21 pm) Reply
Re: Anatomy of a Rant
IBTB!
Vulcan128 Registered User
Posts: 16
(4/29/04 2:26 pm) Reply
Re: Anatomy of a Rant
And one more thing. What does this mean "I start by criticizing the actually effort put into the post, nullifying its content as irrelevant." You mean that you nullify the contents relevancy.
Moderator v2.0
Posts: 2889
(4/29/04 2:48 pm) Reply
Re: Anatomy of a Rant
I don't recal e-mailing anyone with this post; it's an explanation of a post on a public forum. I don't even know your e-mail Vulcan128, but I'll assume you mis-typed and meant to say 'forum post' and not e-mail. I was going for neither concise nor poignant, so we'll just disagree as to whether it's well written.
"I start by criticizing the actually effort put into the post, nullifying its content as irrelevant to the point of my post." If I was to nullify my post's relevancy, then I shouldn't bother writing it.
I'm sorry, it's my fault for using proper sentences and paragraphs so the rest of The Safehouse can understand. I'm just not used to incorrectly using grammar and avoiding the use of paragraphs. I can't speak 'leet', and I can't speak 'troll'; maybe someone would be nice enough to find an english to troll dictionary so further confusion can be minimized.
Registered User
Posts: 545
(4/29/04 3:14 pm) Reply
Re: Anatomy of a Rant
Quote:the actually effort
I had a cousin would always made this blunder, in verbal form rather than actual text.
e.g.
"Dude check this out. Is it for really?"
It makes kittens cry! Please think of the poor kittens who may or may not have actually tear ducts in the really world, a fact which is unknown to me with my completely lack of knowledgely about catly biology.
Note: this post, while true, is meant in a humorous fashion! You may now feel free to mock my Canadian spelling and heritage.
edit: That first line about my cousin got mangled by me treating this text entry box like a word processor and editing the line a few times before posting, then neglecting to use the "Preview" button... but I'm leaving the genuine error there so people have more ammo to mock me back with, should they so choose
Re: Anatomy of a Rant
Yeah, our moderators are a bunch of Nazis.
And we LIKE it. Ha ha. Sucks to be you! Frankly, it doesn't matter if it's in the rules or not. You were warned what? Three times? @#%$, you even have four locked posts in your name or so, all within a week. The fact that you haven't gotten a week ban yet astounds me, and says a lot about the generousity (or stupidity? /personal attacks the mods) of them.
Moderator v2.0
Posts: 2890
(4/29/04 3:26 pm) Reply
Re: Anatomy of a Rant
Well as I mentioned before I don't intend to ban him, and I'm not sure why that last post deserves his banning (if it's the Hitler reference, that was just a little play on Kaielen calling me a "Mod Nazi", so believe it or not Vulcan128 was actually correct when he wondered if it was a Hitler reference).
The only thing I'm wondering is if we can make green the official colour of 'Power Trip'; as I mentioned before it's my favourite colour.
Vulcan128 Registered User
Posts: 17
(4/29/04 3:29 pm) Reply
Re: Anatomy of a Rant
I've never heard of the phrase, "nullify as" followed by the oppossite of what your nullfying. My initial example was correct and I can speak English quite well.
Here I've moved onto another paragraph. While this used to be about a debate about whether or not Ruccus is actually a genius, it's not a forum regarding the proper essay formatting and editing of these posts.
.
Ruccus is a brilliant writer. he uses paragraphs and metaphors and puts incredible amounts of thought into his work. Of course afterwards he explaiins it to everyone casue he doesn't think they're smart enough to interpret if for themselves. One word of advice- write for the level of your audience. If you think we don't know what a metaphor is, don't use one.
Edited by: Vulcan128 at: 4/29/04 4:04 pm
Koru Registered User
Posts: 4186
(4/29/04 3:31 pm) Reply
Re: Anatomy of a Rant
The difference between the good Dr Lecter and our moderators, except of course our lady Fricka, is that the mods are more likely to eat people raw and alive (excepting any dips in scalding hot oil). Where as Lecter prefered to cook his victims first.
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